Any advice

[april]

Well this is my first post here so sorry if it is depressing.
I've just been though a really bad breakup which I'm still trying to recover from. It dragged out for months and I stuck by him but he left in the end. I'm very angry and depressed at the moment.

After a year of being in a loveless relationship I want to meet new people but don't know how anymore. I really like this guy at work but I can't tell if he is interested. He knows I've just been though a breakup so maybe thats put him off. He's really sweet but I can't tell if he is just sweet to everyone. Also he comes from a different culture. Everytime I'm around him I don't know what to say.
I don't know if its worth going after because it is work and imagine how stupid I would feel to get turned down also my self esteem is a bit in shatters at the moment.
any advice would be appreciated.

[eightball61]

First ask yourself this:


"Am I "ready" for a new relatinship?"

[april]

I didn't say I want a new relationship, maybe just someone to have fun with.

[eightball61]

Are you "ready" for the fun?

I ask you these questions because something inside of you is holding you back from proceeding onto these new things.

[april]

My ex gave me no affection for a long time and made me feel like I wasn't worth it. I hoped it would work out for a long time.
So yes after that I am ready for fun.

[eightball61]

So yes after that I am ready for fun.


Then you know what you need to do.......

You need to stop holding back and go for the opportunities while they are exist. The more you hold back the more you chance losing out. The power is in you............ ;)

[Diablo]

What's the worst thing he can do? He can say no. That is no big deal. A big deal would being married 15-20 years and one day your spouse files for divorce. That would be a big thing, but getting shot down on some sort of first invitation? No biggie. Invite him out for some sort of date, or even to coffee. Just something to get the ball rolling. The ball will never roll unless you do something.

[Howard]

Good Luck with this new guy April.I hope things work well in your favor. :)

[Girl]

You have self esteem issues. Work on those first.

[Howard]

You could invite him to go out to a cafe for a bite to eat with him and then you could strike up a conversation when it happens.

[coolguy05]

Isn't life tough April? I know I think it is! I am going through something very similar April. I know its hard to meet new people, but right from the text I read from responses to my threads right here, I was told to not give up, and to hang in there. becasue really, thats all we can do! My advice, go for the guy, he turns you down? His lose, now you can move your eyes to someone else, and so forth. Not that you must be in a relationship, but don't give up neither.

Just do what makes you happy, enjoy yourself, spend time with friends and don't rush a new relationship. Times fixes everything, whether we liek it or not actually! Its just none of us like to wait.

[april]

Thanks for the advice. I decided not to. I don't feel like been rejected again and I figured if he liked me he would have made a move by now. Anyway he reminds me to much of my ex.
Just feeling depressed at the moment I need to sort myself out.

[eightball61]

Just feeling depressed at the moment I need to sort myself out.

See there is something holding you back. What's holding you back is the fact that you not ready to move on or your just not allowing yourself to move on.

You need to understand that the more you hold back and waiting for people to approach you the more you will lose out. Dating can be a very fustrating process but it can be very rewarding when your with someone that you connect well with.

You are right though and you need to work on "you" at the moment. When you feel comfortable enough to move on then make that move without second guessing. If you continue to second guess things then it's only going to hold you back and you'll once again lose out.