situation

[Howard]

I went back once again to follow up on my employment status at Burlington Coat Factory today and I said my name at the front desk and I said that I would like to follow up again on my job status.I went to talk to the manager Fred and he said that he claims that the papers didn't come in yet and I said that I swear that someone behind the desk last week told me that the lab results came in.The he told me,We will call you as soon as We get the results.Something is very fishy around here.I will wait till now till the end of the month of November and If I don't hear from Burlington Coat Factory,Screw it!What do you guys think I should do about this situation? :confused:


Do you guys think that they will call me for employment anytime this month and do you also think I will be hired once I have a background check? :confused:

[eightball61]

You should continue to apply for other jobs while waiting.

[yourstruly]

when looking for employment is to not put "all my eggs in one basket', meaning, just cuz something looks promising, don't wait around on that one job, get out there and also apply for others. It's a numbers game. You will get 10 no's before you get even one yes for an interview. And even then, once you have that interview, it's a waiting game. But if you apply for a LOT of jobs, your chances are greater. Christmas is coming up, so now's the time to look! Your chances are even greater now because 'tis the season!!! Good luck Howard!

[Howard]

when looking for employment is to not put "all my eggs in one basket', meaning, just cuz something looks promising, don't wait around on that one job, get out there and also apply for others. It's a numbers game. You will get 10 no's before you get even one yes for an interview. And even then, once you have that interview, it's a waiting game. But if you apply for a LOT of jobs, your chances are greater. Christmas is coming up, so now's the time to look! Your chances are even greater now because 'tis the season!!! Good luck Howard!


Thanks Truly.I don't know much about the working world since I haven't worked in about 11 years but I have been pretty active and I do volunteer 2 days a week & I've been volunteering altogether for the past 10 years.

So What I'll do is I'll let my Job Coach who works with people with disabilities find jobs in their community and if Burlington Coat Factory contacts me before the month of November is up,I can tell him that they called me so he can put a stop to the job search for me and I'll say thank you for your help.I can still keep in contact with my Job Coach whenever I have any problems that arise in the workplace. :)

[Howard]

You should continue to apply for other jobs while waiting.


That's what I've been doing in the meantime.

[eightball61]

So What I'll do is I'll let my Job Coach who works with people with disabilities find jobs in their community

^^That sounds like a good idea, Howard. Has your job coach been helping you out all along or have you been applying for jobs by yourself?

[Howard]

^^That sounds like a good idea, Howard. Has your job coach been helping you out all along or have you been applying for jobs by yourself?


Well,He's Just started with me a few weeks ago.Right Now,I'm just filling out fake job applications to show him next week.He just wants to know what I'm good at and where do I want to work in m area which is New York City.He also wants me to keep him updated with Burlington Coat Factory and the progress I've been making.If I really want this job badly,I'm going to start to be aggressive.I've taken enough from shit people,It's time I've did something about it! ;)

I've been applying for jobs on my own but he says I should stop applying and have him help me.I hope he can help me before my relationship crumbles before January. :( Let's see how good he does.

[Howard]

^^That sounds like a good idea, Howard. Has your job coach been helping you out all along or have you been applying for jobs by yourself?


Well,He's Just started with me a few weeks ago.Right Now,I'm just filling out fake job applications to show him next week.He just wants to know what I'm good at and where do I want to work in m area which is New York City.He also wants me to keep him updated with Burlington Coat Factory and the progress I've been making.If I really want this job badly,I'm going to start to be aggressive.I've taken enough shit from so many people,It's time I've did something about it! ;)

I've been applying for jobs on my own but he says I should stop applying and have him help me.I hope he can help me before my relationship crumbles before February. :( Let's see how good he does.

[eightball61]

I've been applying for jobs on my own but he says I should stop applying and have him help me.

He is there to help you so you should let him help you. Also, I know he isn't this type of counselor but you should also bring up the pressure that Robins' parent's are giving you. He may have some advice on how to handle a situation like that.

Good Luck :)

~8Ball

[Howard]

He is there to help you so you should let him help you. Also, I know he isn't this type of counselor but you should also bring up the pressure that Robins' parent's are giving you. He may have some advice on how to handle a situation like that.

Good Luck :)

~8Ball


My job coach is not much of a relationship expert but he may or may not have any advice for me but we'll see what happens.I'll try to bring it up in conversation with him.

I hope that I can save my relationship with Robin.I know that her and I are meant to be so I guess I have nothing to worry about.I'm too much of a worrywart.People put situations in my head and I overexaggerate about them.That's my problem. :rolleyes:

[eightball61]

When you talk to him about the situation with you and Robins' parents you're not seeking relationship advice. Well, I guess in a way it could be considered relationship advice but your goal is to find a way to deal with the stress of her parents hounding you.

You can only do so much as an individual...remember that;)

Keep us updated:)

~8Ball

[sherrylynn75]

It's great that you got yourself a job coach. Something will come your way Howard you just need to very active in your search. good luck

[Howard]

When you talk to him about the situation with you and Robins' parents you're not seeking relationship advice. Well, I guess in a way it could be considered relationship advice but your goal is to find a way to deal with the stress of her parents hounding you.

You can only do so much as an individual...remember that;)

Keep us updated:)

~8Ball


I was talking to my job coach and I was saying that Robin's parents have known me for almost 9 months compared to living in my house with MY parents for 31 years,Robin's parents don't even know me.They know me from what Robin had mentioned to them and what I had mentioned to her over the past year,almost like the game telephone in some sort of way.

