The truth has surfaced!

[CalistaClap]

Ok, so the truth has surfaced as to what happened.

He had been messing around with one of my friends (well not too close of friend now that we are out of HS) little sister. As in 17 years old. He is 26!

This 17 year old, well maybe she might be 18, but that's pushing it. She has been moved out of her parents house since she was 16, living between bf's houses and her sister's house. She is a MAJOR drug user, and last time I knew was dating this guy who was as low as you could go. As in dirtbag drug dealer. Well I guess she left him for Adam, and he decided to cut contact w/me for her! Isn't that lovely?

To make matter's better she if from where I live. I live and grew up 45 mins from where he lives. She is from just down the road from me. Well now she if out there obviously, but that means he will be w/her down by me when they go to visit family, etc.

So instead of going out to get my few things on Saturday that I need, and instead of leaving him all of the important things so that he doesn't have anything, I am taking EVERYTHING i EVER brought in to that house. Everything. Every thumbtack, ever roll of toilet paper that I have purchased. I won't take one item of his, but ALL OF mine.

All i needed was honesty. I even asked him when he ended it if it was for someone else, and I told him if it was to tell me then and be honest about it and I wouldn't be mad, but if I found out afterwards I would be.

Well it's afterwards, and I have alot of stuff that he is going to miss.

I could just SCREAM!

[CalistaClap]

Did he think that I wouldn't find out? She is my best friends cousin! Why wouldn't he just tell me, it was obvious that I would find out. Even if my friend didnt tell me , we live in a place with a population of 2000 people, maybe not even that many. Most people can't even get a new vehicle without everyone knowing!!!!!!!!!!

[eightball61]

Calist, remember its done...You need to stop playing detective because any other relationship you may get into the future may worsen your insecurities. Its best to drop it all and start over. I know its hard but like I said before the more you search the more bad you find. Why do you want to find more out?

Sure you may have the right to know but if it was me the hurt was done and its time to move on. Its up to you though but please cosider this.

[CalistaClap]

I am on such a great high right now. Just a high off of actually having a backbone, and finally sticking up for myself, and it feels SO GOOD!!!!!!

I cleaned him out! I took my fathers SUV, my best friend took her truck, and brought her little brother w/her, my other friend and her husband brought their truck and another friend of my came with his truck. So we had 3 trucks and 1 SUV piled full of stuff.

Like I said I didn't take one stitch of anything of his, but there is nothing of mine left at all, and it is pretty bare!

I called him yesterday and told him that I was coming that night instead of Saturday and it would be nice if he wasn't there. He said ok. I didn't even let on that I knew anything. He expected me to go and take my computer desk and my clothes, and that's it. WHen we enitially broke up (which I was led to believe was on good terms, and only because it just wasnt working out), I told him I didn't want to leave him with nothing, and I just wanted those things. Well when I found out that he had been seeing her, when I was still with him, and then left me for her, my mind quickly changed.

I took my computer desk and clothes, my bedroom set, my bed frame (so now his matress is on the floor), my end tables, and lamps (so he now has no lights in his livingroom), my extra bureau I had, my bathroom stand, ALL of the curtains, the silverware, all kitchen utensils that I bought, the toaster, all mats, all the food I bought (I've giving it to the food bank), every decoration, all the christmas decorations, the garbage cans, all of the blankets....all of them (they were all mine), all of the shampoo & soap (ALL OF IT). All of the furnture covers, my DVD player, My TV (he still has another one), My phone (he has another one, but my cord was on it, so I took the cord & he can't call unless he buys his own), my answering machine, cleaning products, even bounce sheets.

My friend even took 1/2 the lightbulbs in the house, cuz she knew they were probably mine too.

I think I'm going to give alot of the stuff to charity. I don't need it, but I was damn sure that I wasn't leaving it for him.

And get this......he hide the cats!!!!!!! I didn't get them, because they weren't there when I got there. THe sneaky little ba$tard hid them, even when he TOLD me I could have them.

