Hmmm

[biggunsrus]

I have a friend that im absolutely crazy about and we hang out alot and we ALWAYS have a fun time. I have known her for about 8 years and just recently realized im falling for this girl. Lately she has given me a hug when we would leave each other (which she would never do before) and i think shes bing kind of flirty towards me. She always talks about how she wants to get married but she will never find anyone that treats her good and so on. BUT, she talks about other guys in front of me (which i dont think she would do if she was interested but I may be wrong on that one).

So...do i say something or not? I really like hanging out with her and im worried that if i say something and she doesnt feel the same...she might not want to hang out anymore. So do i just leave well enough alone or should i go for it? What would i even say?

Thank You!

[Butterfly]

Hiya, i read ur post and i just want to make sure u know that the best lovers are usually the ones who started out as friends without even having ual feelings towards eachother as opposed to ppl usually do when they meet a hot girl. This is kinda of how my bf and i started out, friends and i had no intention or even the slightest thought that i was ever gonna be his girl. i used to give him the occassional hug and when things went abit further i flirted with him innocently. i'll tell u what u should do, kiss her. that'll be (1) much easier than all the chit chat of explaining to her that u have feelings for her. (2) make sure its mutual, dont force it. when u talk to her about a soothing subject get "innocently close" to her face, and see how she responds. backing off means she might not be ready.
Plus as a girl, ill tell u that i did try to play hard to get with my bf b4 we started dating, and talked about other guys to him. he did the same, he talked about girls and honestly that DROVE ME MAD. i even ignored him. check out these few signs to see if she has a slight interst in u. 1-she dresses up with a lot more effort when u tell her that u guys r just out to get coffee. 2-perfume. 3-eye make up (trust me this stuff takes ages to put on, so if she does start putting it on that means shes putting more effort into herself b4 seeing u. )

since u say that u guys have fun, keep at it. and try to have more of it. do stuff u both like so u can spend more time with eachother. and if u do end up kissing her (*must be sober*) , go on a date. and be creative, no movie and dinner. go treat her and urself to a day in the spa, and no roses (* boring*) get her something like lillies, or pick something u think is nice.

do keep me updated and if ur still confused or just need to ask me anything, im here :cool:

butterfly

[biggunsrus]

Hiya, i read ur post and i just want to make sure u know that the best lovers are usually the ones who started out as friends without even having ual feelings towards eachother as opposed to ppl usually do when they meet a hot girl. This is kinda of how my bf and i started out, friends and i had no intention or even the slightest thought that i was ever gonna be his girl. i used to give him the occassional hug and when things went abit further i flirted with him innocently. i'll tell u what u should do, kiss her. that'll be (1) much easier than all the chit chat of explaining to her that u have feelings for her. (2) make sure its mutual, dont force it. when u talk to her about a soothing subject get "innocently close" to her face, and see how she responds. backing off means she might not be ready.
Plus as a girl, ill tell u that i did try to play hard to get with my bf b4 we started dating, and talked about other guys to him. he did the same, he talked about girls and honestly that DROVE ME MAD. i even ignored him. check out these few signs to see if she has a slight interst in u. 1-she dresses up with a lot more effort when u tell her that u guys r just out to get coffee. 2-perfume. 3-eye make up (trust me this stuff takes ages to put on, so if she does start putting it on that means shes putting more effort into herself b4 seeing u. )

since u say that u guys have fun, keep at it. and try to have more of it. do stuff u both like so u can spend more time with eachother. and if u do end up kissing her (*must be sober*) , go on a date. and be creative, no movie and dinner. go treat her and urself to a day in the spa, and no roses (* boring*) get her something like lillies, or pick something u think is nice.

do keep me updated and if ur still confused or just need to ask me anything, im here :cool:

butterfly

well...the other night she came to my softball game and then over to my place after that and she had a headache so i rubbed her head for about an hour! my hands got sore but its all good. She said she needs to come to one of my hockey games sometime too. then she asked me if i would walk her out so she didnt get killed or anything so i did. then she said "give me a hug" before she left. When she was lying on my bed I wanted to kiss her SOOOOOO bad but I was afraid of the consequences. I have been trying to be a little more touchy feely with her lately to see how she would respond and i havent seen any negative responses...she basically does it back. She's kind of a flirty girl though so i dunno. She works tonight so Im debating on going to where she works (at a mall) but i dunno how she would react to that. She also sings at a church Sunday mornings and she said I should go with her sometime. So yeah...i dunno.

[Butterfly]

SHES SOOOOOO INTO U, flirty or not. give it a shot like i explained above. its up to u once u have her to make it last or not. goodluck.

[biggunsrus]

hmmm..well...she said before that shes not into bodybuilder type guys (which i am). and there have been a few times where she said she was gonna call me but she never did...she said she forgot. If she was into me she wouldnt forget would she?

BTW...thanks for the replies...youre awesome!

[Butterfly]

Thanx. Anyways, try to b positive and if she did forget or "forget". if u know what i mean, do take it easy, ur not 16 anymore. Butterfly

[biggunsrus]

hey...so i just got home. i stopped and said hi to girl A (the one i like) at the mall where she works and another girl (who we will call girl b)were working there. Then I asked girl A if she wanted to go eat b/c i was hungry and she said she wasnt hungry but she would come with but she had to finish cleaning up the store so i just went to best buy and told her to call me. She walked with me to the front of the store and she goes "Should I set you up with (girl B)?" Im just like "eh." So she called me and said that girl B (the girl she was working with) was coming too and I said that was fine. Then we all ate and had fun. The two of them might come to my softball game on Sunday. Then i just got a text message on my phone from girl A and she asked when I was going to take girl B out on a date. I replied with "hmmm...i dunno about that one." She came back with "Y not...shes cute and super sweet so why not??" Then i said "Ill tell you later." and she hasnt written back yet. I probably just blew my cover huh? Oh well...the funny thing is girl A said she had a dream last night that she got flowers at work and I was debating on bringing her some...but i didnt b/c i figured that would be too cheesy for this stage of the game.

