fiancee maybe cheating help advice

[thisismylife77]

Hi, i'm new to this forum but i need some advice. I've been engaged since January. I love my finance very much and we're due to be married this may. Well just this last week he met this girl online. He's been chating with her and spending more time online with her than me. When I ask him about her he gets defensive. He won't let me sit next to her while he's chating let alone walk by. I know he hasn't told her about me . He's leading her on to believe that there could be more and to me if feels like he's cheating on me. What should I do. I love him and I don't want to lose him to some other girl from online. It hurts to even think he would place some other girl first. He says that they're just friends but yet he calls her all kinds of pet names. And he's been acting so different. He doesn't hug and kiss me like he use to. It's like all his attention is on her. Then he told me yesterday that he wants us to move to Fl where she's from. He says it's not for her but why should I believe him? Then all of a sudden he's getting cold feet and when asked if it was because of her he never answered me. What can I do. I need help. I'm not losing my fiance to some 18 year old slut on the net. Please help !!!! :mad: :mad:

[eightball61]

I'm not losing my fiance to some 18 year old slut on the net. Please help !!!! :mad: :mad:

Is she really 18???

Do you think if he did stop talking to her that you won't have any insecurities because of this?

Is it worth marrying a cheater?

Do you want to marry someone that you can't trust or aren't hapy with?

If he had nothing to hide then he wouldn't be acting like this. I am willing to believe that he has an online affair going on. It's not your fault that you are suspecting this because he is not helping you out by showing what he is really doing. Things will only get worse though and this is why you need to figure out how much his lies are worth to stay with him.

[thisismylife77]

yes she is supposly 18 and he's 23.

If they stopped talking i'd be more than happy .

That or include me in on what they're talking about. I shouldn't have to snoop to be in his life. After all I'm the fiance not her. I would like to tell her but if i tell her the truth then she'll tell him and it'll come back to me.

And yes I love him this much I don't want to leave but I don't know how to get him to see what he's doing is wrong.

[eightball61]

If they stopped talking i'd be more than happy .




But will your insecurities be relaxed?

Your BF as broken the trust in the relationship by not showing you what his actions are over the internet. You both should be working towards the future. You can't do this yourself and he needs to pull his weight in the relationship. Don't ingore whats going on here because you don't want to leave him. The truth is he is doing something sneaky and he needs to face the reality or your gone.

[Diablo]

Seperately, the things he's doing don't mean much. Added together, they are a strong indicator that he's having an Internet affair. Any problem you have with a man before you marry him will only get worse after you do. If you're sure he's having an affair, you should give him the boot. You got along fine before you met him and can get along fine once he's gone. Having lovers and friends is all good and fine, but if people are going to have more than one lover, they have no business getting married.

[ivy]

Hi, i'm new to this forum but i need some advice. I've been engaged since January. I love my finance very much and we're due to be married this may. Well just this last week he met this girl online. He's been chating with her and spending more time online with her than me. When I ask him about her he gets defensive. He won't let me sit next to her while he's chating let alone walk by. I know he hasn't told her about me . He's leading her on to believe that there could be more and to me if feels like he's cheating on me. What should I do. I love him and I don't want to lose him to some other girl from online. It hurts to even think he would place some other girl first. He says that they're just friends but yet he calls her all kinds of pet names. And he's been acting so different. He doesn't hug and kiss me like he use to. It's like all his attention is on her. Then he told me yesterday that he wants us to move to Fl where she's from. He says it's not for her but why should I believe him? Then all of a sudden he's getting cold feet and when asked if it was because of her he never answered me. What can I do. I need help. I'm not losing my fiance to some 18 year old slut on the net. Please help !!!! :mad: :mad:


Why do you think she is a slut? What would you call him? You don't think she knows about you so if that is the case she doesn't know he has someone in his life. It does not sound good for you two, you should move on and for sure not move to Fl. with him!

[Mattey]

1) She doesnt know about you at all.

2) She not real, ie pretending to be someone else just for the thrill of it and will probably drop him hard.

3) He feels there are problems or stress in your relationship, he talks to her about it and feels closer to her, so he turns his attentions to her even though she may not be interested.

The two of you are engaged.... so there has to be something worth while in this relationship.
Internet friends/relationships are always much better in fantasy than in reality, that fantasy is addictive....

The more you poke into this and act offish with him the more he'll pull away from you and the worse this will get.

Try to be your normal self and try to find ways to get him away from this person, make your relationship more appealing. He needs a slap with the good old "reality stick" for a few days, in my opinion.

[topshelf79]

I'm not sure the guy mentioned he's engaged (kinda glossed over the posts) In any event I wouldn't worry unless their relationship escalates.