My job coach said that maybe I need some sort of push but he thinks Robin's Parents aren't good enough cause they don't know me that well.He also said that if your parents don't push you(me)that much then maybe you need someone else that isn't too bossy,stubborn,impatient and someone that can understand my disability.I'll keep you updated as well. :)

[Howard]

It's great that you got yourself a job coach. Something will come your way Howard you just need to very active in your search. good luck


Thanks Sherryl. :)

[yourstruly]

He also said that if your parents don't push you(me)that much then maybe you need someone else that isn't too bossy,stubborn,impatient and someone that can understand my disability.

Isn't that what we are?

[Howard]

Isn't that what we are?



Yes I guess so.Everyone has been very nice on here but I think he means someone who I can talk to eye to eye.That's probably what he meant.

[eightball61]

I think he means someone who I can talk to eye to eye.That's probably what he meant.

This is why I asked you last week about your parents but you didn't go into much detail about them & what they think. You talk about Robin and your parents but I can't remember one time that you talked about how your family feels.

So I ask again:

What do your parents think out of all this? Do they want you to go out and get a job? Do they want you to have a life of your own? Please tell us more about "you" and "your" position with your parents.

Thank you,

~8Ball

[Howard]

This is why I asked you last week about your parents but you didn't go into much detail about them & what they think. You talk about Robin and your parents but I can't remember one time that you talked about how your family feels.

So I ask again:

What do your parents think out of all this? Do they want you to go out and get a job? Do they want you to have a life of your own? Please tell us more about "you" and "your" position with your parents.

Thank you,

~8Ball


My Mother is the one who I tell stuff about Robin to,My Father I try to stay away from cause he's very hostile with me sometimes.

My Mother(the supportive one)wants me to get a job,A job that is fufilling and that can keep you busy all day instead of coming home all the time & having nowhere to go which is very depressing.I feel that being in these vocational programs for the past 12,13 years on and off have kept me isolated most of the time and having a comfort zone of my own.I'm too comfortable and I need to make the transition from vocational program to a part time/full time job cause I can't stay in these programs forever,I've got to move on with my life someday.I'm not getting any younger,you know.They want me to have a life of my own but It may not happen cause many years from now they'll be selling the house and most likely moving to Florida for retirement for good and where would that leave me? Probably in a group home or moving to Florida with them which I don't know If I want to cause I'd like to have a life with Robin if that ever happens OR staying in the house and have them move to Florida while I pay off the house.I don't know what will happen yet.I'll keep you updated. :)

[eightball61]

They want me to have a life of my own

If they truly want you to live a life of your own then it's time that you all step up to the plate and work on this goal together. Having a job coach is great but your gonna need more support and guidence from others around you like your parents. You need to talk to them more(not fight) about this so they can help you along the way. Most of the doing is in your hands but the having the support & guidence of others is always a big plus.....

Good Luck,

~8Ball

[Howard]

If they truly want you to live a life of your own then it's time that you all step up to the plate and work on this goal together. Having a job coach is great but your gonna need more support and guidence from others around you like your parents. You need to talk to them more(not fight) about this so they can help you along the way. Most of the doing is in your hands but the having the support & guidence of others is always a big plus.....

Good Luck,

~8Ball


My parents want me to have a life of my own but right now I still live with them and I don't have enough money to get my own apartment.When they finally move to Florida and sell the house whenever that'll be,I have 3 options either live with them which I know I'll be upset because I have so many friends in New York and a beautiful girlfriend that I truly love with all my heart if I moved to Florida,she'll be heartbroken OR go to a Supportive Apartment OR just pay off the house while they live in Florida and when The Summer/Winter comes,They'll stay over for the weekend and go back to Florida after the weekend's up.I don't want to wind up when I'm 40 and still living with my parents,I just can't see myself in that scenario.I'll wind up being like George Costanza. :D
But anyway,Thanks again and we'll chat soon! :)

[yourstruly]

I'll wind up being like George Costanza. :D

oh no, get out now Howard!!! lol.

no seriously, I don't know what else to suggest to you to do. I wish I did. Surely there is some other kind of agency that you can turn to for help to get you started in a job.

a few years ago I used to visit a chatroom and there was this guy who was a regular in there who had certain disabilities but he felt he could function in the real world with a real job. He tried and tried and tried to find a job on his own. And he, like you, had a job coach also. But for years he got stuck in the program, trying to get out. But what he found out is that they (being the program) don't really WANT you to get out, they WANT you to stay in the program because they get "so much per head" from the government in funding and in tax breaks. I hope this isn't the case where you are, I'd hate to think that agencies would actually try to prevent someone from real life.

I think you should do some research and try to contact someone OUTSIDE THE PROGRAM for help. Ya see what I am trying to say?

[Howard]

oh no, get out now Howard!!! lol.

no seriously, I don't know what else to suggest to you to do. I wish I did. Surely there is some other kind of agency that you can turn to for help to get you started in a job.

a few years ago I used to visit a chatroom and there was this guy who was a regular in there who had certain disabilities but he felt he could function in the real world with a real job. He tried and tried and tried to find a job on his own. And he, like you, had a job coach also. But for years he got stuck in the program, trying to get out. But what he found out is that they (being the program) don't really WANT you to get out, they WANT you to stay in the program because they get "so much per head" from the government in funding and in tax breaks. I hope this isn't the case where you are, I'd hate to think that agencies would actually try to prevent someone from real life.

I think you should do some research and try to contact someone OUTSIDE THE PROGRAM for help. Ya see what I am trying to say?



