Question

[speedy]

My girlfriend for 5 years and almost 6 months broke up with me a week ago for some time to think about stuff, truly to see is there is anything with this other guy.
He's works with her and they have been "good" friends for about 8 months. The first time I noticed that there might be something there I told her to stop and she said I have no reason to misstrust her and nothing would happen.
Now after the break-up she tells me things change. But I guess I can't find myself to get over her and the things she keeps telling me all come out as lies. Like when she initially said she just wanted time for herself and doesn't want to have a relationship with anyone at this moment.
My question is, If your spending the night at this other guys house isn't that having a relationship?
I guess I'm hoping too much that she'll come back. I can put more information about the whole situation if need be so people get a better view of things.

[eightball61]

To answer your question I don't consider that a relationship if someone sleeps over the other persons house...

On the other hand though what you need to work on is yourself. What I am saying is that talking to her is doing you no good. You can't figure things out because you keep thinking of the lies and you face more when you talk to her.

The point is she broke it off for another man. Break-ups are not made to be easy. Its better she did this rather than cheat or continue to cheat. You need to stop talking to her because you are just getiing more hurt over this. I know its hard but you need to build you will power and move on.

[speedy]

Thanks eightball, I'll try not talking to her but it seems like if I don't she'll be gone forever, which would really suck for me, but I will try.

Is this the only option I have if I want her back?

[CalistaClap]

It's true. It hurts but she did leave you for someone else.

After she has put you through this misery of finding someone else, do you really want her back?

I would also say that you should just let her go. IF it was ment to be, she will be back.

You'll get through this.

[eightball61]

Thanks eightball, I'll try not talking to her but it seems like if I don't she'll be gone forever, which would really suck for me, but I will try.

Is this the only option I have if I want her back?


that may be the only option if you don't want this pain. After breakups its very rare for a couple to remain friends. What you suffered is a harsh break-up and thats hard to retain a friendship out of. You need to start thinking about recovery and and yourself.

[speedy]

I guess your both right but I don't want to just let go. I do have a ring that I want to put on her hand. I don't know how different its going to be if we do ever get back together. Maybe I will get over her. Just right now I don't see myself with anyone else.
Thanks again for replies.

[CalistaClap]

It's hard when one feels so strongly for the other and is ready to spend their life with them, when the other isn't feeling that at all.

You may be ready to settle down and get engaged, but she is proving that is not something she wants.

I wouldn't get your hopes up that she will be back. Focus on you and getting over her now. If you continue to live with the hope she will come back, and she doesn't, it will be disappointment all over again.

If in some chance she does come back to you, let it be a good surprise. Don't sit around and wait for something that may not happen.

Facing the reality of the break up tends to the the hardest part. Once you've realized it, then you can accept it and move on. It will take time for you to heal, but you will.

There is someone out there for you who wouldn't dream of leaving you for someone else. You will find them, but not if you keep hanging on to the past.

[eightball61]

Just right now I don't see myself with anyone else.



Thats why you are having such a hard time with this. You can't have something that isn't there. She left you for someone else. Its hard to except but its the reality of things. Right now she is there with him and staying.

You have a ring but thats not going to do anything on getting her back to you. It takes two and team work to make a successful relationship work. The factor you are missing is her.

Do what it takes to get over her. No one is telling you its going to be easy and eventually you mind will come to reality and realize this is what happened.

[CalistaClap]

I agree with you eightball.

Speedy, it's better that it happened now, then after you were married.

Or it's even better that it happened now then waiting until you proposed, and her declining.

Your going through the hardest part now, it will get better.