Need advice PLEASE!!!!

[glitter67]

Hi I am new to this forum and I have read some of the other posts and none are like my problem, here goes.....I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now ,He is 44 and I am 37,well anyway I was very much in love with him in the first months of our being together despite he would not kiss me sensually and still has not, he says he has with other g/fs but says he just don't see the sense in kissing,so I have been patient all this time, we use to spend lots of time together, well lately he has been spending his time with friends and at his favorite bars , he works at a bar 3 night a week, anyway he will say he is coming over after work and never shows up or calls, he will end out calling in the morning saying he was with friends and didnt get home til 4 am or something like that. I have tried to tell him that I feel neglected by him and I feel ugly to him because he won't kiss me, or do anything else for me but expects me to do for him(if you know what I mean) so i talked to him last night and he was like hold on! calm down ,your over reacting! but am I? he never comes over anymore, never shows mw attention, i have to ask him if im pretty just to hear him say yes.when were intimate I have to make the first move cause he won't touch me, I just feel like he is not interested altho he says he is, I don't see it.He won't communicate with me, no matter how hard i try to get him to talk to me about things , he just says "I don't know what to say" or "I don't have all the answers" Am I wrong to feel I deserve more? I would appreciate anybodys comments or advice ,thank you! Glitter67

[Rich]

Hi Glitter67-

Yes you do deserve more! You derserve exactly what you're giving. I say that because if both parties really want the relationship to work, then they should both be giving a lot to it. And if you're giving a lot then you should be getting a lot back.

IMO it sounds like you're the one giving in this relationship. A good relationship has both giving. Sound like your partner has started taking you for granted and there's a lack of respect towards you.

I'm a very simple, cut and dried and down to earth person. I like to simplify things. Talk to your partner and express your feelings. If he wants to change he'll say it and DO IT. If he blows you off, then things won't change and you need to move on.

Not saying that moving on would be easy to do, but it's what you have to do, IMO.

We see that a lot in today's relationships. Where one person isn't happy with the situation but accepts it and stays for various reasons. Ultimately they're not happy and things just build and get ugly. Staying ultimately isn't the answer in the long run.

Rich

[eightball61]

He won't communicate with me, no matter how hard i try to get him to talk to me about things , he just says "I don't know what to say" or "I don't have all the answers" Am I wrong to feel I deserve more? I would appreciate anybodys comments or advice ,thank you! Glitter67


You are 37 and he is 44 and that in the real world means you both are grown adults. The problem is that you are the adult and he is the 18 year old boy... A successful relationship will not last like this. Of course, the only person can change is him. You won't be able to do it for him. :rolleyes:

Of course, you don't have all the answers and neither does he...... :confused: infact, neither do i know it all :p but my point is in order to make a goood relationship work the couple needs to work with eachother and not against. It take two to run a good relationship and not just the power of one....after this now ask yourself if you deserve more. I wish you luck