In The Seinfeld Sitcom,George Costanza is in his mid 40's,Unemployed and lives with his Parents which he is the reason for living with his Mother And Father.I don't know if George And I are similar but he never attended vocational programs for 13 years. :D


But,I'm trying to get myself out of this stupid IPRT program which stands for Individual Psychiatric Rehab Training and now I find it so boring and redundant.I just don't want to be there anymore,I'm frustrated.I'll see what help I can get so I can save this relationship by OR before January 2006 or Robin's parents will not allow her to see me just not as exclusive.I guess I'll have to keep on trying.Maybe I should try to look for Seasonal,If not I don't know what to do.Might as well let this relationship crumble to the ground.I don't know what to say anymore. :(

[eightball61]

Might as well let this relationship crumble to the ground.I don't know what to say anymore. :(


That attitude won't get you very far......

[Howard]

That attitude won't get you very far......


How would you like it if your girlfriend's parents gave you deadlines and they don't respect you financially but they respect you only for your personality?They want a boyfriend that can take care of their daughter and maybe one day get married but first We both have to get our lives together.She wants to get a better paying job with benefits and I have to get a part time/full time job that can keep me alive financially so her and I can do more things together.I'm doing the best that I can and I'm working towards my goal. :)

[eightball61]

.I'm doing the best that I can and I'm working towards my goal. :)

^^ "Trying" your best is all we ask of you, Howard. You need to stay positive in order for positive things to happen.

[Howard]

^^ "Trying" your best is all we ask of you, Howard. You need to stay positive in order for positive things to happen.


I'm also trying to keep Robin positive too.She feels sad most of the time cause she sometimes but not all the time tells her Parents about her situation and my situation and Robin's parents just hate bad news so she enjoys talking to me on the telephone and I give her positive affirmations so she doesn't wind up feeling lousy.I just hope I'm being a good boyfriend,That's all I have to say.

[sherrylynn75]

I'm also trying to keep Robin positive too.She feels sad most of the time cause she sometimes but not all the time tells her Parents about her situation and my situation and Robin's parents just hate bad news so she enjoys talking to me on the telephone and I give her positive affirmations so she doesn't wind up feeling lousy.I just hope I'm being a good boyfriend,That's all I have to say.

Sounds to me like you are being a great boyfriend Howard. The best thing you can do is be supportive to her and try your best to better your own situation. Keep your spirits up you'll find something you just gotta go out there and kick some ass filling out job applications. Good Luck!!

[Howard]

Sounds to me like you are being a great boyfriend Howard. The best thing you can do is be supportive to her and try your best to better your own situation. Keep your spirits up you'll find something you just gotta go out there and kick some ass filling out job applications. Good Luck!!


It's not easy but that's what I'm doing right now and also getting help from my job coach Mr.Randolph.I'm being supportive as best that I can.It's hard trying to find jobs when you have your girlfriend's parents continually hounding you and give you deadlines and stuff that if you don't have paid employment by a specific month,Then my daughter won't be able to see you as much.I feel under pressure right now but I won't give up,never say never! :)

[Howard]

I'm still trying to put forth my effort into trying to save my relationship.I applied on-line to Old Navy and some McDonalds when I had walked in and asked if you're hiring & had told me they're not hiring right now.So,I'm not giving up.Robin said that if I accomplish what I need to do,She has a special reward for me. ;)

[eightball61]

I'm still trying to put forth my effort into trying to save my relationship.I applied on-line to Old Navy and some McDonalds when I had walked in and asked if you're hiring & had told me they're not hiring right now.So,I'm not giving up.Robin said that if I accomplish what I need to do,She has a special reward for me. ;)


It fustrating but the best you can do is not to give up.:)

~8Ball

[Howard]

It fustrating but the best you can do is not to give up.:)

~8Ball


Thanks 8Ball. :)


Some good news.My job coach might be looking into a McDonalds in my area or a Pathmark position on Long Island.He was giving me some homework today as to find the information for some sample job applications we were going over.I told him that I'm ready to work.13 years of frustration and 11 years of not having a decent part time job,I want to put that all behind me.It's going to be a little scary going back to work cause of me being comfortable for quite a long time.He didn't say specifically when but he has some connections with the managers there.I'll let you know what happens. :)

[yourstruly]

good luck, will be prayin for ya Howard!!!!

[dezdweller]

I'm sure your job coach has already told you this, Howard - but make sure all your volunteering is listed as work experience. It's a valuable addition to a resume, as well as your self taught skills and talents.
Also, when applying for jobs that REALLY catch your interest, research them - so when you get to the interview stage you can show them you know about the company and where your interests within the company lie.
(For an off the wall employment anecdote, I got this last part time security job when I told the safety manager - not knowing who he was and that he'd be my new boss - the old saying, "No one is more perfect then when filling out a job application" was a bit outdated. In my mind, getting hired on to a job is akin to prostitution...you say all the "I'm loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy,blah blah blah"...until you sound better than his pet lapdog. What I'd like to say to my interviewer was "I know how trustworthy I am, I'd like to consider this a probationary period to see how trustworthy YOU are! He laughed, wished me luck, and twenty minutes later I was introduced to him as my interviewer. He thought it was very funny.)

As far as the parents' hounding you, unless they know of someone willing to employ you immediately, they should be aware of, or have it brought to their attention, that you can only apply for positions - you can't force anyone to hire you. And you ARE trying. You can't tell them to just back off, I guess?

