A HUGE Mess!!

[jeem]

Well it starts like this, I have a gf, a girl I like has a bf. She was wanting to leave him...we met up and cheated on our signifigant others. The truth came out and all of that. She says she really likes me and I make her happier than she has ever been.

But more so I am worried for this girl. He straight up told her he would never trust her ever again and never love her the same. But she wants to try to work it out so she can be 100% sure she wants to leave him and never have a "what if".

It gets worse, to get back at her, he is making her get an STD test...not for that just to shame her, he said he would take her on the busiest day of the week just to rub in her face what she has done. He has banned her from talking to me and ever seeing me. But he made her call me and tell me she would never do that (which I totally understand). But he is making her changer her phone number, made her give him all her passwords to e-mail, AIM, myspace, and other forums. She is NOT allowed to check any of this until he "gives" her permission. Well she has still been calling me, telling me she cant stop talking to me, and she really likes me and all that jazz. He found out, and now he will be checking her cell phone bill every month so he can see if my number is on there.

Now besides the fact that I know there is a loss of trust, besides me liking her. I honestly think he has gone WAY overboard, and I would call this an "unsafe" and even go as far as abusive to her. Because she has said he would never hit her, but she is scared of him. She is 21 so nothing can be done on my part but I just need to vent my feelings and seek advice.

If you need more details, I will give as much as I know. She said she will call me tomorrow so yeah.

[Rich]

This is all so dysfunctional. Hopefully you broke up with your GF as your feelings for her aren't what they should be and you should let her go.

This other girls BF is an asshole for even still wanting to be with a girl who has feelings for another guy. That right there shows that he lacks self esteem and self confidence as he should just drop her. Plus, it's not so much the fact that he is doing all of these things to this girl, but it's more the fact that she's capitualting and agreeing to go along with his demands.

Life's too short and you guys are making a soap opera out of this. You're all to young for considering marriagre, so this should all be about dating. Don't try to fit a square peg into a round hole. If you find yourself dating someone that your feelings are no longer stonger about, then just break up. It really is no big deal as life goes on and we're not destined to marry everyone that we meet. Just live and learn.

This other girl that you like needs to know this. Right now she's trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with her current BF. Quite obviously her feelings for him aren't the marrying kind if she has more feelings for you. She should move on.

[Rich]

This is all so dysfunctional. Hopefully you broke up with your GF as your feelings for her aren't what they should be and you should let her go.

This other girls BF is an asshole for even still wanting to be with a girl who has feelings for another guy. That right there shows that he lacks self esteem and self confidence as he should just drop her. Plus, it's not so much the fact that he is doing all of these things to this girl, but it's more the fact that she's capitualting and agreeing to go along with his demands.

Life's too short and you guys are making a soap opera out of this. You're all to young for considering marriagre, so this should all be about dating. Don't try to fit a square peg into a round hole. If you find yourself dating someone that your feelings are no longer stonger about, then just break up. It really is no big deal as life goes on and we're not destined to marry everyone that we meet. Just live and learn.

This other girl that you like needs to know this. Right now she's trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with her current BF. Quite obviously her feelings for him aren't the marrying kind if she has more feelings for you. She should move on.

[keepsgoin]

I'm trying to understand why is she staying with this guy that's only her BF...it's not her husband! Either she is more in love with him than you or she is staying because he's more able to give her the comforts of life. Does he have a much better job than you...I mean that is a big concern sometimes...sorry but it is! If not, I can only assume that she loves him more than you and you need to just not be so convenient. Also if she thinks you've had enough of this silliness from her and you've moved on(even if you really haven't) she may realize that she has to either S*** or get off the pot or she will lose you for good!

[jeem]

As far as money is concerned all of us are currently in college and that doesnt really matter right now. But I guess if you want to get into that, I make less than he does, but he likes to throw his money away on useless things.

Like I said, im getting to the point where I am over this thing with her. But I am mainly concerned for her well being, I mean I know I cant go do anything based on she is 21, its her choice, her life.

She tells me if she ever wants her and I to work it needs to be this way, because her family hates me right now for the whole cheating thing, and her family means a lot to her. I get that family means a lot, but not to the point of taking a bullet to make them happy with someone elses relationship. And I dont know if its all a show with her feelings for me because for saying how much she likes me. But yet is too afraid to act on anything.