whats he trying to do to me??

[loveisblind]

hi all, im goin to keep this short because its a long story if i go into detail, basically i was with my ex for 3 years. last year he decided he didnt no wot he wanted/how he felt. we spoke about it and he decided he loves me so we decided to c how it gos. a few months later he said he didnt want to be with my anymore that he loves me but is not in love with me. so we split up (in which time he dated another girl) a couple months later he was beggin me back saying what a mistake hed made how he didnt realise what hed got etc, was willing to giv up alot- freinds, football goin out etc so after a few weeks i decided id give him a seconed chance. 9 months later hes done it again, said he doesnt no how he feels/what he wants so has broke it off and we decided we will be freinds? waht goin throu his head, why does he keep doin this to me?:confused:

[coach]

Only your ex can tell you what is "going through his head", but based on what you have written, it sounds as if he is just not ready to settle down into a committed relationship.

Having been uncertain in the past, he tried another relationship but then wanted you back, however, he is now repeating that behaviour. So will he have the temerity to ask you to 'forgive and forget' if he tires of his next g/f?

However, will you be prepared to take him back if he does repeat the process?

I think you need to try and work out what is going on with this relationship - for example, is he "taking a break" so that he can have other relationships without being accused of cheating on you?

Ok, he may have genuine doubts about what he wants, but how much are you prepared to put up with while he discovers what he wants?

I do wonder how this 'on and off' pattern will affect your self-confidence and self-esteem. The only way you can control how he treats you, is to not allow yourself to be treated this way.

When a relationship involves a lot of 'attachment' and feelings differ between the couple, I don't think staying friends is necessarily the best way of breaking up. It may be that he wants to keep you around in order to keep his options open, but then you are possibly going to stay attached more in hope than anything else.

Based on what you have written, my advise is for you to think seriously about making a clean break with a period of no-contact so that you can allow yourself to let go of this relationship at an emotional level.

I know it may sound the more painful option at the moment, but in the longer term, I think you will find it to be by far the best way of protecting yourself from further hurt while you work at moving on.