[Howard]

I'm sure your job coach has already told you this, Howard - but make sure all your volunteering is listed as work experience. It's a valuable addition to a resume, as well as your self taught skills and talents.
Also, when applying for jobs that REALLY catch your interest, research them - so when you get to the interview stage you can show them you know about the company and where your interests within the company lie.
(For an off the wall employment anecdote, I got this last part time security job when I told the safety manager - not knowing who he was and that he'd be my new boss - the old saying, "No one is more perfect then when filling out a job application" was a bit outdated. In my mind, getting hired on to a job is akin to prostitution...you say all the "I'm loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy,blah blah blah"...until you sound better than his pet lapdog. What I'd like to say to my interviewer was "I know how trustworthy I am, I'd like to consider this a probationary period to see how trustworthy YOU are! He laughed, wished me luck, and twenty minutes later I was introduced to him as my interviewer. He thought it was very funny.)

As far as the parents' hounding you, unless they know of someone willing to employ you immediately, they should be aware of, or have it brought to their attention, that you can only apply for positions - you can't force anyone to hire you. And you ARE trying. You can't tell them to just back off, I guess?


I guess I can say that 2005 was partially a dissapointing year for me but the rest was pretty optimistic.2006 will be a better year and to put all my 13 years of frustrations well behind me. :)

[eightball61]

2006 will be a better year and to put all my 13 years of frustrations well behind me. :)


That's a very positive outlook to the new year, Howard. You outta print your quote out and keep it handy at all times for the upcoming year because it may help guide you.

~8Ball

[Howard]

That's a very positive outlook to the new year, Howard. You outta print your quote out and keep it handy at all times for the upcoming year because it may help guide you.

~8Ball


No That's ok,I don't have to do that but Thanks for the suggestion anyway.I can tell myself that it will be a better 2006 for me and no looking back cause I'll only dwell on the situation and it will make it worse.I can't let that happen.I just want Robin and I to both feel optimistic and positive. :)

[Howard]

I talked with my job coach today and now he wants me to work on The O'Net Ability Profiler which is a little test to see what my abilities are and what I'm good at.He also wants to talk with Robin but I have to fill out a release of information by next week.So progress is being made slowly and maybe not December but most likely early January the latest that he will make the call to some managers.I hope so. :(

[yourstruly]

I talked with my job coach today and now he wants me to work on The O'Net Ability Profiler which is a little test to see what my abilities are and what I'm good at.He also wants to talk with Robin but I have to fill out a release of information by next week.So progress is being made slowly and maybe not December but most likely early January the latest that he will make the call to some managers.I hope so. :(


what does he want to talk to Robin about?

[Howard]

what does he want to talk to Robin about?


My Job Coach wants to have a talk with my"natural supports" in another words people who are there when you need them for advice,I believe.I hope she doesn't say anything to make him angry.Perhaps I should've given him the phone number to my friend Robert who I've known for 10 years but we'll see what happens.

Natural supports are any assistance, relationships or interactions that allow a person to secure, maintain and advance in the community of his/ her choosing in ways that correspond to the typical routines and social actions of other people and that enhance the individual’s relationships.

[yourstruly]

My Job Coach wants to have a talk with my"natural supports" in another words people who are there when you need them for advice,I believe.I hope she doesn't say anything to make him angry.Perhaps I should've given him the phone number to my friend Robert who I've known for 10 years but we'll see what happens.

Natural supports are any assistance, relationships or interactions that allow a person to secure, maintain and advance in the community of his/ her choosing in ways that correspond to the typical routines and social actions of other people and that enhance the individual’s relationships.

personally I don't see where a "job coach" would need to speak to your friends/your girlfriend.

does your "job coach" know you have a "support system" online on this forum? you may have known robert for 10 years and robin may be your girlfriend, but this forum probably knows more about you than any other person on the face of this earth :)

[Howard]

personally I don't see where a "job coach" would need to speak to your friends/your girlfriend.

does your "job coach" know you have a "support system" online on this forum? you may have known robert for 10 years and robin may be your girlfriend, but this forum probably knows more about you than any other person on the face of this earth :)



I remember telling my job coach that I talk to people on my messageboard but he doesn't mean messageboard support unless you want me to tell him that I have someone on my boards that want to talk to my job coach.That would look silly.I think he meant people who I can see or have been by my side whenever I need them.Thanks for the support anyhow Truly. :)

[Howard]

Well,some good news.I had a talk with my job coach as usual on Wednesday afternoons and today he definitely said that he wants me to get out there and start working again which I haven't had work in 10 years.I said that I would like to try something in relation to clerical,retail,stock or maintainence porter.He will make contacts to either Starbucks which is a long walk away or Key Food which is right around the corner from where I live which will be absolutely no problem whatsoever for me.He also asked me"What would you want to do with your first paycheck"?and I said that I have some expenses but I would also want to spend it on Robin which she's one of my priorities.He also said that after 6 months if you do well with Part-Time,He'll look into Full Time work in a CVS or Genovese(Eckerd)type drug store.I'm meeting with him on December 30th cause he's going on Christmas vacation the week before that.Now that's news that I want to hear and hopefully Robin will feel much better secured. :)

[yourstruly]

Well,some good news.I had a talk with my job coach as usual on Wednesday afternoons and today he definitely said that he wants me to get out there and start working again which I haven't had work in 10 years.I said that I would like to try something in relation to clerical,retail,stock or maintainence porter.He will make contacts to either Starbucks which is a long walk away or Key Food which is right around the corner from where I live which will be absolutely no problem whatsoever for me.He also asked me"What would you want to do with your first paycheck"?and I said that I have some expenses but I would also want to spend it on Robin which she's one of my priorities.He also said that after 6 months if you do well with Part-Time,He'll look into Full Time work in a CVS or Genovese(Eckerd)type drug store.I'm meeting with him on December 30th cause he's going on Christmas vacation the week before that.Now that's news that I want to hear and hopefully Robin will feel much better secured. :)

wow, thats great news Howard. Good luck with it!!!

