Need my gf back.

[Sam]

I'm 16 and I've just broken up with my gf, Her name is Alexis. I really love her, and want her back but she don't seem to want anything to do with me :( Ever since we split up I've been pretty depressed and now I really don't know what to do. I tried to get over her and move on but it's no good cause I can't do it. I wish I could cause to be honest, I don't see me and her ever getting back together. Now I'm stuck...I think about her all the time and I try not to but it's no good. She is so perfect, I think the world of her but I don't think she sees me in the same way she used too. There was a time when everything between us was great, couldn't have been any better and we was both so happy.

I try to talk to her over the net...only way i can cause she lives pretty far away. Though she don't ever seem to want too. I think I've changed from how I used to be, how I was when we first started talking and that's a problem. See...when we was together I used to get scared of losing her...paranoid that she would go off with someone better than me cause I don't think much of myself :( thought she's want someone better and that caused me to try and change myself. try and be something I wasn't in order to keep her. Didn't work though did it...and now I'm alone again.

I have to go now but I'll continue this later on when I can...

Basically though, I want her back and I'll do anything to get her back. I need help :( I need something to do or say that's gonna make her see that I love her more than anything.

Right, I'll cya later *waves*

[eightball61]

I am sorry to hear about the breakup but I hate to say this but you can't make her come back. You can try and try but that may only push her back. If she knows you want back in then she will have to listen to her heart and go from there.

Its difficult getting over a first love and you have no idea what the futures hold for you to but only time will tell. You will have to settle some and take it day by day and see what happens. If she doesn't want to talk then you have to respect that. She may still hurt.

[CalistaClap]

Trust me I know all about heartache. I"m sure that is what you are feeling right now.

Like Eightball said above, you cannot force her. She will think more of you by letting her have her space, then being the ex b/f who won't leave her alone.

If it doens't work out, there is bound to be someone out there who will want to be with you.

[Sam]

Thanks guys.

I understand that, that I can't force her and make her do anything that she doesn't want too. If being with me wouldn't make her happy then ok...I care about her so much and all I want is for her to be happy, no matter what it takes.

A problem I have is...I do try and talk to her every now and again and I send her e-mails....and when it doesn't look like she is gonna reply and seems like she's ignoring me (whether she is or not) I kinda lose my cool and moan about it and say things I shouldn't. Doing this is gonna push her further and further away right? like CalistaClap said...she'll think more of me by letting her have her own space. Though if I do that I'm scared I'll lose her for good.

About the future, lolI don't see much for me.

Reason why I loved Alexis was because at first...it was like all I had to be was myself and that was good enough for her. I've never been any good with the woman and I'm really shy. I don't think much of myself looks wise and I don't think any girl has ever taken notice of me but Alexis. I didn't have to be anything I wasn't, just myself and that is why she loved me, for me. That gave me all the confidence in the world, in myself because I had this beautiful woman who thought so much of me. Guess thought I can't be that bad after all but now it's over....things are back to how they used to be. :( just alone.

We was gonna move in together and everything...we planned on doing so much stuff, we was gonna be a proper couple. Just wish I could have that back and give it another go.

At the end of the day...if she's not gonna want me back at all...then I'm gonna have to try and move on, no matter how hard it is. :( gotta stop dueling in the past and get on with my life :( god. I wish it was as easy as that.

[CalistaClap]

Sam, you've said that you are 16. I really don't think that it is a smart idea to be talking about moving in with a g/f just yet.

I'm assuming that she is your age as well. Not too many people are ready to settle by this age. You still have ALOT of time to meet someone else. There is bound to be someone else interested in you.

You say that you are scared to loss her forever. By pressuring her, it is pushing her further away then if you were to sit back and giver her the space she needs. Let it be known that you are still interested, then leave it at that. Let her make up her own mind.

Moving in with a g/f (or b/f in my case) is very stressful. I'm 23, and I lived with my 25 yrs old b/f for a year and a half, and it's not all fun and games like one might assume.

Enjoy being a teenager, and don't rush in adulthood. It's not that much better. Just more bills, ;)

[Sam]

Well erm...she's kinda older than me :p and moving in would have been a great idea. I know how it is and I would have loved to have been living together. I know it's tough but I felt like if I worked hard which I would have, everything would have worked out.

I know I still have alot of time to meet new people but there is nobody else that I would want.

You're right about the pressuring thing...I know I should just leave her for now and that's probably what I'm gonna do. If I lose her and don't hear from her again then so be it... :(

I know it wouldn't be all fun and games if we had of lived together but I'm dead sure that it would be better that what I have now. It would have been me and her, alone together in are own house :)

Right...so leave her for awhile and see what happens basically? if that's what I have to do then that's cool I guess. :) we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

[CalistaClap]

The "newness" of living together fades away after like 2 months.

How long did you two date? And how much older is she then you?

Are you still in highschool? How would you expect to pay for it?

There is alot to consider when considering living with someone.

[eightball61]

Why did you break it off in the first place?


I do agree and she does need to have her own personal space. You are putting in your efforts and she is not responding. Its a sign that she just isn't ready to talk thing over just yet. I can't say for sure if she ever will be ready but remember that you are only 16 and don't let years past waiting for her. She is your first love and its hard to forget about them. Hang in there.