down about the distance

[Saliva4]

Hey, just abit of background on the situation. I met a girl a little over 2 years ago and wev been good friends since. About 3 months ago we got together, i had fancied her since i met her and it turned out she had also liked me. It was a 'itl never happen so i wont try' kind of situation. Anyhow wev been together 3 months and shes apsolutely amazing, ive seen a whole new side and depth to her that i never knew of as friends. Im crazy about her to say the least.

Shes quite ambitious and has aranged several trips to various places in the world. We both want to travel but im stuck at university so i have another year or so until i can go.

3 days ago she left for South Africa, shes away for 3 months. Im feeling the strains of the distance already, we both want the same thing out of the relationship and have made plans for the future, including traveling together and living arrangments. I love her with all my heart and i know the feelings are returned. I guess im just panicing abit, i cant handle not being able to talk to her when i want/need to as her mobile phone only works in certain areas of where shes going. So i have to wait for her to contact me, which tbh sucks.

When she left i didnt really get to say good bye to her and for the full day she txt'd me saying she regreted leaving and that she didnt want to go anymore. I txt'd her to reasure her and i continued to do so the day after when she landed in S.Africa, but i got no replys. Then later today she txt'd saying there was no phone adaptor and that her battery was going dead, i replied telling her that i loved her and i hoped she would stay safe.

Sorry ive ranted on abit....its just now i have to wait almost 3 months with possibly no contact, i dont know if shes safe or if she needs anything, i cant comfort her if shes home sick the bottom line is im worrying like hell about the next 11 weeks.

Im also a little worried about her losing interest in me while we are apart, i normally follow the philosophy of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' but i have an insecure nature and shes not there to reasure me.

I guess i just need advice on how to deal with this kind of worry, i know its not healthy, ive hardly slept and ive lost my apetite. Been trying to do some uni work but i cant concentrate on it.

Any words of wisdom are welcome, i just needed to voice my feelings and fears.

Thanks

[eightball61]

You both got together only 3 months ago and with that being said your relationship is still new. If you both weren't together I doubt you be feeling this way but with the relationship being so new everything is all coming together.

It's ok to worry about her and your feelings are very natural but you must not dwell on this for the next three months. If you do then you'll end up miserable.

The best thing that you can do is try to stay active. Buy a journal to write in if you have no one to chat with. You can even come here to vent out fustrations. 3 months seems like a longtime but if you can get in the mindset of being active then it will fly by.

[Saliva4]

Thanks 8ball and sorry for the double thread, posted it then decided maybe it should be on another board.

I guess its because the relationship is new that im worrying, especially when time has flown by because ive had so much fun. I think thats why i have this fear of losing her because our relationship hasnt yet developed into something really serious. I hope this time apart can bring us closer and lay the foundations for a stable future.

I did go out and get a journal to write down my thoughts, think im still going to use this place because sometimes its nice to have a responce to what im feeling.

I received a txt from her today saying how great the place is and that she wanted to bring me back 1 day to show me. Asmuch as i want her to txt me i had begun to not think about her so much and receiving the txt was like someone stabbing me, the sudden realisation that she was on the other side of the world! i really wanted at that moment to reply and tell her how down i felt, but i resisted and waited until id calmed down. Im glad i didnt txt back right away because i had time to think of something really nice to say to show her i was ok and dealing with it.

Writing on here has helped me so much already. Ive had 4 serious relationships before this and ive never had to deal with a long distance situation before, so this whole experience is knew to me. Not sure how or what to think. But being distracted really does work!

Thanks again, going to keep posting on here if nobody minds :)

[eightball61]

Just be happy about for her & what she is doing. If you show your worry side then she will not enjoy her time. I am sure it's hard but eventually she'll be back home & in your arms. Keep busy and your head up high. We are here for you anytime ;)

[chris2110]

I know exactly what you mean man, dont sweat it. I've known this girl for almost a year now, we live a thousand miles apart. It gets really hard at times with distance and with my self consiousness, I'm always worried shes out hooking up with other guys. I know deep down she isn't, but theres always that feeling. I'm sure everything will be fine man, just dont sweat it. Keep it cool, and when you see her again, it will be ten times better. Just look ahead to being with her and traveling with her. Don't think about the current situation too much.

-Chris

[Saliva4]

Thanks both of you for your replys. I really feel good today about the whole situation. Id write more but its 11pm and im nackered, maybe ill post in the morning.

thanks!