[Howard]

wow, thats great news Howard. Good luck with it!!!


Thanks Truly. :)

[eightball61]

When you do start getting paychecks you outta get a savings account so this way you can put a portion of that check away and spend the rest for yourself or Robin.

Just a thought...


~8Ball

[Howard]

When you do start getting paychecks you outta get a savings account so this way you can put a portion of that check away and spend the rest for yourself or Robin.

Just a thought...


~8Ball


I have a bank account that I put money in.Right Now I can only keep close to or less than 2,000 dollars in my account for SSI reasons for emergencies but when I do get a part time job that will all change and I can splurge it on Robin or we can spend it on each other. :)

The problem with me is that I want to have more money to spend.I feel that with the SSI checks I get once a month and I give rent to my Parents,I feel I don't have enough money for the month.It goes very quickly so hopefully money will be much better by next year. :)

[eightball61]

I have a bank account that I put money in.Right Now I can only keep close to or less than 2,000 dollars in my account for SSI reasons for emergencies but when I do get a part time job that will all change and I can splurge it on Robin or we can spend it on each other. :)




You and Robin still can have fun without spending all your money. Be conservative on your spending so you can save to bigger and better things like living alone.....

~8Ball

[Howard]

You and Robin still can have fun without spending all your money. Be conservative on your spending so you can save to bigger and better things like living alone.....

~8Ball



Like for instance,In The Summertime,Her And I could take walks in the park without spending any money and during the Wintertime when it gets really cold,Her and I could go out to eat to a nice restaurant and go back to her house and watch a film or 2.Then we get cozy and romantic. ;)

Getting an apartment is not one of my priorities right now but I'll think about it and put it on my list of stuff to look for.I don't mind living with my parents but eventually I'm going to have to leave the nest cause I'm almost in my mid 30's and Robin will be 30 herself in 4 years so Her and I have to talk about this further and where our lives are going. :)

[Howard]

I have a different situation to deal with,Maybe someone could help me.I was supposed to see my friend who lives up in Niskayuna for the Christmas Holiday but we re-planned it for New Year's weekend but the problem is on the 31st of December,I'm going to Robin's friend's house who lives in Syosset for New Year's Eve.I see my friend Robert every 4 months until the next holiday comes up and the original plan a few months ago was to make it for New Year's but him and I had made it for Christmas but this transit strike happened so the plans for me coming to see him on Christmas were put on hold.Robert already had told his job coach that I was coming for New Year's.Right Now I'm stuck in a pickle.I want to spend time with Robin and I want to spend time with Robert who I've know for 10 years but I don't want to hurt his or feelings.I also have trouble making decisions and telling the truth.It makes me nervous.Anybody have any suggestions for me? :(

[eightball61]

If your New Year's Weekend was already planned then you need to stick to those plans unless you discuss this further with Robin. You need to communicate with her because this is what couples do. You only see you friend every few months so maybe she could compromise in allowing you to go but since you already had plans with Robin you should keep them until you both talk.

~8Ball

[Howard]

If your New Year's Weekend was already planned then you need to stick to those plans unless you discuss this further with Robin. You need to communicate with her because this is what couples do. You only see you friend every few months so maybe she could compromise in allowing you to go but since you already had plans with Robin you should keep them until you both talk.

~8Ball



Thanks 8Ball.I just don't want to disappoint both of them.I feel that after 10 years that sometimes I'm kissing his ass just to please him.But he is a good friend and now that The Transit Strike is Over I still want to see her on the 31st and I can make it up to him by doing something nice when I come up to see Robert.I'll talk to him further about this situation and keep you updated.

[eightball61]

There you go.....The strike is over & your problems are now solved ;)


Happy Holidays :)

~8Ball

[Howard]

There you go.....The strike is over & your problems are now solved ;)


Happy Holidays :)

~8Ball



That's not the point 8Ball.Robin and her friends were nice enough to invite me over for New Year's on the 31st but my friend Robert wanted to re-plan it and make our time with each other on New Year's but I want to see her and I don't want her to be lonely.Robert on the other hand was giving me a sympathy story saying that he'll be lonely on New Year's and have no one to talk to but didn't someone say one time that your girlfriend should be made a priority?I forgot who had said that but anyway I always thought that I had to kiss his ass sometimes and I've known him for 10 years and even before he moved,I always saw some sort of superiority like he wanted to be king wherever we went places.He's a nice guy and all but he has to learn to alternate.Last Year I went to see Robert and left Robin alone now it's the other way around.He's a good guy and I hope I don't lose him as a friend. :(

[yourstruly]

Howard I think you should spend new years eve with Robin. she is your girlfriend, and SHE is the one who you will be kissing at midnite to celebrate 2006, not Robert :)

[Howard]

Howard I think you should spend new years eve with Robin. she is your girlfriend, and SHE is the one who you will be kissing at midnite to celebrate 2006, not Robert :)


Exactly Truly.I wouldn't kiss Robert anyway he has smoker's breath and has been smoking for 22 Years now but anyway I just got off the phone with her and I made plans in advance but since the transit strike ended yesterday Robert wanted to re-plan our get together for New Year's on the 31st.He makes a big deal out of nothing.I told him we can meet on Martin Luther King's Birthday weekend.I just don't want Robin to be lonely but Robert said he was going to be lonely but who cares,Him and I have to alternate.Last Year I went to see him and left Robin alone,this time it's the other way around and that's the way it is.I'll have to explain it to him further so he'll understand better.I promised I'd make it up to him when I get to Niskayuna,I didn't forget. :)

[eightball61]

Here's a thought:

You could always ask Robin if Robert could spend New Years with you all. Other than that, I do agree that you should spend the time with Robin since it was already planned.


