I'm miserable! Help me!

[coolguy05]

Hey everyone! Been absent from this forum for a bit, glad to see it still has life on it! Anyways heres my depressing tale for this month!

A month or two earlier I posted how my ex left me for another guy, and I got some very helpful responses (Thank you again!) Life is going on for me, and i was slowly travelling the road to recovery, till well, today!

Since my ex, I tried meeting new woman. Trying to get a date, meet someone new, you know, get back in the dateing seen. I, unfortunatly, am now sitting here infront of my computer typing this post, eating down a bag of chips and a bowl of icecream, swimming, in my self pity, haha.

Not 1, not 2, but three times have I been turned down. "Your nice but just not my type"
"I just like someone else right now, I'm sorry"
"Your like a borther to me! really! I'm sorry"

Once is ok, 2 even, but now I just feel ugly, haha. I'm losing confidence! My last gf, I just felt so confident, you know? I'm sure everyone has had that feeling. "Oh look at my pretty girlfriend, we are so cute together!" u know kinda thing? I dunno, just a couple months and not even anyone interested, i can't help but feel like, no good? Its like shes going on with this guy, feeling great, while i, instead of getting happier, i've suddenly just lately entered this sad pit again. and suddenly its like "whoa so far, now depressed over yer ex again?"

I just got to thinking today. I'm trying to keep busy ya, of course i have! But I couldn't help it, and I just thought of things, and in short I got upset a bit today and was just really sad and bawling. i felt like I had to talk to her again, because she was my best friend, so mr.smarty pants here called her. As i said in my earlier thread, I'm not permitted to talk to her do to events that unfolded, i guess i just hoped she would pick up. Of course she didn't, her dad let out a inquiring "uh hello? hello?" i said nothing and hung up, of course feeling stupid after. Why did i do that? i don't know. I feel liek I need someone, like shes having fun becasue shes in a relationship and I'm not. I feel like I want to talk to her again, be friends, though her parents don't permit it. Maybe just because I'm alone, I don't know! All i know is i hate feeling this way people!

Its been a month or so since we talked, I used to work with her but I quit the job, not just because of her but because schools comming and i have to get down and study hard this year. Anyways, i just feel alone, like I'll never have what i had again, I put so much effort into it! i feel like shes not being fair, like her family isn't even being fair by not even talking to me! Like i can't even get a date, and if i do it won't be the same like her, you know? i dunno, maybe someone can just give their suggestions or adivce? i got fantastic replies and advice last time from people whom names i unfortunatly forgotten but whoms advice i have not forgotten none whatsoever.

thanks to people at this forum who read and reply, i really appreciate it, as i'm sure many others do. Anyways i'm lonely and depressed! what are some dating tips!? why am i calling my ex!? should i even try!? haha thanks a bunch everyone, i love all of you! ahah

Peace.

[greeneyedgirl23]

Well, first of all, do you go to the same school? Are the two of you in high school or college?

I think that you should spend time with your friends and try to keep her off of your mind. If you do go to the same school, remember that school will be starting again soon, and if you are in high school, you will probably run into her on campus.

If she isn't able to be a friend to you, then you probably don't need her anyway. Of course it is hard to break out of a relationship, and it will take time to start to let go. The old saying goes that it takes about 6 months to get over every year you are with someone, but everyone is different.

Do you play sports? You should focus on making yourself happy right now. Who cares about her new boyfriend, chances are they won't amount to anything serious if he is a rebound for her.

As for dating girls... don't try so hard, when you are out with your buddies, meet some new girls to hangout with and you could end up with a new interest in a more casual way than putting yourself out there, if that is what you are having a hard time with. Have fun!! Don't let her play games or hurt you anymore.

keep me posted! :)

[eightball61]

You have been taking the right steps on trying to move on. Right now you are getting impatient because nothing moving on fast enough for you. The worse thing you want is to rush yourself in moving on. Allow nature to take its course here and eventually things will go your way.....So hang in there ;)

[Rich]

You want her because you're lonely. Once you find someone else, you'll not "need" her company.

Don't get discouraged. Keep asking girls out, you'll succeed.

