Question about ..

[ojmcduffie]

OK, here's the story:
Th girl i'm currently seeing is pretty much a nymph. Well last night she asked, "What else do you like to do?" I told her pretty much whatever (not expecting what was coming next).

She said "I like to be tied up and told what to do. I want you to be in total control of me."

Here's the dilemna:
As much of a turn on it is for me, it kind of makes me nervous. I'm 22 and have never really had a girl that was into this stuff. So I'm a little worried I might not know what to do. I want to make sure she gets the satisfaction she's looking for. So maybe someone here could help me out?
Thanks

P.S. Sorry if this is too much for some of you.

[eightball61]

Is this the girl from Florida or do you have a new girl?

Either way my suggestion would be to go with the flow. This girl seems to like wild and you'll learn as you do. Since you both are open to this subject then mention to her that you are new at it. Maybe you both could go to your local adult store together and pick up a few things.

Goodluck & have fun :)

[ojmcduffie]

Is this the girl from Florida or do you have a new girl?

Either way my suggestion would be to go with the flow. This girl seems to like wild and you'll learn as you do. Since you both are open to this subject then mention to her that you are new at it. Maybe you both could go to your local adult store together and pick up a few things.

Goodluck & have fun :)
lol, you know what's funny. No it isn't the FL girl, she's coming up on Friday...which sucks.

I met this current girl few weeks ago at a restaurant. She's a waitress there and she came up to me and simply said "You're hot." At first she wanted , then she started to get feelings for me and vice versa.

As for an adult store, i dunno about all that, and yeah she knows I'm new to this whole "Tie me up" thing. I dunno, I'm just worried I'm going to screw something up. I think it's just the fact that I have to tie her up like a slave...when i like both people to be involved.

[eightball61]

I am a little confused :confused:

Are you still getting back together with the Florida girl?

Are you with this new girl just for ?

What are your plans with her?

You both just met a few weeks ago and with these conversations happening this soon I have a feeling she's only looking for a goodtime....

[ojmcduffie]

I am a little confused :confused:

Are you still getting back together with the Florida girl?

Are you with this new girl just for ?

What are your plans with her?

You both just met a few weeks ago and with these conversations happening this soon I have a feeling she's only looking for a goodtime....

No here's how it went down:

Month and a half ago, I bought "FL Girl" a plane ticket to come see me on Aug. 12th ( i was interested in getting together with her). Well inbetween that time I met a girl locally. This girl is the "Nymph."
Me and "Nymph" have been getting very close to each other recently therefore she's become more open, hence her telling me what she likes when having . Does this clarify a little more?

[teejaye18]

well i would say just go with the flow and either you will like it as much as her or you wont?!!

[ojmcduffie]

well i would say just go with the flow and either you will like it as much as her or you wont?!!

I'll find out tonight and let you guys know how it turns out...

I'm pretty sure I'll like it as much as her, it's just something different...very different for me.

[teejaye18]

well life is funner if you try new things good luck

[ojmcduffie]

well life is funner if you try new things good luck

I agree, I'm always up for new things... and thank you
hopefully i don't need it.as she's laying their with her hands tied to a bed post...I'm going to feel like I'm raping her.

[teejaye18]

oh geez dont think of it that way!! or you'll never enjoy it

[ojmcduffie]

oh geez dont think of it that way!! or you'll never enjoy it

Yeah i know, thats my problem...i need to get over that.

[teejaye18]

i understand that since its new to you that you would be having those thoughts but really once you get in there you cant be thinkin like that or you'll never be able to do it and you wont even enjoy the experience

[ojmcduffie]

i understand that since its new to you that you would be having those thoughts but really once you get in there you cant be thinkin like that or you'll never be able to do it and you wont even enjoy the experience

If i have those thoughts, I wont even be able to perform, let alone enjoy it. I dunno, I'm sure when I see her on her stomach I wont think like that. We'll see, I'll let you know tomorrow how it went. :D

[teejaye18]

good luck :p

[eightball61]

Remember:

Be open & honest on your lack of experience with this type of . Please don't feel ashamed by bringing this up to her....

[Howard]

What about other crazy stuff like Sadism and Masochism? :confused:

If not,you could try handcuffing her to your bed.

[bevanluv]

hey im new to this forum :) Ppl have been nice to me and i dont want to stir the pot, but why is it that just because a woman enjoys having that she's branded a nympho?... like i've been with my partner for 4 months and we are very serious but because i enjoy having and trying new things in the bedroom he calls me a nympho too... and says im never saticfied. Which isnt the exact case, he says i'm so good in bed and thats y he comes in about 5-10 mins which is NEVER enough time for me to come close to climax... now i realise im getting off the subject but maybe someone could shed some light on this??

