Living Together

[lisa818181]

My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship since we met 16 months ago. We never really fight because we always talk about things before they get to the level where one or both of us gets upset. We listen to each other very well and are both considerate and caring. We spend 3-4 nights a week together (we live 45 mins apart) and are planning on moving in together in April when my lease is up here. I know it's the right choice because it doesn't feel right NOT to see him every day.

The only thing I'm at all concerned about is that he has never lived away from his parents' house before. I went to college and had several different roommates over the years, plus I have 3 roommates now, 2 guys and one girl, so I know how to live with other people. He doesn't know what that's like. He's always had other people do most of his shopping, cleaning and cooking and laundry and doesn't know how much things cost at the grocery store, etc. I think he'll adjust after a little while, he definitely won't make me do everything, but anyone have suggestions on ways to make an easy transition or ideas about how living together can change a relationship?

[eightball61]

You both share a special bond of communication. It may be wierd for him at first but he will eventually adjust to it. I know he has never lived away from family but its only 45 minutes away. What you both have to remember is keep the good communication going and things should be just fine.

Are you both moving in together or is he moving in with you other roomates?

[lisa818181]

We're getting an apartment, just the two of us. It will be somewhere between where I work and where he works. It's not really that he is afraid of being away from his parents, he will still be working 15 mins from their house anyway. Yeah, we communicate wonderfully, which definitely helps make every situation easier and better.

[eightball61]

Yeah, we communicate wonderfully, which definitely helps make every situation easier and better.



Thats all you need....It will be an adjustment and you both may have some disagreement of living style but that something you both will have to sit and talk about. Wait to see what happens when he moves in and if you see a problem then talk like you do and find a way to fix it.

You have a keeper :D

[lisa818181]

You have a keeper :D

I know I do, I feel so lucky! We're planning to get married in a couple of years, he already knows when he is going to propose, but is keeping it a secret :)

[CalistaClap]

I think that communication is definatly the major must have when living with your partner.

When I moved in with my b/f, it was my first time away from my parents home, and it was also 45 mins away from family, friends and work. I did ok.

I found out a lot of little things about him that I didn't know before. Some things got to be a bit irrataing (like throwing his dirty clothes on the floor BESIDE the hamper, lol) but nothing major.

THey say that people's true colors come out when you live with them, and it's true.

As long as you can be open and honest with each other, and accept when the other one tells you when something that you do bugs them, you will be fine.

It's really nice for a first timer moving out and suddenbly being able to come home to the face that you love so much.

I think it will be a positive experience for both of you.

Good Luck!! :)

[lisa818181]

Thanks Calista, I'm really excited about moving in with him; it will be wonderful to go to sleep next to him every night and come home from work to him every day. As it is now, most weeks I have to go 4 days at a time without seeing him and it just doesn't feel right. Plus my roommates make me a little crazy (I love them but they are major slobs) and I'll be glad to not live with them anymore, though we'll remain friends. I just wish I didn't have to wait 4 more months!

[eightball61]

Thanks Calista, I'm really excited about moving in with him; it will be wonderful to go to sleep next to him every night and come home from work to him every day. .


You feel the excitement coming and I believe you both will be just fine. There may be some set backs but its just the adjustment to him on living with someone else. Keep the communication pattern going and you will do just fine.

[Rich]

To lessen any miscommunication, you might want to lay out who is going to be responsible for what when you move in together.

Who will pay the rent? Who will pay the utilities? who will buy the food? Who will clean what? What happens if you break up? Whose name will go on the lease?

These are all questions that you shlould have answers too. If you were married and broke up, there are laws that govern what is to happen. If you're just dating and living together, then you might want to save bills and cancelled checks and stuff like that as proof of who paid for what.

In life you need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Be in love, but be practical.

Rich

www.awesomerelationships.com

[lisa818181]

Thanks Rich. We've already decided on who will do some things. For instance, I don't mind doing laundry, but I just HATE putting it away, and he's the opposite, so I'll wash and dry it and he'll fold and put it away. I will probably do a lot of the shopping and errands because I only work 1:30-6:30 and he works 8-5, so I have some time in the mornings. He'll usually get dinner started because he gets home earlier, etc. We also agree to take a look around before we go to bed and just straighten up a bit if it's messy. I've lived with slobby roommates long enough that I want a neat apartment, and he's a fairly neat person anyway.

We are planning to get married within the next few years, I know he is planning to propose sometime this year. We are effectively engaged although we haven't gone through the formality yet. The plan is to get an apartment together and stay for a few years till we can save enough money to buy a house. I'm planning to keep old bills and such just for my records, but there's almost no chance of us breaking up, we have an amazing relationship built on trust, communication, respect, love, attraction, and everything a relationship is supposed to have.

[eightball61]

Thanks Rich. We've already decided on who will do some things. For instance, I don't mind doing laundry, but I just HATE putting it away, and he's the opposite, so I'll wash and dry it and he'll fold and put it away. I will probably do a lot of the shopping and errands because I only work 1:30-6:30 and he works 8-5, so I have some time in the mornings. He'll usually get dinner started because he gets home earlier, etc. We also agree to take a look around before we go to bed and just straighten up a bit if it's messy. I've lived with slobby roommates long enough that I want a neat apartment, and he's a fairly neat person anyway.

We are planning to get married within the next few years, I know he is planning to propose sometime this year. We are effectively engaged although we haven't gone through the formality yet. The plan is to get an apartment together and stay for a few years till we can save enough money to buy a house. I'm planning to keep old bills and such just for my records, but there's almost no chance of us breaking up, we have an amazing relationship built on trust, communication, respect, love, attraction, and everything a relationship is supposed to have.


I see no problems here...You all have it all worked out. The best thing to do is go with a lan like you are here and just be prepared for any set backs but use that communication tool.

[CalistaClap]

Wow, it's so refreshing to read about people in such great relationships. I"m happy to hear it. :)

I hope everything works out wonderfully for you.

Just remember the main things, COMMUNICATION (being able to accpet the good along with the negative), PERSONAL SPACE (some time apart from each other can be just as important as time together...even if it's just a few hours), and RESPONSIBLITIY (make sure both of you are keeping up on what was agreed upon..bills, chores, etc).

ENJOY!