~8Ball

[Howard]

Here's a thought:

You could always ask Robin if Robert could spend New Years with you all. Other than that, I do agree that you should spend the time with Robin since it was already planned.


~8Ball


It's Not possible 8Ball.Robert lives 3 hours away from New York City,he's handicapped and he kind of likes living up there in Niskayuna with the quiet and all but anyway,I wouldn't have went since the strike had ended on Thursday which would've been the day that I would've been up there but it's too late now you can't change that so he'll have to alternate with me.I promised I'd call him at midnight,The 31st I didn't forget. :)

[eightball61]

It's Not possible 8Ball.Robert lives 3 hours away from New York City,he's handicapped and he kind of likes living up there in Niskayuna with the quiet and all but anyway,I wouldn't have went since the strike had ended on Thursday which would've been the day that I would've been up there but it's too late now you can't change that so he'll have to alternate with me.I promised I'd call him at midnight,The 31st I didn't forget. :)


Sounds like a plan. ;) Have a Happy New Years :)

~8Ball

[Howard]

Sounds like a plan. ;) Have a Happy New Years :)

~8Ball



Thanks 8Ball You Too.Have a Great 2006. :)

Are you going to be here at Midnight? :confused:

[yourstruly]

Thanks 8Ball You Too.Have a Great 2006. :)

Are you going to be here at Midnight? :confused:

lol Howard, do you plan on kissing eightball at midnite on new years eve???????

[eightball61]

The only person that I will be kissing on New Years will be my girlfriend....lol

I most likely won't be around because I will be sharing the special moment with my girlfriend. :)


~8Ball

[Howard]

lol Howard, do you plan on kissing eightball at midnite on new years eve???????


Unless you want me to kiss the computer screen. :D

Would you want a kiss smilie instead? :D

[Howard]

The only person that I will be kissing on New Years will be my girlfriend....lol

I most likely won't be around because I will be sharing the special moment with my girlfriend. :)


~8Ball



Same here 8Ball.Be sure to have some misletoe around and some cologne for just in case.Have a Good Time. :)

[Howard]

My friend Robert just has to realize that I'm committed to my girlfriend but who should I give attention to,Robert whom I've known 10 years or Robin,1 Year? :confused:

He still seems to pissed about the situation. :rolleyes:

[Howard]

Here's another situation I was just thinking about.I would like to go half and half with Robin to pay for the gas in her Parent's Car since that is my solution.Yes,I felt kind of selfish this year and she's been chauffering me around so my idea is to give her half of what she pays for gas so that problem is solved right there.All I want her to have is her car privileges back so she can be able to drive me places.What do you guys think about this solution? :confused:

[liezelle]

hi names Liezelle Brown, new here dude..
just curious enough, had anyone tried one of this?
see (http://www.unlimited-backgroundcheck.com).
car agent tip me to check one who's im dealin with. Any advice?

[Howard]

hi names Liezelle Brown, new here dude..
just curious enough, had anyone tried one of this?
see (http://www.unlimited-backgroundcheck.com).
car agent tip me to check one who's im dealin with. Any advice?


The website says that you have to pay $34.95 but why so much? :confused:

[liezelle]

hi howard :) well dunno but im planin to try one. my h.r. dept has one on our system to check records of new applicants. some got found out of speeding ticket though..

[Howard]

hi howard :) well dunno but im planin to try one. my h.r. dept has one on our system to check records of new applicants. some got found out of speeding ticket though..



Were they in trouble? :confused:

[Howard]

Update on my situation:


Well,Some more good news.My job coach & group therapist are going to talk to the manager at Au Bon Pain to give a good word about me and that they'll say something positive when I'm ready to get back to work again.He might also try Pathmark if Au Bon Pain doesn't happen.So,I'm feeling very positive that excellent things are happening even as I write.So,It won't be that long till I see Robin again.I'm in my own zone and I'm not letting anyone discourage me! :)

[Howard]

New Update

I have a job interview with the manager at Au Bon Pain on Monday Morning,The 23rd at 945am.This doesn't mean I have the job yet,He just wants to get to know me and be introduced to the co-workers.My job coach will be with me to be of his assistance If I need any help.He knew the manager & so does my therapist for many years now.So both of them have connections.It looks to me that I might be working in no time.Wish Me good luck! :)

[eightball61]

Good Luck, Howard :)

[SALly]

Good luck Howard! Do your best!