When we first went in there, there was a pair of earring, sitting on MY bed, that WASN"T mine! I taped them to a note that read:

You want to be low I will show you I can be low too!

Tell Brandi I said Hi, and I hope that you guys enjoy being left with nothing.

All you had to do was be honest.

PS: Hiding the cat was a low trick a$$hole!

Then I found a Big pic of he and I that used to hang on the wall and he hid it under the bed. I took it out, nailed it to the wall in the living room, attached the earring to the note and put an arrow saying "there aren't mine" and stuck the note to the picture.

He also had taken all of the pictures of he and I and hid them in a drawer. I took the pics out, ripped them up, and took my frames too.

So now he has no food, no soap, no bed, no blankets, no phone, no lights.

All he's got left is a druggie, slutty g/f who is as sneaky as they come, but really they suit each other to a tee!

I called his SIL who is one of my good friends. I didn't want her to me upset with me for cleaning him out. She was proud of me, and said he deserved it a long time ago, and that he finally got a taste of something that he created himself. That was a releif.

Revenge is sweet. I'm done with it all now, I can finally move on knowing I got what I needed out of my system. I didn't do anything wrong, because it was all mine to begin with, but I know it's going to inconvience him alot, and that was my goal.

I slept SO good lastnight. :)

[eightball61]

Calist,

I am glad you got a good night sleep and thats what you need. Revenge is sweet sometimes but not all the time. I am glad though you got your stuff out of there so you can begin to move on from this whole thing.

I see you mentioned about giving some of it to charity but another thing you may want to think about is putting some in storage because you may need it again latter in life. I would use valuable stuff for that like the computer desk or anything like that. You know your belongings though.

This is just the first step to get things on the go and I do hope things tale off fr the better. What you need to start now is stop calling him and lose all contact. Its nw time to move on.

[CalistaClap]

I haven't called him except to tell him when I am coming out. I didn't want to talk to him,even before I found out about her.

It's done. I put up with cheating in June, Not knowing if he could be "faithful" then changing his mind in Oct., Finding out he tried to cheat again In Dec., pics of the net of him at a party in Jan., Jealousy and sooking the last 4 months, me pratically supporting him the past 2 years, him not letting me come out when I was upset about my mother, then fighting with me and blaming me for things (when all the time it was over her), ending it with me, telling me I could have the cats, and then hiding them from me, and finally finding out he was cheating on me with a 17 year old girl I used to BABYSIT!, and who has now moved in!!! (he has been seeing her for 2 weeks, we've been broke up for 1 week)!

I've never could have even imagined that anyone out there was capable of being so low. Ever. I"m assonished how cruel on human being is capable of being after I put up with so much, and had so much other awful things happening at the same time.

I dispise him. I wasn't even upset when I got home lastnight, I was happy. IN a very good mood. He is nothing to me anymore. I don't want him back, and never will. He will be lucky that if I ever seen him again I can refrane from choking him.

I am by no means over him, but what ever love I had for him has completely been stomped on. I think I am more in shock as to how he can be so evil. That's the part that's going to take time to get over. Other than that, he is scum to me.

Sorry if I sound psycotic, but I've finally had enough, and my sympathy for him has done a 360.

I hope Brandi didn't get to attached to having a b/f with a housefull of stuff, cuz now she'll be sleeping on the floor.

And I really don't know how he's gonna make it now. I supported him because he has no $. He has no many loans that they take his cheques automatically. She is still in Highschool, so I hope they aren't attached to haveing electricity, telephone or TV.

[Rich]

Calista-

Hopefully you feel cleansed right now and can move on. I'm sure you'll think back on this because it's natural to do so, but don't lose sleep on it. Totally let it go. Now it's a closed chapter and let the hurt go.

I don't want to rain on your parade or to bring you down, but you mentioned that he was with her while he was still with you. You might want to go get checked out for STD's.

