I think my boyfriend wants to leave me

[kat1986]

My boyfriend and I had a big fight last night. I know it was my fault and i admitted it was my fault and applogised. The problem was he was busy and couldnt see him and i got over emotional and sent a few too many text msgs and pissed him off, the problem is this has happened before. We've been together for almost 2 yrs and i think we could spend the rest of our lives together but now he doesn't know if he wants to be with me ne more. I love him so much and i cant imagine my life without him but right now i dont know what to do. Should i give him space, or should i try to say sorry more. i just dont know what to do, i really dont want to lose him. if ne one has ne advice it would be great.

[coach]

If someone ends a relationship because they get a few text messages, then I would say they are probably looking for a reason to end things.

But perhaps it was more to do with what you said in the text messages?

You say you became "over emotional" and I do wonder what that means?

With so little information it's difficult to know whether your b/f lacks commitment, or whether perhaps you are pushing him away by being too demanding and clingy.

If you want to continue with the relationship I would suggest you have an honest discussion with your b/f about how your needs and expectations fit with his commitment to the relationship. If he does have some real commitment but feels you are being too demanding or unreasonable at times, then you have a choice over whether you are prepared to make some changes for the sake of the relationship.

If you do feel you are being too demanding, then you need to be honest with yourself about why that is. Maybe you are insecure in yourself, or perhaps this particular relationship is just not that reliable and you have good cause not to trust in it?

Another possibility is that there is some kind of power struggle going on between the two of you and both of you are vying for control?

Quite often, the person with the least commitment to a relationship has the potential to use their lack of attachment as a way of wielding power. For some people, threatening to end the relationship can be a tactic for getting their own way.

If you are in the wrong, then saying "sorry" is always the best way forward in my opinion. However, saying "sorry" without any intention of trying to avoid the same problem surfacing in the future can make an apology seem insincere.

But if it is just that your needs are incompatible with your b/f’s, then you have nothing to apologise for. Rather, you need some honest communication over what your respective needs and hopes are, and if there is enough common ground to make the relationship viable, how you can work together to improve things.

So my advice is to ask your b/f to make some time (obviously when he has time available) so that you can have a real discussion about where the relationship is going and what can be done to make things better for the both of you.

If he has given up on the relationship, or maybe never had any real commitment to it, then the sooner you know that, the sooner you can begin coming to terms with things so that you can move on.

[Howard]

I think you really want to be with him so what's wrong with apologizing more? Maybe you could keep on persuing him or you could just end it,It's up to you.