Relationship Advice

[mgyllenhal]

The reason I am here is because I am in need of some relationship advice. At 24 years old, I probably carry twice or more the amount of responsibility than most 24 years olds have to deal with. Since my family owns an international marketing firm, I have alot of things to deal with. Four years ago, my father resigned as the President/CEO of the company, and he asked me to take his position. I was more than blessed, and I have to tell you that my life has changed drastically since then, both in positive ways, and in negative ways. I don't want to get into how it has changed positively, but my problem is how it has changed negatively. Ever since I took this position four years ago, all my relationships have gone straight down the drain. I have been in 2 relationships since four years ago (which seems sad to some people), and none of them have worked out. The first relationship started out on the right foot. Me and the girl had great chemistry, and she was loving, sweet, caring, and everything I could ever ask for. We dated for about 4 months, and that is when things started going wrong. I don't mean to imply that we started boring each other, I mean to say that we had totally different lifestyles, and yet we discovered that so late into the relationship. Due to my hectic job, which includes traveling, going to meetings, managing a staff of 240 people, answering hundreds of phone calls a day, and so much more, the relationship did not work. I am simply way to busy, to meet her demands, and to give her what see wants. I barely saw her, maybe twice a week (considering she and I where lucky). We mainly communicated through email, phone calls, even text messaging. It kills me inside even today that I had to let go of such an amazing girl, for some stupid reason, atleast to me it is. Don't get the wrong idea here, I am more than thankful that I have the job I do, but I would like it to allow me to have a healthy social/love life. So that was the first girl. I meet another just as amazing girl, about 5 months later. Again, we started on the right foot. But as usual, the relationship hit bumpy rocks 7 months into the relationship. I don't want to get into details, but we broke up after approximately 8 months. So after that, a few years passed and here we are in 2004. I am sad to say that I have never dated any other girl after my breakup with the second girl. Sometimes I sit down and think to myself, is it my job that is interfering with my relationships? I mean before I took this job I dated women like crazy and my relationships lasted atleast 10 months. I wish to think my job has nothing to do with it, and it has to do with me personally. I really really want to start a healthy, loving, and hopefully long lasting relationship with a girl. I mean being single has its benefits, obviously. I have lots of "single life" fun with my guy friends, and my girl friends. But I would like to have a intimate relationship as well. I think to myself sometimes, is this how my life is going to be as long as I have this job? I am 24 years old, and im not saying I want to get married or anything, and definately not kids. I will leave those for later on, maybe when I approach my late 20's early 30's. So after boring you people with my life story, I would like some advice on what I can do to help this situation to some degree. I know quitting my job is probably going to popup, but I don't feel as if that is a choice. I could do that, but I don't want to let my family down. So I would appreciate alternatives, that exclude quitting my job. Thank you. Every opinion/advice is greatly appreciated. If you wish to contact me privately by email that is also fine with me. Thanks.
-Micheal Gyllenhal

[CalistaClap]

Have you ever thought of hiring an assistant to yourself that could take some of your resposiblitiy and leave you with a bit more free time? Even if it justs cuts your work time by an hour a day, that is an hour you could spend with your girlfriend.

Your right, working that much would be hard on a relationship. But you also have to find the kind of girl that can be a little leanient on that fact too.

[mgyllenhal]

Have you ever thought of hiring an assistant to yourself that could take some of your resposiblitiy and leave you with a bit more free time? Even if it justs cuts your work time by an hour a day, that is an hour you could spend with your girlfriend.

Your right, working that much would be hard on a relationship. But you also have to find the kind of girl that can be a little leanient on that fact too.



Dear Calista,
I see that you make good arguments. However, I already have numerous assistants, and even though it cuts down heavily on my part, I am still extremely busy. Besides, there are some issues that assistants can't deal with and I have to seek to them personally. Thanks for your suggestion, I greatly appreciate it.
-Micheal Gyllenhal

[eightball61]

Your job is very demanding and it will be hard to make a relationship work out. On other boards there have been women tht would come on and complain about the hours thier man works. Its nice to see the other side to things.

At your position it is hard to get other people to make those arrangements or work for you because you are the top guy to make a lot of the decision. A lot of times I am against dating at work but have you ever tried this course?

I will say dating at work is very hard if you are in a fight or breakup but on the positive side at least you get to see you parter everyday. No matter how you look upon it things will always be hard. You are a career man and you have a lot on your back. You position requires your full attention and that makes it hard to have a family or even to start a relationship. People that are not in your position don't see why you have to devote so much time and thats why the relationships don't last.

I wish I had better advice to offer here but in the position you are in its to hard to tell you because I am sure you don't want to give up your position.

[mgyllenhal]

Your job is very demanding and it will be hard to make a relationship work out. On other boards there have been women tht would come on and complain about the hours thier man works. Its nice to see the other side to things.

At your position it is hard to get other people to make those arrangements or work for you because you are the top guy to make a lot of the decision. A lot of times I am against dating at work but have you ever tried this course?

