How patient should I be?

[singlesue]

Yes it has been sometime since I last dated and seem to have forgotten what it is like. About a month ago I met a nice man. We both agree we would like to get to know each other more. The problem is that we seldom get to see each other. We have had the opportunity to get together twice in this time frame. We only live less than 60 miles apart. Things seem to be going great otherwise. We talk on the phone at least every other day if not daily. He reassures me that his schedule was booked before we met and that soon things will quiet down to where he will have more free time to spend with me. Part of me wants to just let go and move on but also the other part of me thinks I should start being a little more patient and hang in there a while longer to see what will happen and appreciate the friendship we are establishing.

Am I being too impatient? Should I be seeing this as a red flag? Or is this just what one would call a slow moving relationship?

[Faol]

My people say: "far from eyes, far from heart". More you'll be with him, more you'll be wanting him. It's normal but you'll suffer because you'll get more impatient. It sweet in the beginning but magic disapears quickly...

[hotblonde]

Your first instincts are usually the right ones

[falisatee]

Well, I don't have the best advice but I will tell you I am in a similar situation. I am deeply in love with a man that lives on 15 minutes away from me. We work for the same company, but our lives keep us away from each other. There is always something that gets in the way. However, some rather crappy events recently took place that separated us completely for over 3 months. There was ZERO contact. It really sucked. And one day we just wondered back into each others lives. So, I guess what I am saying is no matter what gets in the way or happens or how much you talk or see each other if you were meant to be together you will be. Don't cause yourself any undo stress. If what you have is good embrace it.

[Rich]

If the man was deeply, deeply interested in you, he would make it his business to come see you or to move the relationship.

Obviously he has other things to do and can risk you finding someone else while he does his thing.

You can keep a poker in that fire but I'd keep moving on and wouldn't turn down other overtures if they came along.

Don't force. Just go with the flow. Always trust your inner voice / guide / angel.

Rich

[falisatee]

I wonder if it just makes people feel better to push their negative views off on other people. I mean is everything in life crap. One time something can't be great, it can't work out. Patience and understanding isn't going to pay off? If that is the case then what is the point of anything? Is it so hard for a person to be happy that someone else my have found happiness? Why do we go out of our ways to shoot everything down rather than help one another find happiness? We all have doubts in everything we do. Don't let it control your life. Go after the things in life that you want. Don't let anything or anyone hold you back.

[Rich]

Falisatee-

I'm scratching my head. Was that post meant towards me? :confused:

Thanks,

Rich

[Ladyvelvet1]

I'm in the same suitation, and my boyfriend lives almost 200 miles away. His JOB consumes 150% of his time and we never see eachother or talk to eachother. Sometimes, when I do talk to him, he falls alseep on the phone. I have not seen him in over a month and I'm just really fed up at this point. I told myself a thousand times to just break it off, but I love him. But I think that I'm going to draw the line and just call it quits. I honestly feel that he is not deeply interested in me anyways. :mad:

[bettyboobs]

I believe that if there something that you really want, you'll make time for it. I also believe that it has nothing to do with patients, but everything to do with having all the attention and loving at every moment you want it. Life is too short to wonder about one man who can't figure it out.

[Rich]

Have you ever noticed that in nature and on this planet, that most often times that the most beautiful of things are the most simplistic. They're easy, natural, unforced and simple.

We, as humans, most often feel a need to try to fit square pegs into round holes. That when something doesn't fit, we FORCE it to fit regardless. And that goes for our relationships as well.

I feel that we need to take a que from nature and find relationships that are easy, natural, simple and beautiful. That we shouldn't force relationships or people to be something that they're not.

If you've truly found your "soul mate" then you should both have the same core thoughts, feelings and intrinsic minset that puts you on the same page without effort. That because you both have the same mindset, that you're relationship just flows.

Of course all relationships need to be tweaked periodically to make them better, but IMO there shouldn't be all this massive people and personality changing that constantly takes place in order to be temporarily happy.

And I say temporarily happy because it's nature (human) for someone or something to revert back to it's natural form. People are who they are and who they will always be. You don't take anywhere from 20 to 40 years of upbringing and a certain mindset and then expect that to change. It's the rare case when someone can undergo a total personality change.

So, the bottom line is to find a relationship that flows and that is easy. That if you're constantly finding yourself fitting square pegs into round holes, that maybe you should look for another relationship.

Don't force, just let it be. I'm in a relationship now that is what I describe and it's sooooo nice to not be on egg shells, or constantly worried, or thinking, or nervous, or all those other things. It's a beautiful thing if you can find it so don't settle and don't give up.