So anyways....that was 2 times tonight girl A asked if I want to be hooked up with girl B. Do you still think girl A is into me? I mean...dont get me wrong...girl B is a cutie and she does seem pretty cool and if i wasnt crazy about girl B I would have said yes in a heartbeat. just got a text message...gotta check it! Ok...girl A said "For reals y not give her a chance 4 me please." Doesnt sound like girl A is too into me! UGH!!! So what do i do? Do i go out with this girl who is really cute and seems pretty cool...or do i still go after girl A and maybe end up with neither one of them? Man...this sux!!!! Thanks for any input and I hope to hear from you soon!!!

ok...girl A just sent me another message saying "ok fine dont tell me. but u r taking her out!"
what do u make of this? should i take this girl out? i have a feeling that if i do...i may not be able to go out w/ girl A ever...am i wrong in that?
Sorry for the loooooooooong post!

[Butterfly]

Since I’m not a guy, my bf helped me out here so this is what we both thought, I wrote mine in my usual magenta colour and my habiby (“habiby” means sweet heart in my language) wrote it in blue to make life easier on u, u can post ur reply like u usually do on butterfly and we’ll both read it. Address it to ahmed if u wanna say something to my baby and butterfly to me:

DO NOT go out with girl B. This is ur chance, where u’ll either get girl A or not depending on “asking out technique”. Call girl A and tell her that u don’t want to ask girl B out since u have ur eyes on this (use whatever adjectives appropriate ) beautiful, funny and extremely y girl* that ur planning to ask out (girl* being girl A). then girl A would most probably say something like “ and who is sheeeee? Do I know her?” and u can answer her with something like “ meet me up at so and so , and ill show u her from afar so u can die of envy” or “so u can tell me what u think”.

Scenario 1: Then u and girl A meet up somewhere and take her to a mirror somewhere and say something like “look at how beautiful her eyes are”, this is where it’ll slap her in the face that ur talking about her. Then u know the rest.

Scenario 2: u and girl A meet up somewhere and when she asks “so where is she?” u say something like “ beautiful, genuine girl, shes right here in this café” and shell say “wheeeeeeeeeeree?” and u’ll say having eye contact “im looking right at her”.

1.be confident but don’t mistake that with arrogance or being too full of urself.
2. girls loooooooove guys who sweet talk them and make ‘em feel beautiful and very much wanted.

biggunsrus i hope everything is cool with you, other than this problem, but here is a guys prospective of things.
1- about girl B, if you go out with her you've definately ruined it with girl A, not even if your doing her a favour, see the thing is no matter what, girl B is in contact with girl A, and if you do go out with her shes going to tell girl A all the details. This will obviously ruin all possible chances with u and girl A. In the end, girl A will be the “relationship councillor” for girl B and you since she was the one who set u guys up.
2- For girl A i know that your into her since you've come on the forum and to obviously to look for help and advice to be with her. You have to keep it cool, otherwise she's gonna push back and she’ll end up being a bit cluster phobic. Dude, it happens to all of us, and especially the best of us.
When i wanted to approach my girlfriend, what i kept in mind is that in our current relationship at the time, we are friends and no matter what (basically if i dont mess up) i wont loose what we have. What i am basically trying to say is maintain that relationship with her, and the inevitable will kick in. you guys are around each other, you are to some extent on constant contact, all that is against you right now is time, and that will kick in sooner or later.
What my advice to you is right now, find some way out of this date with girl B whether you have to say that you are not into her, or whatever the reason may be. Although this might upset girl A the plus side is that you maintain the relationship with girl A, and you dont loose what you have. With regards to girl A, just keep it cool make sure that when you blow her friend off to keep it cool with girl A. itll work out with the girl you want just take your time and take it slow, everything will go your way. take it easy buddy .GoodLuck.

so let us know what happens ya.

[biggunsrus]

ok...so sunday night girl A brought girl B to my softball game and we went for ice cream after that and just went home. then i textd girl a to see how long she was gonna be up that night and if she wanted some company and she said "youre always welcome over here" so i went over there and we just talked until 1:30 am...i wanted to tell her what was on my mind but i wussed out. Then monday we were talking on msn messenger and i was telling her about this girl who is just awesome and so on and so fourth and she was asking who she is, what she looks like and that stuff...so i just described girl a to herself but i changed a couple things so it wouldnt be too obvious. I tried to get her to go for a walk but she was really tired so we didnt. So yesterday she was going to hang w/ her ex-boyfriend so i wanted to tell her how i felt before that so i delivered flowers and a card that said "You remember that very beautiful, smart and funny girl that i was talking about last night? Its you!"

I just got a text message from her and she said "hey thanks for the flowers but we need to talk." (which doesnt sound good!) I said..."Ok lets talk" and she said "i dunno if its something we should talk about in person or what?" so i replied with "do you want to come for an early dinner at my place tonight?" she has to work but she might come to my softball game. doesnt sound too promising though :(