I will say dating at work is very hard if you are in a fight or breakup but on the positive side at least you get to see you parter everyday. No matter how you look upon it things will always be hard. You are a career man and you have a lot on your back. You position requires your full attention and that makes it hard to have a family or even to start a relationship. People that are not in your position don't see why you have to devote so much time and thats why the relationships don't last.

I wish I had better advice to offer here but in the position you are in its to hard to tell you because I am sure you don't want to give up your position.



Dear eightball61,
I do agree alot with you on many of the things you said. I know starting a relationship with a co-worker has its consequences, and that is why I have laid that off. Besides, since I am the boss at the workplace, I does not seem right to me to date my workers. Thank you for your suggestions, and advice, I greatly appreciate it.
-Micheal Gyllenhal

[eightball61]

Dear eightball61,
I do agree alot with you on many of the things you said. I know starting a relationship with a co-worker has its consequences, and that is why I have laid that off. Besides, since I am the boss at the workplace, I does not seem right to me to date my workers. Thank you for your suggestions, and advice, I greatly appreciate it.
-Micheal Gyllenhal


Excuse me if this comes out the wrong way but what exactly are you looking for or to do about this? Do you have any thoughts?

[mgyllenhal]

Excuse me if this comes out the wrong way but what exactly are you looking for or to do about this? Do you have any thoughts?


If I knew what I was going to do, I wouldn't be here right now. Atleast today I don't work, so I have time to spend outside of my hectic job, and brainstorm a little.

[CalistaClap]

Is there any way that you can do some of your work from home?

Even if it means having your laptop or paperwork on the coach while watching some tv with your g/f would be better then not seeing them at all.

Also, is your business the type that works closely with other businesses? Is there anyone that you have interest in dating who you see at work, but isn't necessarily YOUR employee?

[eightball61]

Is there any way that you can do some of your work from home?

?


Honestly though Calista do you think there are many girls out there like quality time as watching thier partner doing work?

[mgyllenhal]

Is there any way that you can do some of your work from home?

Even if it means having your laptop or paperwork on the coach while watching some tv with your g/f would be better then not seeing them at all.

Also, is your business the type that works closely with other businesses? Is there anyone that you have interest in dating who you see at work, but isn't necessarily YOUR employee?



Dear Calista,
You have a very good suggestion their, but my line of work requires me to do work from my office. And yes, my business does work with other businesses, but I don't see them very often, only at meetings which take place once a week. Other than that, my main form of communication with them is by email, telephone, mail, etc.

[eightball61]

Maybe on one of you bisiness trips you can look for a female figure that is in higher position like you and at least you all will have something in common.

[mgyllenhal]

Maybe on one of you bisiness trips you can look for a female figure that is in higher position like you and at least you all will have something in common.



Good idea. I am sure there is someone around my age who is in the same position as me. Although it will be difficuly, because most President/CEO's and other corporate executives are usually beyond their 20's and even 30's. Most of them are married, and are in there early 40's 50's maybe even older. I mean, it is possible for me to find someone, but you dont usually find 24 years old CEO's.

[eightball61]

Good idea. I am sure there is someone around my age who is in the same position as me. Although it will be difficuly, because most President/CEO's and other corporate executives are usually beyond their 20's and even 30's. Most of them are married, and are in there early 40's 50's maybe even older. I mean, it is possible for me to find someone, but you dont usually find 24 years old CEO's.


You may have to stretch for someone that is 30 but you will have to compromise with that. You are still only 24 years of age and anything or anyone can come into your life at anytime. Don't sweat bullets over it that much. If you get an opportunity then take it.

[mgyllenhal]

You may have to stretch for someone that is 30 but you will have to compromise with that. You are still only 24 years of age and anything or anyone can come into your life at anytime. Don't sweat bullets over it that much. If you get an opportunity then take it.



I understand, and yes I will even stretch until 40 years old. Besides, im not obligated to marry anyone, I still have plenty of time to choose. Thanks.

[eightball61]

I still have plenty of time to choose. Thanks.


Damn skippy, I am only 22 myself and I have a steady Gf but who knows what the future will hold. Take it one day at a time and take the opportunities that come. :cool:

[CalistaClap]

Honestly though Calista do you think there are many girls out there like quality time as watching thier partner doing work?

Probably not. But if he already had a g/f like the ones before, to me, seeing him while he is working at home is better than not seeing him at all. Just a thought.

[CalistaClap]

mgyllenhal,

Don't be to much of a rush to meet someone ,that you just settle for someone who isn't your type just so you can have a g/f.

Your bound to find someone eventually.

Ever thought of dating someone who also has a busy scheduale? Like maybe a college student or something? Alot of them too can only spare a night or two away from work, school & studying to have a relationship.

OR, you could try online dating.

[eightball61]

Probably not. But if he already had a g/f like the ones before, to me, seeing him while he is working at home is better than not seeing him at all. Just a thought.


Its actually a good thought but I just figured if he was to meet someone new and he is spending more time on his laptop than watching the movie with her then she may not understand. If she was willing to work it out and he explained what he does and what if offers for time then she would understand.

I think too that he shouldn't rush himself at only 24 and things should be taking course day by day.