[Howard]

Thanks Guys.My job coach called me on my cell phone today and he said that the manager won't be in tomorrow so he made it for Monday Morning the 23rd at 9:45am.See,My horoscope was right about the good news that'll be happening soon.I'm looking forward to it. :)

[Howard]

Update:

Tomorrow Morning is my job interview with Au Bon Pain at 9:45am so wish me good luck.I hope I get this position cause I know that good luck has been on my side lately so this is a good sign.My job coach will be there to be of his assistance just in case I mess up.This is something that I've been waiting for 13,14 years going back to paid work and I feel very eager now.Once I'm hired,I'll call Robin up,Her And Parents will be pleased and that we can hang out on Sundays once again.I'll keep you updated with everything as it progresses! :)

http://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~scorp/passportday/img/au%20bon%20pain.jpg :D

[eightball61]

Good Luck :)

[SALly]

Good luck Howard! :)

[Howard]

Well,I finally nailed the job interview at Au Bon Pain today thanks with the assistance of my wonderful job coach Mr.Randolph this morning.The manager reviewed my application and found it to be very impressive so he was pleased with that.My job coach said to the manager that"Howard needs a job badly ",so he tried to convince the manager that I needed to be sold in the right way and it worked in our favors.So,I was happy as a pig in slop to be going back to work after 12,13 years and now I will call Robin and tell her the excellent news that I'll be starting on Saturday after an orientation from 3pm-5pm then I'll be working the rest of the night till 8pm.After That,The next Saturday will be the regular hours from 12pm-6pm.I knew I'd get the position.Hey,1 day a week for probation is not so bad for a start so if he likes me then He'll extend my hours and days so we'll see what happens.I'll keep you updated with everything. :D

[yourstruly]

congratulations Howard!!! yayyyy!!!!!!!

[eightball61]

That's Great News :)


I wish you the best of luck ;)

[SALly]

Excellent! Congrats Howard. :D

[Howard]

Thanks Guys. :)

Now that I have paid employment under my belt,Robin And I can finally hang out with each other on Sundays after a month away from one another and to call each other every day to keep updates with what's happening with ourselves.I promised to her an Ice Cream Party and a peace offering gift when I go back to her house that's If I do,If not Her And I will just hang out someplace else which is fine with me.It's been a long time coming and I'm happy with that.http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/grinser/grinning-smiley-003.gif

[Howard]

Tomorrow is my first day at Au Bon Pain but first will be an orientation from 3pm-5pm then he'll have me work up until 8pm to show me the ropes for the first time.The week after will be regular business hours 12pm-6pm.Have a good weekend everyone and I'll keep you updated with ABP. :)

[SALly]

How was work Howard?

[Howard]

How was work Howard?


Saturday,The 28th was my very first day at Au Bon Pain.The manager was mixed up with the orientation so he had scheduled it for next week but before I had started,The manager and I went over the Employee handbook plus the rules and regulations of the company.He shown me what to do as of cleaning the tables,mopping the floor,taking out the trash,showing me what places that needed to be clean and spotless,double checking,knowing what cleaning solutions that work for the tables,windows and mirrors and that's basically it for now since it was my first day and I was new.My job coach was there up until the time I had left which was about 8pm so he was a great help all the way.I got to have a 30 minute break and had a Ham & Swiss baguette and went back to work for the remainder of the shift.I also received my Au Bon Pain work clothes which I'm so very happy about.All In All,I had an excellent day.The only problem is that I need to work on are my distractions.But anyway,I think 1 day a week is ok for now until later on in the future when I'll ask my supervisor for more days and hours.I'll keep you all updated on the Saturdays at Au Bon Pain. :)

[SALly]

Good job Howard, sounds like you had a great first day!

[Howard]

Good job Howard, sounds like you had a great first day!


It was wonderful.I had an excellent first day.My job coach was with me all the way up until 8pm.Next week will be regular business hours from 12pm-6pm. :)

[eightball61]

Keep up the hard work ;)

[angeleyes325]

That's wonderful to hear Howard. Keep it up and you'll earn those extra days in no time at all. :)

[Howard]

That's wonderful to hear Howard. Keep it up and you'll earn those extra days in no time at all. :)


Thanks 8Ball and Angel.I hope to increase my days just as soon as I'm discharged from my vocational program.I'll have Mondays and Wednesdays free so I'll use those days for Au Bon Pain in lieu of my program that way I'll have Mondays,Wednesdays and Saturdays for work,Tuesdays I have my group therapy,Thursday & Friday I volunteer upstairs in my hospital 9am-1pm.So as you can see I'm pretty busy but I'll be busier soon enough. :)

[Howard]

This weekend was a change for the orientation cause of some manager shift so It'll be This Saturday at 1pm then after that I most likely will be working up until 6 or 8pm.

[Howard]

Au Bon Pain Update:

So Far I'm doing pretty well so says my Job Coach & Manager/Supervisor.He told me that I was pretty dedicated to the orientation a few weeks ago.Since I'm still in training,The times that I work will differ so this weekend will be 1pm-7pm.Don't know what Next week will be. We'll have to see what happens. :)

[Howard]

On Saturday,I got my very first paycheck at Au Bon Pain which was about $31.00 and they get paid about every week but for me it was 2 weeks.So,pretty good for a week's worth of work.After 13 years,I definitely earned it. :D

[SALly]

Good job Howard! :)

[Howard]

Good job Howard! :)



Thanks Sally.I'm really enjoying working at Au Bon Pain.It's very exciting for me to be there. :)

[Howard]

This Morning I went to Au Bon Pain for my morning coffee even though I don't start work until Saturday at 1pm,The manager Mr.Carpenter saw me and I said hello to him,He told the cashier that the coffee is on me,So I didn't have to pay anything so I said "Thank You,Mr.Carpenter,I'll see you on Saturday" and went upstairs to volunteer for the rest of the day.That made me feel good. :)

[SALly]

Awww that's nice! :)

[Howard]

Awww that's nice! :)



See Sally,When you have 2 connections with a manager and the manager likes you a lot,Good things do happen. :)

[Howard]

Last Weekend,was a pretty messy and sloppy day and got all of it done.Also,I got paid again.Workers from what I was told,Get Paid every Saturday.So,the paychecks will be rolling in. :)

[SALly]

Yep- I see what you mean Howard.... keep up the good work. :D

[Howard]

Yep- I see what you mean Howard.... keep up the good work. :D


Thanks Sally.My job coach Mr.Randolph is helping me to get better jobs cause he knows from what I've told him that My Parents don't want to see me doing maintainence for the next 30 years,They want me to be successful and not perform menial tasks at any job.

