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View Full Version : with the ex-and he has a girlfriend!!!


Jenasis7776
09-24-2006, 02:04 PM
Ok, i really really need advice...well, my emotionally abusive and bipolar ex-boyfriend and i broke up about 2 months ago after a 3 year relationship...this guy was horrible-he abused me verbally and physically, treated me like a slave and basically broke up with me because i didnt "listen"...he had his really nice days where he was great to me, and thats what kept me coming back...anyways, 3 days after he broke up with me he met a very young girl (shes 9 years younger than him, he is 27)..well, it took him a month to give me my stuff back, and basically have not had any contact with him for the past month...so here comes the drama...friday night i went out with a guy friend and my ex was there with his girlfriend and i got all flustered - he tried to hide but i saw him clear as day and he saw me...after that my friend and i went to this party and i got really drunk, and thought it would be a good idea to call my ex, and he talked to me - he said things like "you have no idea how bad i want you" and "i love you", but said he couldnt be with me...i hung up and was on my way to bed when he called and said he was going to pick me up in 10 minutes and to be ready...naturally i went because i was drunk and wanted to see him...he grabbed me and kissed me and i told him that he cant do this - he has a girlfriend! and he didnt even flinch...he took me home with him, told me that his girlfriend is a prude because she is a virgin and wont have with him, and he hasnt even tried, and kept saying things like how great i look, how his girlfriend is like a little girl and i am a woman, how much of a turn on i am, etc, etc, and he told me that "he loves her, but is not IN love with her, but she makes him happy"...he kept asking me if ive had with anyone else and got like kinda jealous ...we had the entire night and he said that he wanted to ravage me - and did everything under the sun together...in the morning we had like another 3 or 4 times and he was completely coherent and didnt stop himself or anything...in the morning when he brought me home, i asked him if he was going to tell his girlfriend and he said he'd take care of it (i found out that he DIDNT tell her)...and he didnt act like he cared what he did to her at all and he told me to "stay out of his life" and was really mean and nasty to me...after that i discovered what i am NOT missing and what a horrible person he is, but i am just confused...what does this all mean?? why would he cheat on his girlfriend and lie to her about it?? is someone who cheats really happy with the person they are with?? any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!

coach
09-24-2006, 11:23 PM
This guy sounds a nasty piece of work and my guess is that he could feel happy with his relationship and cheat just for the hell of it.

I suspect your thoughts about how happy he is with his new g/f are an indication that you hope he is not happy with her so that he might come back to you?

If that is the case, I find it really sad.

Take a lipstick and write across the top of your mirror: I DESERVE BETTER, and then whenever he comes into your thoughts, take a look at you in the mirror, read those words, and put him out of mind.

He's a jerk, feel sorry for his new g/f and thank your lucky stars that you are not where she is.

Jenasis7776
09-24-2006, 11:52 PM
the fact is, after the other nite, i dont even want him - i found myself not even attracted to him really anymore and the way he handled himself by not telling his gf the truth just shows me what kind of man he truly is - and that he is not a good man...dont get me wrong, i feel horrible for that girl and have a conscience, but i cant go back...all i know is that if he was happy with her and loved her, he wouldnt even have been capable of cheating and lying to her, plain and simple...i dont want this, i want a good man...and i feel terrible for the girl

coach
09-25-2006, 09:07 AM
Well sometimes life teaches us valuable lessons through hard experiences - if what happened the other night shone a light on aspects of this guy's character that you hadn't seen before, then I would say that was a valuable experience. Maybe you saw how easily you could have been in his new g'f's shoes.

His new g/f will no doubt learn about him through painful experiences also.

I'm a little puzzled by the way you see his actions: to my way of thinking, it was the deed that betrayed her, not the fact that he didn't tell her.

I can appreciate that no matter how big a jerk he is, it may take time for you to get over him - very often it takes time for our hearts to catch up with our heads, and the attachments we make can take time to break.

I hope you have more luck with your next partner.