young and confused help me

[wetdrawl18]

:confused: Can someone help me im 19 and my fience is 18 i took her virginity last year in january 04 its now january 05 we have had throughtout the year and i finally started talking with my cousin again my fience tells me he sent her a text message saying he wanted to have with her thats all now not even a relationship she sayes she wants to explore try somthing new() with someone else but she doesnt want to break up with me and i dont want to leave her what do i do :confused:

[eightball61]

You have 2 options here....You allow this to happen and you bang your head with thoughts about it in the furture. Or you can do what I would do is leave her because she is not caring for you. She is texting someone about having with them. Sure she is being honest about the whole thing but a committed partner is not like that.

[CalistaClap]

Marriage is about life long committment to one person and one person only.

She shouldn't have agreed to the engagement if she wansnt ready for it.

As for you, why would you want to be with someone who has actually told you that they WANT to sleep with other people. This is someone who you are ENGAGED to!

I think that you should call the engagment off, find a new g/f, and wait until you and her are old enough to know the meaning of marriage, commitment, and trust.
I"m not trying to put you down by this, but to think that you are actually debating on letting her sleep with someone else is not rational.

[wickedpixie]

and you are way too young to even think about marriage...

she wants to experience life....

I wouldn't marry the first person I slept with..can't blame her really...

but to think you should stick around is insensetive and selfish.

[mmsharon]

From what i read, i think you are against it. Tell her that! I agree with the rest, would you want to be with someone you love, but that someone sleeps with others too? If no, you have to tell her.

And if she refuse not sleeping around, it's only best you leave her.

wickedpixie is right. She wants to experience life... wants freedom...

[JonHu33]

As everyone said above, you sound like your against this, and rightly so. Your girlfriend doesnt sound committed to this marriage, my advice, do as stated above, call it off, I would find it very hard to trust my girlfriend ever again if she said she wanted to sleep with other people.(And trust me, Im going through a similar situation myself.)

As for your marriage age, I think age is really overrated. A persons maturity is not always defined by their age. Throughout my entire life I have always acted about 10 years older than my actual age, and looked about 10 years older than my actual age. Im 24 now, and have been married twice(not my choice, ing arranged marriages in foreign countries can you up.) And there are plenty of stories of people married out of highschool. My marriages always ended because their was no love in them, because they werent in it by our choice, not because we were immature or unprepared. So yes, it can work, but you BOTH need to be mature and willing to enter this thing and sacrifice alot.

My personal opinion, if you believe you are mature enough to handle a family, to settle down, and you believe you have found a partener that is willing to do the same, then you can make it happen, but to me it sounds like with this girl your headed down a dead end road.

Im no professional like Rich, but thats my 2cents.

Sincerely

Jon

[lostandconfused]

im not preachin, but you are a child. Yes you are a legal adult, but you need to focus on you,your future,education, and learning to become a young adult not puppy love. Trust me my first love was 14 and she and i had at 14 and then ruined one anothers lives all through high school. Yes we loved each other but were too young for the life long thing. i have and she as well have so many regrets over our high school years. Breaking away from one another was really the best thing. we had a chance to do and explore life. she is married and has been for along time. I am divorced but have a great kid from it, and thats something she can never have. so we both won, and if we had stayed together we would have been divorced. im not saying you will,BUT the stats are way against your odds. I suggest no thought of marriage until you are whole as a person set in a solid life style. late twenties and even thirties for some is a good age to make that life long journey together. Im divorced because of a pregnancy. Not a reason to get married. I deeply regret my daughter has to grow up like this,but also on the other hand i grew up in a bad marriage. so im not so certain me feeling bad is good? I will say that love tends to change because people change as time rolls. Being 18 you have no idea the changes that you will go through in the next 5 years. Not to mention 10. The thought of her wanting to do this is a certain sign she will reguardless and wants to experiment with and others. run or you will see. my2cents

[financialjoo]

Tom Lykus was famous for saying DTB (Dump that ). If she wants others she doesn't want you. When I am with someone I am with them. Best of luck.:)