[Howard]

It was a pretty interesting day on Saturday.I did the usual and also had to mop up a chocolate milk spill but other than that,Everything went well.Au Bon Pain can be very busy in 1 day and you wouldn't want to be there when it's busy. :eek:

[Howard]

I have another situation where I want to do something to fill up my time other than going to my stupid program.I could either increase my days of volunteer service on Monday and Wednesday instead of going to my program since I volunteer Thursday and Friday OR I was asked to be discharged from my case manager so I don't have to attend that piece of crap anymore.:mad:

I have been volunteering altogether for about 12 years.Is there such a thing as doing too much volunteer service cause I already work at Au Bon Pain Saturdays 1pm-7pm and I would like to increase my days and hours but I'll stick to volunteering for the time being and then see what happens from there.

[angeleyes325]

I have another situation where I want to do something to fill up my time other than going to my stupid program.I could either increase my days of volunteer service on Monday and Wednesday instead of going to my program since I volunteer Thursday and Friday OR I was asked to be discharged from my case manager so I don't have to attend that piece of crap anymore.:mad:

I have been volunteering altogether for about 12 years.Is there such a thing as doing too much volunteer service cause I already work at Au Bon Pain Saturdays 1pm-7pm and I would like to increase my days and hours but I'll stick to volunteering for the time being and then see what happens from there.

I'd have to say in your case Howard, no you haven't volunteered TOO MUCH. I know people here in my community that have been volunteers or mentors for decades. Anyway, hope you figure out what you are going to do about your "program"

Angel

[Howard]

I'd have to say in your case Howard, no you haven't volunteered TOO MUCH. I know people here in my community that have been volunteers or mentors for decades. Anyway, hope you figure out what you are going to do about your "program"

Angel

Being in vocational programs and workshops for 14 years have made feel really mentally depressed and in 1992 after graduating High School I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I wound up going to vocational programs to keep myself busy and working but my problem was that I was surrounded by some mentally retarded people and that's been ongoing for 14 years.That's one of the reasons why I want to move on with my life and forget about my past.I'm not getting any younger,You Know.:(

[SALly]

Yes but are you physically and mentally capable of being on your own in the world, or do you need the program?

[angeleyes325]

I have to agree with SAlly. Are you really sure that you can go face to face without some sort of program Howard? I know u weren't crazy about being in the Program w/the mentally retarded individuals but you really need to think about this hard. Think about maybe finding a different program.

Angel

[SALly]

Also Howard, if you want something else to do, why don't you start looking for another paying job. Earning and saving as much money as possible should be a goal if you hope to be on your own and possibly marry one day.

[Howard]

Yes but are you physically and mentally capable of being on your own in the world, or do you need the program?


Sally,I would say that NOW I'm able to make it on my own but I still have my job coach to work with.I see him once a week,once a month or whenever he stops by to talk to my supervisor about my work performance about how I'm doing and how I can do the job better at Au Bon Pain.

[Howard]

Yes but are you physically and mentally capable of being on your own in the world, or do you need the program?


Sally,I would say that NOW I'm able to make it on my own but I still have my job coach to work with.I see him once a week,once a month or whenever he stops by to talk to my supervisor about my work performance about how I'm doing and how I can do the job better at Au Bon Pain.At this point in my life,I don't need programs anymore.

[Howard]

I have to agree with SAlly. Are you really sure that you can go face to face without some sort of program Howard? I know u weren't crazy about being in the Program w/the mentally retarded individuals but you really need to think about this hard. Think about maybe finding a different program.

Angel


I will not go to anymore programs.I've had enough of that crap.VESID sticks you there and you wind up volunteering without a paying job for years and it's useless! I will not be surrounded by them cause their quirks and idiosyncracies rub off on you!:mad:

[SALly]

I just don't think it is realistic for you to think about quiting the program. You need it and that's just how it is. Instead of complaining about it, do something to make it better, starting within yourself and your own attitude.

[Howard]

Also Howard, if you want something else to do, why don't you start looking for another paying job. Earning and saving as much money as possible should be a goal if you hope to be on your own and possibly marry one day.


Thanks Sally.That's my main goal.;)

[Howard]

I just don't think it is realistic for you to think about quiting the program. You need it and that's just how it is. Instead of complaining about it, do something to make it better, starting within yourself and your own attitude.


What I thought I might do for the time being is to continue volunteering on Mondays and Wednesdays,day off on Tuesdays and volunteer Thursday and Friday,work at Au Bon Pain Saturdays.

[Howard]

My Parents invited me to go with them for Passover dinner at a friend's house Thursday and Robin and Her parents invited me over on Thursday too.I told my Mother that I declined for your invitation in a nice way because Robin invited me over again like last year around this time.My Mother said" It's wrong" "We're supposed to go as a family" & "That's Ok,You'll be bored anyway".I don't know whether to spend time with my family or Robin's Family again like last year.I guess it's all up to me since I'm the one making the decision on my part.I just have some trouble making decisions sometimes.:(