You say that she's a druggie, so who knows what she abuses or uses. Does she snort or shoot up or both? Dirty or used needles can give aids. Chances are that she's probably been passed from guy to guy ually, while stoned or high and might have one or more of these: Yeast infection, clap, crabs, ghonorea, vd, herpes or Aids.

I'm guessing that her and her friends didn't spend good drug money (sarcasticly said) on birth control and contraceptions (rubbers, diaphrams or creams).

Don't know if you thought about this and sorry for bringing it up, but I know often times that there are no symptoms but a disease exist. Better to be safe than sorry.

Good luck,

Rich

[eightball61]

And I really don't know how he's gonna make it now. I supported him because he has no $. He has no many loans that they take his cheques automatically.

This is the stuff I am talking about...He is on his own now and will learn that asset you were to him. His mind is just thinking . Your mind is thinking you just want to have a real relationship and a life. In this case it never worked out.

I can;t say much on my end about having a ual relationship with a 17 yr old because I was in his shoes there but we also were in a 15 month relationship. I easn't there just for the .

Its all over though and your though about him making it needs to stop. You have other things to focus on. You have your cats, friends, and family. You have a lot going for you at this time.

[CalistaClap]

I made him use s when we were together. In the last few months, although I am on the pill, I didn't even want to take a small chance of getting pregnant. Before, when all was good, (way before), we both got checked before we were together, and I was on the pill, but if I got pregnant, it wouldn't have been such an awful thing (I thought!), so we didn't use extra protection.

It is a good idea to still get checked though.

I'm not sure what kind of drugs she does. Probably not anything with needles, I don't think that's big around here (yet). I know alot of Ecstsy, marijuana, hash, and probably cocaine, cuz that seems to be a new trend. I had heard before (like in the summer) that she had been in a few orgies (not sure about that though...may had just of been a rumor). But still.

It's a realy kick in the confidence to be left for someone like that. I consider myself stable, have a full time job, and then another part time one, don't do drugs, or don't smoke, and only drink rarely. I'm not loud fighesty type, I have my own car, which is still pretty new, yet paid for, I don't have any loans that is dragging my down, I"m money smart, I wouldn't consider myself ugly, and the best thing, I have morals (like not cheating, not lying, etc). And then I get cheated on over and over and over again, broken up with, only to have her move in that same day!

Hmm.....what's wrong with this picture?

[CalistaClap]

I can;t say much on my end about having a ual relationship with a 17 yr old because I was in his shoes there but we also were in a 15 month relationship. I easn't there just for the .

You have your cats,

It's different. You are 22, or 23. (I'm assuming you turned 23 on your b-day?). He is 26! That's 9 years! Isn't that like almost illegal?

And I dont have my cats, because he hid them from me. THey were with him (not there) when I went to get my stuff. Yet another low thing he did to me, that I didn't do anything to deserve. He TOLD me I could have them.

I am just lost for words.............

[eightball61]

And I dont have my cats, because he hid them from me. Y ....


I know I read that but I though you got them. I mean you found alot of stuff...how can he hide a cat unless he took them to the woods. Anyway, I know its different and that why we all just need to move on. He has hurt you so much and you no longer need/want that. Its time to just let it be and move on. You still have your things and got rid of the stress factor.

You are doing good for yourself and keep it up. Don't lose that touch ;)

[CalistaClap]

Well whereever he was when he wasn't there while I was getting my stuff, I'm assuming that the cat was with him. The cat carrier was gone too! I just don't understand, he actually TOLD me that they would be better off with me. I bought them! They are MY cats! Last time we broke up he told me that the only reason he kept them was that he didn't think I had a place to keep them, and that he isn't a cat person, but a dog person. It's bad enough after all of the things he has done to me, but that too?? Is there anything else that he can rob me of?

