I need major advice!!

[jm1981]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and we have been living together for 2 years. I love him to death and I feel that I'm ready to get married. Apparently, he's not as ready as I am. My problem is that I've been to 6 weddings this year and I've been in one of them. I don't know if going to all of these weddings has made me feel that I have to get married to be happy. We have a great relationship and I don't want to ruin it by feeling frustrated that he hasn't popped the question yet. I know that it will happen eventually. I just don't know how to deal with the fact that we've been dating for so long and he still hasn't asked me!

[eightball61]

Your options:

1. You can to talk to him about how you feel and where you like to see the relationship go.

2. Give it more time and if nothing goes further then maybe you need to move on.

3. You could propose to him....


You need to also find out (from him) where he likes to see this relationship go. You also need take a look (or find out) at what may be holding him back. There could be some goals he's looking to achieve before he proposes to you.

All these conversations though should be held with him. Ask him these questions in a laid back scenery like a coffee house or something. These weddings may be triggering your thoughts of wanting more but you both have been together for sometime and now you are ready for the next level of this relationship. So with that said it's time for the talk.....

[Romantic47]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and we have been living together for 2 years. I love him to death and I feel that I'm ready to get married. Apparently, he's not as ready as I am. My problem is that I've been to 6 weddings this year and I've been in one of them. I don't know if going to all of these weddings has made me feel that I have to get married to be happy. We have a great relationship and I don't want to ruin it by feeling frustrated that he hasn't popped the question yet. I know that it will happen eventually. I just don't know how to deal with the fact that we've been dating for so long and he still hasn't asked me!

Relax Sweetie! Are you guys happy together? What makes you think that you'll be happier when you're married? Or is it just the idea of the "big day"? Don't forget that's only a few hours - marriage is for a lifetime (or supposed to be) Enjoy, appreciate and be happy! Your day WILL come :)

[Howard]

You could talk to him and ask your boyfriend about marriage and if you feel you both are ready to pop the question.Good Luck and take deep breaths. :)

[Diablo]

He's probably happy with the way things are. If you are too except for wanting a ring, then bring it up, but if he reacts defensively, don't make an issue of it. These days you can do almost everything without being married and marriage is overrated anyway.

[yourstruly]

I agree with marriage being overrated, except of course, if you want to have children. But when a couple decides to have children, the relationship needs to be rock solid as no one wants to raise kids in a broken home.

I do think that all the weddings you've gone to has you "marriage happy". But that's only natural.

Have you two discussed marriage at all? If you haven't, maybe it's time to discuss it. Nothings stopping you from discussing it, is there?

At any rate, you need to be discussing this with him, not us :)

[Howard]

What are your fears about getting married to him?

[Girl]

Happiness doesn't come in the form of a marriage certificate. And it certainly doesn't define a relationship.

[jm1981]

I want to thank everyone who replied for all of your advice! I have talked to him in the past and he knows that I do want to be married and he has told me that we will get married eventually. After thinking about it for a while, I really think that all I want is the wedding. I've been going to so many weddings lately that all it's done is filled my head with how I'm going to plan my big day!!! I'm really happy with our relationship and I've decided that I'm not going to worry about IT anymore! Thanks again to all of you!!!

[Romantic47]

Good for You! Enjoy this wonderful love and be happy! :)

[Howard]

You're Welcome JM and good luck. :)