bassoon86
01-13-2005, 05:43 AM
Hi.. this is my first post ever... so I apologize if its in the wrong place.
I recently broke up with my b/f, lets call him terry, of 3 weeks. Terry and me had known each other for 3 years.. all of which we worked in the same restaurant together. For about the last 2 years we've become really good friends and the past 6 months we've been hanging out and acting a little bit more than friends but nothing was official. 3 weeks ago he asked me out.. and it seemed like nothing could make my life any better. Those 3 weeks we were with each other all of the time, we called each other like 2 times a day... it appeared fine. Terry came over and spent the night at my house on New Years. The day after that he had to go back to work-- and this is where my problem began. I knew something was wrong on Weds night of last week when Terry seemed to be avoiding me.. why I was unsure. I decided maybe hes just trying to work something out... or perhaps hes just worried about his dad who might loose his job. Sunday night I still hadn't recieved a response or anything from him.. so I decided it was time to confront him about it. I found him at work.. and we went to a room where we could shut the door. We started discussing things generally about our relationship when he started bringing up his feelings.. this is when I stopped talking just wanting to hear him out. Basically terry said that he really liked me and was happy that we were as close to each other as we were. But that we were spiritually incompatible "unequally yoked" as he later defined it... and that was the final thing that he needed to put in place to be able to really commit. He said in everything else we were so remarkably compatible but thats what was holding him back. He than continued to tell me that he had talked to his roommate.. b/c his roommate was curious as to where I went to church (he knew I was religious and terry is as well)... terry told his roommate and his roommate nearly spit his juice across the room. Once his roommate had recovered he told terry that he could no longer date me and that there was no way we should/could date with the situation the way it was. So we split up. I was ok with it, it was true, we do believe different things.. and farther down the road it would have caused problems. I went home, didnt cry, havent cried yet, and started talking to a friend of mine. An hour later Terry sent me this email.. all it said was "Im sorry!!!!" Well.. during the conversation I had with him an hour ago he offered to sit down and talk to me about our beliefs.. and I decided.. perhaps I will take him up on the offer. So I wrote him back saying that if he wanted to tell me the time/place/and what exactly wed talk about.. Id be there. So.. Im thinking.. at least I'll get a "really good friend" out of this (he said he wanted to remain really good friends). Yesterday morning I get this new email from terry. It basically says "I do believe we Can work things out... I believe its possible.. we should sit down and talk about this.I guess I havent realized how much you do like me. I can see things working out..... " and than at the very end it states "Please give it time.... sometimes the hardest thing to do when you "love" someone is to let them go but when the time is right they will come back to you..". He also sent an email to my best friend stating "I dont know how much she likes me do I?" Personally I do not know what to think anymore about this situation. One day hes completely "we'll never be able to work through this" and the next hes "we'll be able to work through this".... why the sudden change of mind? I'm totally lost and would appreciate any insight into this entire thing if someone could provide it to me.
I recently broke up with my b/f, lets call him terry, of 3 weeks. Terry and me had known each other for 3 years.. all of which we worked in the same restaurant together. For about the last 2 years we've become really good friends and the past 6 months we've been hanging out and acting a little bit more than friends but nothing was official. 3 weeks ago he asked me out.. and it seemed like nothing could make my life any better. Those 3 weeks we were with each other all of the time, we called each other like 2 times a day... it appeared fine. Terry came over and spent the night at my house on New Years. The day after that he had to go back to work-- and this is where my problem began. I knew something was wrong on Weds night of last week when Terry seemed to be avoiding me.. why I was unsure. I decided maybe hes just trying to work something out... or perhaps hes just worried about his dad who might loose his job. Sunday night I still hadn't recieved a response or anything from him.. so I decided it was time to confront him about it. I found him at work.. and we went to a room where we could shut the door. We started discussing things generally about our relationship when he started bringing up his feelings.. this is when I stopped talking just wanting to hear him out. Basically terry said that he really liked me and was happy that we were as close to each other as we were. But that we were spiritually incompatible "unequally yoked" as he later defined it... and that was the final thing that he needed to put in place to be able to really commit. He said in everything else we were so remarkably compatible but thats what was holding him back. He than continued to tell me that he had talked to his roommate.. b/c his roommate was curious as to where I went to church (he knew I was religious and terry is as well)... terry told his roommate and his roommate nearly spit his juice across the room. Once his roommate had recovered he told terry that he could no longer date me and that there was no way we should/could date with the situation the way it was. So we split up. I was ok with it, it was true, we do believe different things.. and farther down the road it would have caused problems. I went home, didnt cry, havent cried yet, and started talking to a friend of mine. An hour later Terry sent me this email.. all it said was "Im sorry!!!!" Well.. during the conversation I had with him an hour ago he offered to sit down and talk to me about our beliefs.. and I decided.. perhaps I will take him up on the offer. So I wrote him back saying that if he wanted to tell me the time/place/and what exactly wed talk about.. Id be there. So.. Im thinking.. at least I'll get a "really good friend" out of this (he said he wanted to remain really good friends). Yesterday morning I get this new email from terry. It basically says "I do believe we Can work things out... I believe its possible.. we should sit down and talk about this.I guess I havent realized how much you do like me. I can see things working out..... " and than at the very end it states "Please give it time.... sometimes the hardest thing to do when you "love" someone is to let them go but when the time is right they will come back to you..". He also sent an email to my best friend stating "I dont know how much she likes me do I?" Personally I do not know what to think anymore about this situation. One day hes completely "we'll never be able to work through this" and the next hes "we'll be able to work through this".... why the sudden change of mind? I'm totally lost and would appreciate any insight into this entire thing if someone could provide it to me.