I"ve never met someone who is capable of being so loving, that is so evil. I've never ever even heard of someone that could be so cruel to one person. He is such a lowlife.

I'm upset, basically because of my cats, and the fact that he moved her in the day he broke up w/me. She probably was there sometimes before that, I just didn't know about it.

He seen me cry and bawl and go through emotional hell. I just went though it again, over Christmas. Why would he contiune on with me? Why would be keep making promises that he loves me so much and would never hurt me again? Then to do this? This is like 3 things at once. Not supporting me when I was upset about me mother (I"m still not over that), then on top of that finding out he was cheating on me with a highschool kid who I've grown up knowing (of all the people in the world...), then to put the icing on the cake, he steels my cats from me, who he knows are like children to me!

THis is just so much at once, I just can't comprehend how one person can be so evil!

I'm really having a hard time handling all this at once.

[Rich]

Calista-

You're going to have to chalk it up to the fact that there are some people in this world that need help and there's nothing much you can do about that.

Unfortunately you ex-bf is immature, selfish and into satisfying his own needs right now. You can go crazy trying to figure him, but what's the point of doing that and why waste emotional cycles on him?

All you can do is shake your head and try to laugh it off. Take solace in the fact that he has to live with himself and that's how he is. That it's not you. Be releived and grateful that you found out now (even though it hurts) and shrug it off.

Maybe he'll figure it out one day and feel sorry for what he did, or maybe he won't. Either way, don't think about it. Close the door. Lesson learned. He has the issues and not you.

BTW....being the immature, selfish person that he is....he maybe took the cats as a sort of ransom thing. He might say that he wants something from you in return for the cats. He might have also kept them to keep in your life somehow. He can always call and jerk you around about the cats because he knows how much you care for them. It's a game to him.

Maybe he's into drugs now too? Best to be done with him.

Rich

[eightball61]

I'm really having a hard time handling all this at once.

When we think we know someone we really don't. That is why I part have security issues to other people and not very sociable. I have a good GF and we know each other well. We learn more and more about our partners as life goes on.

It going to be hard to recover from for a bit but you can get through it. You are stronger than you think...Use you family and friends to help you through this. You know we will be here but if you need to write thoughts in a journal try that also. Just keep yourself busy.

Its not easy and I am going through the same thing. We are trying to work it out but hard to tell what may happen. Keep you thoughts straight and see what happens.

[CalistaClap]

I know. He is scum and I shouldn't even have wasted this much time on him. I do not think that I will be able to figure him out, because really, who could? No normal person could act the way he does, or treat other people the way he does.

I'm just not comprehending how I coulld have been so worthless to him? I did nothing to deserve anything from him. I never cheated, never thought about cheating, never lied to him, or kept things from him, I wasn't jealous or controlling, I didn't expect things from him (gifts) and I'm not materialistic, I get along wonderfully with his family, I always put the relationship first. I just don't get it.

I wrote him a letter. I haven't decided if I will send it to him. It basically tells him exactly how I feel about him (scum), and to never attempt to communicate with me again. It's not a very friendly letter, but it felt good getting it out. I just don't want him to have the pleasure of thinking I am sitting home crying over him, because I am not.

[William Scott]

I once again agree with eightball 61. Starting to wonder are we related? lol

[eightball61]

I once again agree with eightball 61. Starting to wonder are we related? lol


We actually are along the line of life :D

[CalistaClap]

I really can't get over what he did with the cats. As if after putting up with everything he did, and going through emotional hell wasn't bad enough,dumping me when I'm having a family crisis, then moving the 17 year old drug addict kid in THE SAME DAY before I even get my stuff out (oh yea....he was sleeping with her on MY bed, with all MY blankets). How low is that?

But then to actually steel my cats away from me? He was the one who betrayed me time and time again, and he told me I could have them (since everything was all his fault), and then when I go to get them, they aren't there????

