Engaged w/ child!

[smalls]

I am 22 years old and my fiance is 24. WE were together for 3 months when I got pregnant. The baby is now 7 weeks old and him and I do nothing but fight. He doesnt help w/ the baby, with bills, cleaning or anything. I have talked and talked to him and gte nothing except "your being mean"! Imt ired of it. My famil lives 3 hours away and I think IM gonna move. Any men out there know how I can get through to him???

[eightball61]

Speaking the language of man can be worse than learning a new language. I think what you may need to do is just pack up and move. If you can't get through to him and you tried all communication and letter and nothing still happened then you need to do it for yourself.

If he cries for you to come back then you know he does want to be with you but if he doesn't then just proceed to start something new. You can still get child support from him so you won't be left dry.

I know your family is 3 hours away but do you have any close friends you can stay with for some time?

[CalistaClap]

If all you do is fight then I wouldn't suggest thinking about marriage in the near future.

If you are staying for the baby, then really consider this:

Is it better to have a child grow up in a unhappy home filled with fighting, just to have the parents together, or to grow up with seperated parents who are in happier relationships?

[Rich]

Just my two cents, but probably what is causing the fights is a sense of being trapped and of resentment.

Dating for 3 months isn't enough time to get to know someone to stay with for a life time and now you have a baby that will connect you for life. You're together, even if you don't want to be and there might be hard feelings.

A lot of relationships end after a few months because people realize that they're not compatible and don't want to be together. Now you feel that you're forced to stay together and there's tension.

Let's face it, you and your boyfriend had an unplanned prenancy. You played and adult game and now you have to be adults about what has transpired.

You and your boyfriend need to sit down , as adults and take stock of where you are. Talk about being together or even wanting to stay together. You both need to keep in mind that you have a baby and that baby's needs come first and that it's BOTH OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!

Be realistic about things. Talk about who is going to going to raise the child. Talk about adoption if neither of you feel that you can do it at this point in your lives. Be honest and realistic.

The bottom line is that you're both going to feel trapped by what happend and that there's going to be resentment. You're both at fault and there's no blame to pass. You gambled by not protecting yourself against this happening and you lost. Now you both need to face the reality of the situation and do what's right. You're both still getting to know each other and you can't put down or ridicule the other persons feelings about this situation.

Do what's right for the child and for both of your lives. The decisions that you're both going to make are going to be hard and difficult, but that's the price you have to pay. Be honest. Be adult. Do what's right for the child.

Rich