advice please

[justme]

I have been dating a guy for almost 4 years and we do live together. He is a really nice guy but i don't see myself, or him for that matter, being as happy as we could be. Lately i have been thinking that we would make better friends then lovers. I just really don't see him that way, maybe i never really did i'm not sure. I think i would make a better friend to anyone then i would make a girlfriend. I have decided to go back to school and at this time i would rather just concentrate on that. I really like him but i think it is more in a friend kind of way. I don't want to hurt him but at this point it is probably unavoidabable. I don't know what to do but i feel like the longer i let it go on the more of his time i am wasting. I'm not worried about myself but i am really worried about hurting him. In a way i kind of feel selfish because right now i really don't want to share myself with anyone besides myself

[eightball61]

You do need to be single for sometime right now. The longer you wait though the longer its unfair to him. Its best you just tell him to get it out of the way. I can't garentee a friendship after this but at least you got what you wanted for the time being.

It is hard and breakups are not made to be easy. You know whats right and I beleive you have the right mindset to do it. If you wanted more then I would see it but you need out and space.

Relationships are the building process to the future. You dont see him in that kind of future so you need to pick someone else.

[Rich]

Justme, at least you're being honest with yourself, about yourself. Your BF might not like it and breaking off might not be easy, but it's what needs to happen here.

Bite the bullet and break the news. Just tell him what you told us here. That you just want to be on your own right now.

Rich

[CalistaClap]

I agree. You owe it to him to be honest with him.

The onger and more serious the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. I think it all depends on how in love he is with you.

Also, the friends thing may take awhile to happen. Let him get over his hurting before you attept to hang out as friends.

[justme]

I am having a hard time getting the courage to say anything :(

[eightball61]

I am having a hard time getting the courage to say anything :(



Why you so scared? Are you afraid to be alone?

[justme]

no, afraid of hurting him.

[eightball61]

no, afraid of hurting him.


Dont you think staying with him having these thoughts hurt him also.

[meeka]

This is a difficult one! and I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation! I'm no expert, but if I was in your situation I would have to make sure that I was clear in my own head about how I feel! I would take the time to re-evaluate the relationship, how things are between you? could things get better between you? is so how? etc...then if I was certain that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him, then I would let him know and let him go! (I know this is easier said than done!) It's not about hurting him! as staying in a relationship that needs to end just because you are afraid of hurting him will not help anyone! If you do decide to end things, he more than likely will be hurt, that's life unfortunately, but at least you are freeing him so that he can go find someone that loves him back! I hope things work out for you!