jpr5287
01-18-2005, 02:40 PM
hey guys, not sure how often these boards are browsed, or if people even reply, but i came here because i was curious how others would handle the predicament im currently in.
i started going out with this girl, a month passes, and she tells me that one of the reasons we cant say we love eachother is my lack of trust for her. she stated that trust will be the killer of our relationship, and boy do those words sound correct, anyway..i have huge trust issues, i always have a guard up, and cant trust more then a handfull of people. im also always reminded/thinking about her past, and the others she has shared a ual relationship with, because these guys still contact her, via phone, instant msg, etc.
the past 2 weeks i have not been able to even go in her bedroom, it was forbidden, whereas earlier we would go in often. the day i do go in, i find some sweatshirt that belongs to a guy. she gives me the story of how it was some guys and that she had it since the summer...ok. guess i bought it? i asked if she had done anything with him before, or had any feelings for this one in particular. She replied no, nothing, no ual past, no feelings, nothing at all. see, we would talk about her past, and i would ask who she has been with for curiousity, and precautionary measures. and she would tell me who she has been with exactly.
only till a few days ago, i told her, you know what? i do have a guard up with many reasons, but its in your hands now, im putting all my trust into you, its all in your hands now. (letting this happen took a lot because i was always afraid of her contacts with these guys who she had shared a ual past with)
well last night, i was on her computer and stumble upon a saved instant message. it was my gf, and the owner of the sweatshirt. and unfortunatly i learned that she did indeed have a ual past (or present) with him, in which she l ied to me on several occasions about. -- when confronted she of course denied it to my face, 3 times, looked me in the eye and said no i did nothing, where her conversation stated otherwise.
She eventually caved that night after i left immediently after and said she wanted to keep it away from me, she didnt want me to know. She then also told me about another guy she had a ual past with because she didnt want me to know about that either..
Along the conversation we had, she stated: "Why would i tell you that? it wouldnt better our relationship" which now makes me think, well hey, if cheating on me doesnt make our relationship better, what is stopping her to keep it away from me, or tell me at all.
Now she says she wants a second chance,and how i should take her word, when i had trust issues in the past before i even let it all in her hands, and have her control her own destiny regarding our trust level.
To be honest, im really not totally convinced shes not having a ual relationship currently with this guy, who she says was months ago.
what should i do?
i started going out with this girl, a month passes, and she tells me that one of the reasons we cant say we love eachother is my lack of trust for her. she stated that trust will be the killer of our relationship, and boy do those words sound correct, anyway..i have huge trust issues, i always have a guard up, and cant trust more then a handfull of people. im also always reminded/thinking about her past, and the others she has shared a ual relationship with, because these guys still contact her, via phone, instant msg, etc.
the past 2 weeks i have not been able to even go in her bedroom, it was forbidden, whereas earlier we would go in often. the day i do go in, i find some sweatshirt that belongs to a guy. she gives me the story of how it was some guys and that she had it since the summer...ok. guess i bought it? i asked if she had done anything with him before, or had any feelings for this one in particular. She replied no, nothing, no ual past, no feelings, nothing at all. see, we would talk about her past, and i would ask who she has been with for curiousity, and precautionary measures. and she would tell me who she has been with exactly.
only till a few days ago, i told her, you know what? i do have a guard up with many reasons, but its in your hands now, im putting all my trust into you, its all in your hands now. (letting this happen took a lot because i was always afraid of her contacts with these guys who she had shared a ual past with)
well last night, i was on her computer and stumble upon a saved instant message. it was my gf, and the owner of the sweatshirt. and unfortunatly i learned that she did indeed have a ual past (or present) with him, in which she l ied to me on several occasions about. -- when confronted she of course denied it to my face, 3 times, looked me in the eye and said no i did nothing, where her conversation stated otherwise.
She eventually caved that night after i left immediently after and said she wanted to keep it away from me, she didnt want me to know. She then also told me about another guy she had a ual past with because she didnt want me to know about that either..
Along the conversation we had, she stated: "Why would i tell you that? it wouldnt better our relationship" which now makes me think, well hey, if cheating on me doesnt make our relationship better, what is stopping her to keep it away from me, or tell me at all.
Now she says she wants a second chance,and how i should take her word, when i had trust issues in the past before i even let it all in her hands, and have her control her own destiny regarding our trust level.
To be honest, im really not totally convinced shes not having a ual relationship currently with this guy, who she says was months ago.
what should i do?