How is one person supposed to deal with all of this at one time? I know I have to move on and realize he's a head, and yea I already do, but it's hard to swallow all of this happening at once, and I"m having a hard time with it.

[eightball61]

How is one person supposed to deal with all of this at one time? I know I have to move on and realize he's a head, and yea I already do, but it's hard to swallow all of this happening at once, and I"m having a hard time with it.



Thats why getting over it doesn't take one night to do. You mind will go through different phases durning that time but it take time to sort out. You will go through blaming, hate, and saddness. Its natural effect and if you need to see someone then I suggest it but it does take time so be patient and go with the flow of life.

[Rich]

Calista, Calista, Calista. All of your fretting, worrying anger, hatred and every other emotion that you're putting into this can't and won't change what has happened.

No matter what you do, it's not going to change what happened.

So why are you expending all of your emotional energy on this? It sounds kind of cold and uncaring, but you need to turn it off. I know women (and this is not a shot) are emotional creatures, but you kinda need to put this aside.

All that you're going to do is to get yourself sick and drive yourself nuts. And for what, really? Don't do it to yourself.

Don't sit around and pick apart what he did and analyze every little thing. If the whole thing was wrong...then a lot of the parts are sure to be wrong. What I mean by that is that you're going to find grief with a lot of things that he did. Again....why bother? It's just not worth it.

Don't go down to his petty, hurtful level. Stay above it, learn from it and move on.

Good luck

Rich

[inquisitive]

Don't go down to his petty, hurtful level. Stay above it, learn from it and move on.

Good luck

Rich

Yea, and by going to his level you're giving him the power to hurt you again and again! Don't let him!

[eightball61]

Calist,

Just checking in on you to see if you are ok. Please drop one anytime you stop by :)

[William Scott]

Hi! THanks for asking. I hope everyone is doing well.
Its nice to have someone to remember me when I have issues even if its on the computer. I truely want to thank all of you whom took the time and express what you have learned from the past.

As of right now, I have issues about the relationship. Everything is going well beside the Friendship part of it. As we all know..you must be friends and lovers to make a relationship grow. I love to joke and be silly. With our time together she does not show that side to me. I suppose having a bad past has brought her to being focus on rasing her child. I do notice mostly when guy co workers call her on the house, cell or work phone she is very lively and fun chatter. She makes jokes and being silly. With me..our coversations arent that way. It makes me wonder why cant she be more creative and fun while we talk. This matter is truely bothering me and I asked her. She mentions she has been working with these people for years now. That excuse isnt working with me. I have really consider waiting another year before I even think about poping the question to her. I need laughter in my life because life can be punishing. I want someone to laugh the rest of my life with. The rest of our relationship is wonderful. The past issues I bought have been sorted and forgotten. But deep inside I feel there alot missing. As I look back in my past of relationships, I am a runner. I become to close to someone and find the little things about a woman and move on. I am not doing that here, I see something that I truely need in my life. I have excepted her and her daughter in my life, to be my life. It just seems that we just jump the friendship and went into the relationship. Right now I couldnt tell you what her favorites are but only what she doesnt like. Why is that?

Hope to hear from yall. God bless!

WS

[William Scott]

A cheating dog will alway return to the scene of the crime...unless he gets hit by an 18 wheeler on the highway.

You dont have to let him go to get over this, help him let you go.

All will be well in time.

God bless!@

[eightball61]

Hi! THanks for asking. I hope everyone is doing well.
Its nice to have someone to remember me when I have issues even if its on the computer. I truely want to thank all of you whom took the time and express what you have learned from the past.