I'd rather ask out 10 and be turned down 9 times for a 10% success rate, rather than ask out 3 and get shot down all 3 times for a 0% rate. Then the more that you ask out, the more you'll date. At a 10% success rate, if you ask out 100 girls, then you're dating 10 of them.

Bottom line is to not give up.

I would say to try the personals, but you're in college and those folks are looking for a longer term thing which you shouldn't be getting into right now with school.

Do what the other people advised. Go to a gym. Play sports. Join a church group. Believe it or not the people in those groups have daughters that they would love to set up with a nice church going guy. wink wink.

[coolguy05]

I love comming online and seeing concerned people post replies to my thread! Thank you so much! I doubt you people know HOW much I appreciate this stuff! Thanks!

Anyways ya, as you were saying Greeneyedgirl I do TRY to keep busy. I run long distance, play guitar, I work on stop animation projects, hang with my friends, and try to go swimming alot, and during those times I usually feel pretty good, just lately I just felt like my life is still entering a puddle of mud, and with each day I'm getting deeper in it! Haha well not that bad but, you get my point.

No we don't go to the same shool, but she lives ridiculously close to me, not even 2 minute walk. I know maybe I',m better without her, but I think, I THINK that i still just wanna be her friend? Because while I have guy friends, and I am happy for that, none of them listened when you know, I had problems? they just kinda said suck it up kinda stuff? My ex listened, and after we broke up she still continued too, till I got insanely jealous and pulled my crazy stunt.

Eightball, you said I want things to go faster, haha actually ya I do feel that way. I try not to try HARD, and I don't think I do.. but I just want someone to like me like she did. I feel like I'll never have that again? Maybe I am impatient but it sucks poo poo face!!! Haha

And Rich I must say your tactic on dateing is interesting, haha but I'm shy too and I don't know if I could ask 10 girls out real fast!! No I don't need her compnay, but I still feel like I'm missing something without her even around? haha i hate this like you guys woulkdn't believe! haha

Thank you guys, of course I'll continue to do what I'm doing, maybe try some of your suggestions, but without a doubt, its still rough. She affected my life so much, and things like "friends no matter what" and "we'll always be there for each other", stuff of that sort we said to each other right now ring high in my mind, overtaking other thoughts that in which I should be concentrating. It just feels so unfair, like why did I deserve this? Why did this happen i nthis first place? Could my actions have changed something? doesshe even feel sorry? does she even wanna be my friend? well i even talk to her again? maybe it al lis cause i'm just lonely!! I'll try your guys tactics, or better just as eightball said, let things go. its hard but I try! haha feel sorry for me!! haha no don't but thank you again guys! any more info greatly appreciated.

Peace.

[bambooo]

I don't know how old you are but let me give you some advice from my past relationship. I was with my ex for almost 5 yrs. Since I was 21-22 yrs old. I haven't been in a relationship for 3 yrs. I'm 29 now. This is what I can tell you. This may be hard to do because its hard for me. Don't try and jump back into a relationship until you're over your ex. The reason why you're starting to feel insecure about yourself is because you felt rejected by your ex and by those other girls. You want someone to validate you. You don't need to have anyone make you feel validated because you suppose to feel like that anyway. I know you mentioned that you keep yourself busy which is good but slow down and take sometime out to heal and grieve. You'll be ok. Sorry to tell you this but is not going to get easier. Love will come and go. Remember its an experience and experience is the greatest teacher. This is to everybody ready this thread: You have to go through the drama, the game playing and the rejections because by experiencing those extremes eventually you'll get tired of the B.S. and be more selectful in a mate. Possibly find true love.

I hope this is helpfull :)

[kw1202]

Hang in there, things will get better. When you stop looking and you least expect it someone will come along.

I read this quote from another forum that I go to sometimes and this is very good advice.

"..."YOU CAN GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE" Your life is your's. Don't ever....ever let anyone bring you down because you were somebody BEFORE you met your ex. You were happy, confident and fun. you can be again with the right attitude and common sense. Relax....take a deep breath and make tomorrow different from today" "


Keep your head up :)