[eightball61]

hey im new to this forum :) Ppl have been nice to me and i dont want to stir the pot, but why is it that just because a woman enjoys having that she's branded a nympho?... like i've been with my partner for 4 months and we are very serious but because i enjoy having and trying new things in the bedroom he calls me a nympho too... and says im never saticfied. Which isnt the exact case, he says i'm so good in bed and thats y he comes in about 5-10 mins which is NEVER enough time for me to come close to climax... now i realise im getting off the subject but maybe someone could shed some light on this??


I really wish I could help you out with this but it's tough getting in the mind of your partner. This does remind me of another male perspective on women.

Why is it when a female sleeps with a number of partners she is considered dirty or a slut? :confused:

When a male sleeps with a number of partners in double digits they are never called one of these names.......

I am a male myself and never once classified a female in one of these terms. My group of guy friends that I once hung out with used to talk this trash about women all the time. Many of them even made it a goal to either be with a girl that has had very little or still a virgin. These guys were out banging girls almost every night and not once they considered themselves dirty.:rolleyes:

I guess the only way to know these answers is to have a poster that has been in this situation before. It does seem unfair that women are characterized like this. It could be because there is so many bad names to classify a girl and there's so little bad names to classify a guy but whatever the answer is though I doubt it will go away.

Bevanluv, if you are not getting the pleasure you want in bed then talk to your man. I too had the same problem with getting off way to early and my Gf talked to me about it. Now, we spend more time in foreplay and I make sure she climaxes before I get my job done. Maybe your boyfriend can focus more on getting you off in foreplay first before he gets his deeds done.

Hope this helps some..lol :p

~8ball

[Diablo]

Bevanluv: It sounds like he quits once he's climaxed. There are a number of ways to get a woman to climax and it's selfish of a man just to quit because he has. It's a scientific fact that it takes a woman longer to climax. Start suggesting some other things he can do while little mister happy has become a waterspout. As for the original topic of this thread, she requested it, so it's okay. You can just not do anything too weird while you're getting accustomed to it. You should also be honest with the Florida girl. She'll find out sooner or later and it's better sooner than later.

[bevanluv]

i am thankfull for your insight on this dilema of mine. and just want to let u know i've tried several approaches to telling him that i need foreplay and to reach my climax concidering that he reaches his evertime. but because i may say this after he feels as if he hasnt performed well enough, which isnt really true. for me there is nothing better than 'making love' to someone you feel whole with and it does feel great and i do come close to 'cuming' but he always lets me down. and as hard as it is for him to understand and all... he need to see it on my page for once but i dont know how to... it always turns into fights and i dont want our life or 'lack of' life break up what i concider to be a really great r/ship... so can u help me find a way how to approach him with my problem as i dont want to hurt him or bring it up all the time... like im doing because he will get fed up and might either go else where, where he might get the gratatude he needs or just leave me all together! :(

[eightball61]

but because i may say this after he feels as if he hasnt performed well enough,


Next time don't bring this up right after . Bring this topic up durning the time of day you both normally don't have or you could wait till your on your period next(sorry for the detail). The goal is to only bring this up durning a time you both just didn't or will be having .

[ojmcduffie]

bevanluv - Why is she labeled a nympho? Because she admits she is one.

As for everyone else, it's 7:51am, I'm at work and I'm happy as a lark. Everything went spectacular last night. We ended up having a few drinks before we went to my house, therefore my nervousness went away rather quickly. Anyway, everything went so well, that I'm actually happy she suggested it to me, now I want to tie/handcuff her everytime we have . AMAZING
Thanks for all the advice!

[martin120db]

i am thankfull for your insight on this dilema of mine. and just want to let u know i've tried several approaches to telling him that i need foreplay and to reach my climax concidering that he reaches his evertime. but because i may say this after he feels as if he hasnt performed well enough, which isnt really true. for me there is nothing better than 'making love' to someone you feel whole with and it does feel great and i do come close to 'cuming' but he always lets me down. and as hard as it is for him to understand and all... he need to see it on my page for once but i dont know how to... it always turns into fights and i dont want our life or 'lack of' life break up what i concider to be a really great r/ship... so can u help me find a way how to approach him with my problem as i dont want to hurt him or bring it up all the time... like im doing because he will get fed up and might either go else where, where he might get the gratatude he needs or just leave me all together! :(


I do have to say that if you have discused this problem with him and you have not gotten a resolution in any form, this might not be the ual partner for you.

