Feel like such a wimp

[Takendown]

:(

Please help me w/what will seem like probably a
trivial thing but which is really causing me distress.

Basically, I discovered recently that my girlfriend,
who graduated college last year (we're the same age)
had taken some judo classes her senior year. Well when
she told me this I started laughing and making fun of
her b/c she's like 125 lbs. soaking wet, and is drop
dead gorgeous-she has long blond hair, looks as
feminine as can be, not muscular or anything, and even
did some p/t modeling work while at school to get by.
Point is, she just doesn't look like the type who
would be "throwing down" on a judo mat. Anyway, she
put up w/my taunting for a while and then was like
"you think that's pretty funny? well, how about we
have a wrestling match?"

Now,this just made me laugh even harder b/c I outweigh
her by like 40lbs. and i'm a pretty athletic guy. She
and I are both 5'9" but still, I figured
i'd have her pinned in about 15 seconds. Well, I don't
know what the hell happened, but she beat me, and I
feel completely emasculated as a result. I was totally
shocked. Yes, I know I asked for it. yes, I know she
knows judo, BUT she's no black belt or anything--she
only took like a semester's worth of classes and I
just cannot believe I got thrown to the floor
(repeatedly) and pinned by this skinny blond girl.

She had a good laugh at me, which I guess I deserved
and then she forgot about it, but it's been driving me
crazy ever since and I can't stand the idea that she
thinks she can basically, take me at wrestling. I
desperately want a re-match to prove I can beat her...

I just feel like she caught me off guard and maybe I
even subconsciously held back a little b/c she's a
girl--but if i had another shot and was beter
prepared, I KNOW I would beat her. Do you think it's
OK for me to ask her for a re-match? I just can't seem
to let it go otherwise. Please help--it was very hard
for me to write about this--even anonymously!

[bettyboobs]

that was the funniest thing i have ever heard. sorry she bruised your ego. but man, you gotta suck it up! don't let this distroy what you got. there are other ways of being man. being able to wrestle your girl down only counts in bed ;)

[Takendown]

OK, I get what you're saying, and I know on some level i'm just being a stupid guy and letting my ego get the better of me..

but can you honestly say that if YOU had a wrestling match w/your guy and you beat him, you wouldn;t lose SOME respect for him? Be honest!

[Rich]

Takendown-

I can understand what you're feeling. If she's not throwing it in your face, then let it be.

But if it does come up again, just play it that you were holding back because you didn't want to hurt her and that you didn't take it seriously. If she honestly feels that she can kick your ass and has no respect for you, then she'll challenge you again.

At that point try to beat her if you can.

Just know that when it comes to fighting, that it's not how big you are but how much you know. There are so many ways to hurt someone without exerting much energy. I took Tae Kwon do and learned a few things. Although they were all defensive, counter type moves, they still all worked.

I also found other tapes to study that showed how to hurt, cripple or kill people in very few moves, without much energy. Take for example this. Say that you had you mouth opened a little bit. Did you know that it only takes 4 pounds of pressure exerted on the hinge of where your lower and upper jaw meet to snap your jaw? That when it snapped that your eye socket would sink and totally F up your face? Well, it's true.

The point that I'm making is that you should never ASSUME that you can kick someone's ass and never judge a book by it's cover because you don't know what the other person might now. I only practiced for 6 months until my yellow belt and then dropped. But I learned some stuff and so has your girlfriend.

In my Dojo, we had our master instructor come over from Japan for a lesson. He was 80 years old and kicked some serious ass on the black belt instructors in my class.

Bottom line is to never assume.

Rich

[Takendown]

Thanks..

what you say makes perfect sense...i know it on an intellectual level but on a purely emotional/surface level, i'm having a hard time...

we spoke about this (she's not rubbing my face in it; in fact she'd forgotten about it and was surprised I was so upset) but I did ask her for a rematch and she agreed, saying only that she wouldn't take it easy on me just to soothe my ego. I said I just wanted one more shot and so we're "on" for tonight.