Love lost.

[Stevo]

Do you think it is possible to move on if you're partner tells you they don't love you anymore, but wants to give it another shot?

~Stevo

[DulceMaria525]

That is a huge thing to deal with. I would certainly feel horrible about that. But i mean there is nothing you can do about that and frankly that is HUGELY unfair for your s/o to say "yeah but ill give you another shot" its like they dont love you but their willing to see if they can force themselves to!! That is the most wicked thing i have ever heard of.
What you need to do is FLEE! there is a whole world out there with someone just waiting and ready to love you UNCONDITIONALLY and without hesitation. You dont need to be a sitting duck for someone who doesnt love you!! that is the foundation of any relationship, without love it is nothing at all and it CANNOT be forced. EVER.

[Howard]

I would try to give it another shot but if they don't seem to care enough for you then I'd say to just move on with your life and find better women to date.

[Stevo]

Maybe I should have given more information.

So far we have been going out for about 2 and a bit years, and it's been the best experience of our lives (well she agrees anyway). Lately things haven't seemed right and I've been quiet and always concerned because I haven't known how she was feeling. Two nights ago we had a talk that was long overdue, and realised how much there was we weren't saying to each other. I asked her if she loved me anymore and she shook her head, and then I asked her if she was willing to give it another shot and she said she didn't know. Anyway after that we talked things through, and said all of the things we hadn't been saying to each other for the last few months, some of it was painful, but it really helped us understand why we were drifting apart. By the end of the night we had both agreed that we weren't willing to lose each other, and wanted to 'fight' for our relationship.

And so we both really decided to give it another shot. After that talk Im sure we both felt alot better, and since then she has been making every effort and we have been talking alot more than lately.

So far we've been progressing, but it is still very hard for me to stop picturing her shaking her head when I asked her if she still loved me. Another thing that annoyed me was that she had said she had been attracted to another guy, which is totally out of character for her because she never even looks at other guys usually (well Im sure she has, but you know, not like potential others, or as in being attracted to them). Those two things are going to be the hardest for me to get over, but I honestly think it's worth trying again, Im just not sure if it's going to work or not.

Thanks for the replies thus far guys.

~Stevo

[yourstruly]

Stevo,

I think it's definetly worth a shot. As long as you've got great communication skills between you, you just MIGHT be able to overcome your problems. But giving it a shot doesn't mean that it's definetly going to work. You've got to take the things that you discussed and WORK on them, and do things to get the love back. But it takes two. If one person gives up, then it's fruitless.

[DulceMaria525]

yourtruly has a point in that it takes two to tango. all i have to say hun is that if you truly want to work this out than you must keep your eyes peeled and be precautious... this whole thing with i dont love you anymore and im looking at other guys is a huge red flag for you. If i were in the situation i would leave. but i do not know what the whole deal is with you two.. if the 2 of you see potential in the relationship to flourish than just like stated above the TWO of you need to apply yourselves 100% if you start to see her not going with this thing full throttle it may just be about that time for you to jump on another boat my dear.:o

[keepsgoin]

I think that you can be really upset sometimes and just feel like the love has died...but it is possible to get it back if you both work on fixing what is hurting the relationship. She's falling out of love with you for some reason so you have to listen to what's wrong and do something about it. In my relationship, my BF lied to me and dang near killed all of the love I had for him...I didn't tell him I didn't love him(even though I felt like I didn't at the time!) but I did say that I didn't feel that same kind of love anymore. I really do love him though and I was able to forgive even though he hurt me deeply.

[eightball61]

Her shaking her head when you asked her about loving you will forever be imprinted in your mind. I don't want to discurage you because it's worth the shot but if she has lost her love for you then it's going to take time for her to regain those feelings.

If you both want to give it a shot together then you both will need to work together. You both will need to be open and try to find what was lost and how it occurred. Once you both have that part figured out then it's time to move foward but if you see no change over time then either she will let you know or you'll get the vibe that things are not working out.

Maybe she just needs some time & space before giving it another shot.....

[amorista]

yes i agree i think it could work to i myself am going through a simular situation with my bf he wanted to leave twice but now we have talked alot about everything and since then now we are doing better than ever were actually even ingaged now, so it all depends on if you really do love that person if you really think there is somthing there talk to your partner tell them how you feel and that you really think you can make it work. when my bf thought he was losing his love for me and wanted to leave i just reminded him of how great it was and could be if he just tries, all relationships take work and time and alot of the time you dont know what you got till its gone so i always say never give up on love. You just need to do somthin romantic bring back the spark..and be faithful in yourself!

[Stevo]

Hey guys,

I just wanted to thank you for your advice and lending me your ears, it really helped. It was really hard and you guys saying there might be a chance gave me a great deal of hope, even if you are complete strangers. Anyway I thought maybe I should give an update. It's been about 3 and a half weeks, and things are going alot better. It's been hard and I still have alot of insecurities because of the incident, but we are talking alot more now, so it's coming together again and I think I'm slowly winning her back over. She's putting in the effort as well. Anyway in case anyone else is going through something similar, I thought I'd update and say there is hope!

Thanks again guys.

~Stevo

[Howard]

Hey guys,

I just wanted to thank you for your advice and lending me your ears, it really helped. It was really hard and you guys saying there might be a chance gave me a great deal of hope, even if you are complete strangers. Anyway I thought maybe I should give an update. It's been about 3 and a half weeks, and things are going alot better. It's been hard and I still have alot of insecurities because of the incident, but we are talking alot more now, so it's coming together again and I think I'm slowly winning her back over. She's putting in the effort as well. Anyway in case anyone else is going through something similar, I thought I'd update and say there is hope!

Thanks again guys.

~Stevo


See Steve,Just as long as that girl loves you emotionally,you'll do fine.;)