There are different things you can try but if he is unwilling to make the effort, and only is concerned with his own satisfaction, he really doesnt care about you or the way you feel. Nympho or not, you are not being satisfied and he is not taking responsability for your pleasure.

I hope that you can talk about this with him and that he understands. I really do, but since he is seeing it as an attack on his masculinity, and calling you names to try and distract you from his cuming to quickly, I dont think you are going to get very far.

Like eightballs said, dont bring it up right after coitus.

Suggestions: Tell him to wear a (if you guys are not, cuz it takes away sensitivity for men). Use lubes to make your insides more gliss, producing less friction making him last longer. Have him go down on you, and not for 5 or 6 minutes. I am talking till you finish. How ever long that may take. 15 to an hour tell him to suck till you die of dehyrdation.

If you want more suggestions just ask.

[Howard]

Why does he quit once he finishes climaxing? :confused:

[eightball61]

As for everyone else, it's 7:51am, I'm at work and I'm happy as a lark. Everything went spectacular last night. We ended up having a few drinks before we went to my house, therefore my nervousness went away rather quickly. Anyway, everything went so well, that I'm actually happy she suggested it to me, now I want to tie/handcuff her everytime we have . AMAZING
Thanks for all the advice!

I am glad to hear that everything went well last night for you both. I do hope this happiness continues but only time will tell. Remember, to be open & honest with her and the Florida girl about everything. You found happiness though so continue in this direction until you hit a roadblock.;)

Once again I wish you luck :)

~8ball

[bevanluv]

Why does he quit once he finishes climaxing? :confused:

Well he says that he works all wk long and he just too tired, and i'm a maniac and am never satified no matter what he does so he doesnt want to bother trying... i just dont understand his mantality... i parade around the house in y underware... start foreplay... and he will make any excuse to avoid me... we will have maybe 3 times a week if that.. i just dont think that is healthy.. or am i too demanding? See thats y we fight cos i've gain a bit of wieght since weve met, i think that he isnt attracted to me any more, but the only thing is that our life has been pretty much the same all this time... even when we were just dating we didnt have much ! He just dosent try in that department to.. spice things up.. its always the same.. and i mean ALWAYS. I bring it up outside the bedroom that i want to try different things and suggest doing somethings but he says that he wont do it because im bringing it up... if i left it be he would do it on his own accord... but when im quiet for a while it dont help either... i see it as lack of care.. and laziness! What do you guys think? Am i looking in to this too much or do i have a point?? please help im so worried this great relationship will end because of our bad life!

[Diablo]

It might. It sounds like he doesn't give a rip whether you are satisfied or not. He probably has no complaints about your life because he gets off. A guy who is like that about , more than likely will be that way about other things too.

[martin120db]

Well he says that he works all wk long and he just too tired, and i'm a maniac and am never satified no matter what he does so he doesnt want to bother trying... i just dont understand his mantality... i parade around the house in y underware... start foreplay... and he will make any excuse to avoid me... we will have maybe 3 times a week if that.. i just dont think that is healthy.. or am i too demanding? See thats y we fight cos i've gain a bit of wieght since weve met, i think that he isnt attracted to me any more, but the only thing is that our life has been pretty much the same all this time... even when we were just dating we didnt have much ! He just dosent try in that department to.. spice things up.. its always the same.. and i mean ALWAYS. I bring it up outside the bedroom that i want to try different things and suggest doing somethings but he says that he wont do it because im bringing it up... if i left it be he would do it on his own accord... but when im quiet for a while it dont help either... i see it as lack of care.. and laziness! What do you guys think? Am i looking in to this too much or do i have a point?? please help im so worried this great relationship will end because of our bad life!

Like I said before, if he is not going to make an effort, then why are you? You have a really bad relationship. He uses your body to get what he wants then puts you down for wanting the same thing of him. it is a two way street. Give and take and all he is doing is taking, your body, your self esteem. It should feel good to give to the other person in your life cuz you know that they enjoy giving back to you. This is abusive, the way he is treating you.

If you dont like it get out.

[eightball61]

You do need to see this as a "red flag". Remember, you both have been only together for 4 months but then you both are acting as if you been togther for 2 years. His laziness could define that this is the real him. He has shown very little effort to change nor to please you. I really doubt he may change but then again you never know. Maybe you should set a time limit and if there is no change then you know this is how things will forever be.

[Howard]

Maybe you could stay away from having for a little while right now if he's way too tired.