As of right now, I have issues about the relationship. Everything is going well beside the Friendship part of it. As we all know..you must be friends and lovers to make a relationship grow. I love to joke and be silly. With our time together she does not show that side to me. I suppose having a bad past has brought her to being focus on rasing her child. I do notice mostly when guy co workers call her on the house, cell or work phone she is very lively and fun chatter. She makes jokes and being silly. With me..our coversations arent that way. It makes me wonder why cant she be more creative and fun while we talk. This matter is truely bothering me and I asked her. She mentions she has been working with these people for years now. That excuse isnt working with me. I have really consider waiting another year before I even think about poping the question to her. I need laughter in my life because life can be punishing. I want someone to laugh the rest of my life with. The rest of our relationship is wonderful. The past issues I bought have been sorted and forgotten. But deep inside I feel there alot missing. As I look back in my past of relationships, I am a runner. I become to close to someone and find the little things about a woman and move on. I am not doing that here, I see something that I truely need in my life. I have excepted her and her daughter in my life, to be my life. It just seems that we just jump the friendship and went into the relationship. Right now I couldnt tell you what her favorites are but only what she doesnt like. Why is that?

Hope to hear from yall. God bless!

WS

I am kinda lost here...Aren't you the poster where you GF kept all the valuables from past ex's like rings and stuff?

[CalistaClap]

Thanks for asking Eightball.

I'm doing ok. Just been avoiding the boards a bit becuase i know if I continue to talk about it, then it will take longer to get over. I will be back here, I just need to let everything sink in.

I still dream about him, and that's hard when I wake up and realize it's all gone. I wouldn't take him back now even if he tried, but I just wish things could have worked out. I miss him.

I haven't heard from him for about a month, and I haven't attempted to contact him either.

I still miss my cats like crazy (they were like my kids), and kick myself for not doing more to get them back.

Anyways, other than that, everything is going ok. I'm keeing busy with work. My mother's test results came back with good news, and I'm planning a trip to British Colombia to visit my friend in the spring/summer. :) Traveling is my passion, especially to places I've never been, so I'm pretty excited over that.

How have you been?

[eightball61]

Anyways, other than that, everything is going ok. I'm keeing busy with work. My mother's test results came back with good news, and I'm planning a trip to British Colombia to visit my friend in the spring/summer. :) Traveling is my passion, especially to places I've never been, so I'm pretty excited over that.

How have you been?

Wow this is all great news :D I am glad to hear that you are doing things for yourself. I kinda figured you been ignoring the boards and thats why I didn't post an update. You keep what you are doing and still stop by anytime ;)

I am glad to hear also that your mothers results have came back fine. To you thats one last stress to go through. I am sure you miss him and those cats but as time goes on so won;t your feelings and you will be feeling alot better.

On my end things on the trial bases have been going fine. We spent the whole day watching movies yesturday and did nothing all day. We still have the little fights on her attitude but thingss have been getting better because she has been thinking about that talk. I dont expect her to change right off but things are looking ok. I prey they do work but this would be the last try before I give up. At least I could look back and saw I gave it a try.

[CalistaClap]

I'm glad things are working out for you two.

I'm slowly adjusting to not being with him. I saw him yesterday for the first time. Not up close, but he and his tramppy g/f were tailgating my friend and I the other day on our way home from town. I wasn't in my vehicle, so he probably didn't know it was me. It was kinda a kick in the teeth to actually SEE then together, but c'est la vie.

He's her problem now.

Some of my friends just got back from vacationing in Cuba, so I've hung out with them all weekend, and listened to their vacation stories....sorta makes me kick myself for not going....oh well BC will be nice). A bunch of us went out for supper lastnight. So I'm keeping pretty busy after work.

Thanks for asking & updating me!! I'm still around here, just not posting much because I don't want to keep talking about him.

[eightball61]

Thanks for asking & updating me!! I'm still around here, just not posting much because I don't want to keep talking about him.


That is very understandable and I know when you are ready you'll start posting to others people's threads again. I do thank you for that update and just stick with your friends. I know you may have wanted to go but like you stated in another post you have plans to go to other places coming up. Anotherwords, dont kick yourself to hard because you have fun time coming up, you have good news about your mother, and this is only the start :D Just hang in there and please share any new thrilling updates when you can ;)