to comfortable? or just dont care?

[minnie]

ive been with my partner for two years.we were blissfully happy for a year, then i do not know what went wrong, he became distant, i noticed things day by day that made me realize that maybe he wasnt as in love with me as id thought, once my rose tinted glasses came off i got more and more desperate. we dont live together on the basis that he is unemployed and refuses to work, his future plans are involving me going to work and him managing the house as the fear of getting up before noon scares him. he can sometimes not call for a day even two and its usually me that breaks that up. another concearn i have is....when we met his views on adult magazines were non existant but 1 year into our relationship his computer is full of the stuff, i know many women might say its a guy thing i think that to however, it was a year before we had as i had my doubts whether to or not, in a remainder of say half a year we have had 6 times, when ever we spend nights alone from 9pm he usually tends to his computer and resites there all night till around about 3am which im guessing as thats when the lights go out (obviously im usually asleep) but on the odd occassion ive waited up he gets in bed and rolls over? besides all my concearns one hurts me deeply and that is that hes never told me he loves me first, ive never had to say 'i love you to' strange? its obvious his attraction for me has long gone but without sounding highly big headed i cant see how, im a model and have plenty of his guy freinds that would love to be with me. where did i go wrong!?

[CalistaClap]

Wow, can you say lack of modivation?

First off, you should let his idea of you supporting this man continue. He has no reason to want to stay home other than pure laziness. Sure there are stay at home "dads" but they usually happen because 1. there are children and 2. the wife has the same paying if not better paying job. He NEEDS to work. If he can't see it possible to get up before noon, then he can get a night job.

Secondly, besides a fraction of companionship, what are you getting for the good out of this relationship? To me it sounds like all you are getting is being ignored.

To me his lack of modivation, and pure laziness would be a major turn off.

Do you really want this lifestyle for yourself? For now, and possible for the long haul? I know I couldn't do it.

You say that you are an attractive person. Do yourself a favor, cut this one loose, and find yourself a decent man.

[eightball61]

You didn't do anything that went wrong. There a are many relationships where spouses usually lack off for sometime. The spark is just gone....All I can do is offer ways to maybe guide the spark to be relit.

You can try

1. relationship/marriage counseling
2. communication
3. teamwork
4. working together in spending at least an hour a night together
5. You plan something special for one day and he does the same
6. go for walk
7. ect.

[Rich]

You need to have an honest conversation with your partner and bring all issues to the table. But before you do that you need to be honest with yourself as to what you want and don't want. What's acceptable to you and what isn't.

After speaking together you both need to make a decision as to what direction you want to go. If the decision is to get out, then now is a good time as there are no children involved.

Right now I can see that your relationship needs help in: communication, respect, affection, caring, passion, happiness, honesty, openness, friendship, maturity, conversation, attentiveness, intimacy and appreciation. Just to name a few.

How would you rate those areas of your relationship? Think you could ever have those in your relationship? Those are just some of my 33 ingredients that go into making an awesome relationship. If you don't have it and don't feel that you ever will, then the writing is on the wall.

Good luck.

Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com

[meeka]

ive been with my partner for two years.we were blissfully happy for a year, then i do not know what went wrong, he became distant, i noticed things day by day that made me realize that maybe he wasnt as in love with me as id thought, once my rose tinted glasses came off i got more and more desperate. we dont live together on the basis that he is unemployed and refuses to work, his future plans are involving me going to work and him managing the house as the fear of getting up before noon scares him. he can sometimes not call for a day even two and its usually me that breaks that up. another concearn i have is....when we met his views on adult magazines were non existant but 1 year into our relationship his computer is full of the stuff, i know many women might say its a guy thing i think that to however, it was a year before we had as i had my doubts whether to or not, in a remainder of say half a year we have had 6 times, when ever we spend nights alone from 9pm he usually tends to his computer and resites there all night till around about 3am which im guessing as thats when the lights go out (obviously im usually asleep) but on the odd occassion ive waited up he gets in bed and rolls over? besides all my concearns one hurts me deeply and that is that hes never told me he loves me first, ive never had to say 'i love you to' strange? its obvious his attraction for me has long gone but without sounding highly big headed i cant see how, im a model and have plenty of his guy freinds that would love to be with me. where did i go wrong!?
I would have to agree with Rich, in that you need to talk! but in all honesty! you also need to work out if this is the type of relationship that you want! if not can things improve? do you want things to improve? Go back to basics and work out what your needs are from a relationship and what you willing to contibute! Then you need to work out how to achieve what you want! This could mean that you have some tough decisions to make and only you can make them! as you are responsible for your happiness and you have the right to decide on the type of life that you live! Only you can decide on what you are willing to accept from others! You need to decide if you have settled for someone that is not good for you! remembering that you are worthy of someone to love you, that you are a beautiful person and you deserve to be treated with well! and that maybe he does not love you, but then someone out there is waiting to love you, but they can't get to you because your are in this relationship! You need to go get some of the love that you deserve!

[eightball61]

[COLOR=Navy]I would have to agree with Rich, in that you need to talk!


Thats is true and communication is the best link but if the other partner is not willing to talk that makes things extremely difficult. There is only so much that she as a person can do. Relationships take team work and if one is giving up or not putting in any foot then it may be time to let go. I am currently in that situation and its tough.