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View Full Version : Urgently need help!


jenna
08-02-2006, 04:19 PM
I am so lost and confused. My relationship was good up until about a month ago. We had the odd fight here and their, but that is normal. The last month has been hell and I am starting to question whether or not I should marry this man. We are supposed to be getting married in only a couple of months. He has had the shortest fuse ever and we have fought almost everyday. Not just fights either, extreemly emotionally abusive, throwing his weight around, really bad. Last night he acctualy covered my mouth shut telling me to listen to him with our son in my arms. I know that I do cause some of the fighting, as we have issues I want to discuss, but its, "not right now, or I was fine for the first 1/2 hour of your nagging and now I am mad, so its your fault." I don't think wanting to discuss feelings and issues in the relationship is nagging. What I wanted to discuss was I went into his e-mail account and sound a confirmation of account on a personals site, and naturally I have questions. He denied the whole thing, saying he didn't do it, well I saw his profile, from the info on the e-mail, he said it must be a computer glitch and he has no recolection of going to the sight and swears (not in a very polite way) he is not or biual. Yesturday was only the day after it happened and the second time trying to discuss it as when I found it and confronted him we talked for about 15 minutes(which he was just dening everything) and then he flipped out. The day before I found it however, we had a great day together as a family, it was wonderful, like how it was before. Since this incedent his password has been changed, which is fine because I shouldn't be doing that anyways, but it makes me feel like he is hiding things. He has access to my account. I am just so sad, 2 months ago I was on top of the world, I felt so secure and our relationship was great. Before this I could probably honestly say that we had a better relationship then most, very happy. We have been together for 4 years. The last mounth has also been extreemly financally stressful for us, and their were a couple of incedents that happend with his family that really hurt him, so I think that part of his anger is sourounding that too, but he has never flipped out on me before the way he is this months. The neighours were so concerned that they were going to call the cops, he always says sorry afterwards and say he doesn't mean to take his anger out on me, but after everything he has said to me in anger, attacks everything about me and makes me feel worthless, I just don't know. I love this man with all my heart, I can't even strat to process everthing, my brain is just fussy, please help me if you can. Thanks so much:confused:

jef4392000
08-02-2006, 05:10 PM
Hi Jenna--How long have you been in this relationship? Since I guess you two have a child together, I would suggest getting with an experienced family counselor, and long before the wedding. Arguments like the ones you describe can quickly turn physical, and that would not be good. A counselor may be able to control the anger so the two of you can have a productive discussion of these issues. If money is a problem right now, even a church elder, or hospital social worker may be able to help. Good Luck.

jenna
08-02-2006, 05:17 PM
Thanks, we have been together 4 years, and we have been to one counselling session, however I am not to talk about the"abuse" side of things as at our first visit she told us if their are any abuse issues she has to report it. It would affect his career. I really don't think he would phsically harm me, but he has threatened it, and I was in an abusive relationship before him, when he has been angry in the last few fights, he has said "why did those guys hit you, huh, why" He has shoved me a bit, but I really think that is as far as he would go phsically, its the emotional stuff that is worse to my anyways