infildelity concerns

[tacticaltal]

Hi guys,

I'm in an 8 year relationship with a lady I truly love. But there hasn't been many days that we don't find us arguing. One of the things we're struggling with right now is her suspicion that I am cheating on her. Her source seems to be the unexpained scratches on my back. Unable to define a reasonable explanation for these scratches, she continually thinks I'm cheating. I am not, nor have I ever cheated on her. Please help me with this. I'm a 48 year old man who's had very few relationships, and this one is very important to me. I don't want to end it, but I'm at my wits end here. I'm continuously telling her I love her (not something a man generally does - maybe that's the problem?) I have absolutely no doubt that she is faithful to me. This isn't the first time we have discussed this problem, and I've tried to assure her she is my only interest. What am I doing wrong here?

Thanks

tal

[Howard]

Tactic,In what way would you be cheating on her?:confused:

[tacticaltal]

Tactic,In what way would you be cheating on her?:confused:

ually, I suppose

[Howard]

ually, I suppose


So the scratches on your back are from what,Maybe you had some sort of a sado/masochistic woman who used a cat-o-nine tails,Or maybe you were just fooling around with some girl and she just happened to scratch you by accident.

Maybe you can talk to her on a one to one basis.

[marisa616]

So the scratches on your back are from what,Maybe you had some sort of a sado/masochistic woman who used a cat-o-nine tails,Or maybe you were just fooling around with some girl and she just happened to scratch you by accident.

Maybe you can talk to her on a one to one basis.

WTF??? anyway... her concerns are understandable. passionate can lead to those scratches... i know i've left a few on my guy on more than one occassion. where are the scratches coming from?? do you think maybe she scratches you at night when you're sleeping by accident? some women are naturally suspicious, but if you keep re-assuring her, hopefully her fears will go away. make sure you don't so suspicious things like not answering calls when she's around or going in another room to talk to people. try not to work late for a while. those are all things that make us think our guys are cheating, so avoid those for a while and it may help.

[Howard]

When are you going to see her again,Maybe you can talk to her about this problem on a one to one basis.

[tacticaltal]

When are you going to see her again,Maybe you can talk to her about this problem on a one to one basis.

I see her everyday - we've lived together for about 2 years now. Still the lack of trust; I don't understand it. I trust her, and as far as I know, I've done nothing to warrant her suspicions. The scratches on my back arre unexplained. I don't know where the hell they come from. They are damn sure not from another relationship. I am monogamous with her.

My concern is that she is simply insecure, and I need to know how to deal with that or to help her overcome it, if that's possible: we are both grown adults - she is 52, I am 48.

We have talked about this one on one, but apparently no good has come of it.

Truly, we have many issues, such as set-in-our-own way stubborness. I truly see us as "opposites". She says that's the way it should be: "opposites attract", but damn, we have most nothing in common, from music to religion and politics and basic human relations philosophies. I am conservative, she leans slightly to the left.

I can't for my life see how we will make it, though I want nothing more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe there's an issue with the fact that she is the bread winner. She works 60+ hrs, I stay home earning monthly SSI (which goes against both our grain - she pays the taxes that supports my SSi, I receive social welfare which goes against my conservative ideals.

What to do what to do?

[Howard]

I see her everyday - we've lived together for about 2 years now. Still the lack of trust; I don't understand it. I trust her, and as far as I know, I've done nothing to warrant her suspicions. The scratches on my back arre unexplained. I don't know where the hell they come from. They are damn sure not from another relationship. I am monogamous with her.

My concern is that she is simply insecure, and I need to know how to deal with that or to help her overcome it, if that's possible: we are both grown adults - she is 52, I am 48.

We have talked about this one on one, but apparently no good has come of it.

Truly, we have many issues, such as set-in-our-own way stubborness. I truly see us as "opposites". She says that's the way it should be: "opposites attract", but damn, we have most nothing in common, from music to religion and politics and basic human relations philosophies. I am conservative, she leans slightly to the left.

I can't for my life see how we will make it, though I want nothing more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe there's an issue with the fact that she is the bread winner. She works 60+ hrs, I stay home earning monthly SSI (which goes against both our grain - she pays the taxes that supports my SSi, I receive social welfare which goes against my conservative ideals.

What to do what to do?


How long have you been on SSI? :confused: