wife caught me on the net

[alone and devas]

my wife found out that i had filled out a couple profiles on adult friend finder () type websites. one i did 3 months ago and the other 8. both were on a lark. kind of a frustrated rant about not feeling attractive to my wife.
i never joined the site or communicated with anyone on it but i did fill out the profile. i was frustrated with the lack of that had been going on for a year.
i never had any intent of carrying it any further.
but she has kicked me out of the house and said there is no going back.
she is devastated and calls me every two minutes crying and telling me we won't get back together and i ruined her life.
i am shredded by all of this.
she has agreed to go see a counselor on monday with me.
any advice on all this?

[keepsgoin]

You're on the right track with the counselor, that means that she is willing to get back together....she's lucky that you didn't just go and have an affair, many men do when their wives for some reason decide isn't important in the marriage anymore. That's one of those things that is so baffling to me...why do women so often think it's OK to cut their husbands off from making love? Ladies...that ain't OK!!!!!!!!!! BTW...I'm female. Back to the profile thing...shame on you for doing that...I can understand why but it's still bad...if you want to be with someone else you should get out of the marriage first. Affairs hurt too many people!

[alone and devas]

Back to the profile thing...shame on you for doing that...I can understand why but it's still bad...if you want to be with someone else you should get out of the marriage first. Affairs hurt too many people!
thanks for your response. i understand what i did was bad, but after so long of a lack of intimacy, i was really down on myself and this was a way - i thought - of making myself feel better without hurting anyone. i know i shouldnt have done it. i never would have had an affair. i never carried through with it. do you think she'll understand?

[Rich]

Sounds like your marriage sucks and you now have a chance to set it straight. Go to counseling and don't let her put everything on you. Your marriage had issues which is what drove you to do what you did. Those are the issues that need to be worked on.

Time to lay it all out on the table and say what needs to be said. Tell everything that you want changed in the marriage. Of course she'll be doing the same thing, so be prepared to make changes yourself.