Big Grin
11-30-2006, 09:48 AM
Hi
I'd really appreciate help with this one, it's gone on for long enough and needs sorting out.
I've been with my partner for 3 and a half years. He's a great guy, kind, considerate, hardworking and nice looking. I do love him, although I've never been in lover with him. I fell pregnant very early on in the relationship (we have a 2 and a half year old!), if it wasn't for our son I don't think we would have made it this far. The years with my partner have been pretty happy, but I've always felt that something was missing. I don't have a particular successful relationship track record so I've always thought maybe it was just me being stupid and over time these fears would go.
Anyway, this year has been awful, I got pregnant again (planned) but I had a still-born twin delivery at six months. In hindsight I got preganant for my partner because he's always had this image of the perfect family, he came from a broken home and always fantasised about this happy family. I'm more than happy with just our son, I never should have got pregnant again and it took me a long time to deal with the guilt of losing the twins, I felt it was God's way of punishing me for not being truthful about what I wanted. I've dealt with this now though. I suppose as well that I resented my partner for not listening to me when I said that I didn't want anymore children, I should have stuck up for myself more.
To cut a long story short, he's a great guy but I have never felt intellectually stimulated by him and I do find him embarrassing as he can be very crude or take a joke too far. This has always been the case, and I find that I can't take him seriously as a ual partner as a result. I have never completely relaxed with him ually. And I know it sounds so picky but I found little things about him annoying when we got together, like the way he laughed, cheesy jokes etc. I felt so superficial that I just pushed these things to the back of my mind. My partner admits that he's always felt like he is waiting for me to fall completely for him, this makes me feel very sad.
I would also point out that I think I do have a problem with commitment or else I've been rushing into things and chosing the wrongs guys, I'm not sure.
We are currently split up but still living together. It would be so easy just to get back together, we are terrific friends and there is a lot of love there. There's just something missing. Am I expecting too much? Or should I let him go free? I want him to be happy, he isn't a the moment. And the poor guy is so ually frustrated, it's been about six months and even before that it was very infrequent.
Please help.
Thanks
Nic
I'd really appreciate help with this one, it's gone on for long enough and needs sorting out.
I've been with my partner for 3 and a half years. He's a great guy, kind, considerate, hardworking and nice looking. I do love him, although I've never been in lover with him. I fell pregnant very early on in the relationship (we have a 2 and a half year old!), if it wasn't for our son I don't think we would have made it this far. The years with my partner have been pretty happy, but I've always felt that something was missing. I don't have a particular successful relationship track record so I've always thought maybe it was just me being stupid and over time these fears would go.
Anyway, this year has been awful, I got pregnant again (planned) but I had a still-born twin delivery at six months. In hindsight I got preganant for my partner because he's always had this image of the perfect family, he came from a broken home and always fantasised about this happy family. I'm more than happy with just our son, I never should have got pregnant again and it took me a long time to deal with the guilt of losing the twins, I felt it was God's way of punishing me for not being truthful about what I wanted. I've dealt with this now though. I suppose as well that I resented my partner for not listening to me when I said that I didn't want anymore children, I should have stuck up for myself more.
To cut a long story short, he's a great guy but I have never felt intellectually stimulated by him and I do find him embarrassing as he can be very crude or take a joke too far. This has always been the case, and I find that I can't take him seriously as a ual partner as a result. I have never completely relaxed with him ually. And I know it sounds so picky but I found little things about him annoying when we got together, like the way he laughed, cheesy jokes etc. I felt so superficial that I just pushed these things to the back of my mind. My partner admits that he's always felt like he is waiting for me to fall completely for him, this makes me feel very sad.
I would also point out that I think I do have a problem with commitment or else I've been rushing into things and chosing the wrongs guys, I'm not sure.
We are currently split up but still living together. It would be so easy just to get back together, we are terrific friends and there is a lot of love there. There's just something missing. Am I expecting too much? Or should I let him go free? I want him to be happy, he isn't a the moment. And the poor guy is so ually frustrated, it's been about six months and even before that it was very infrequent.
Please help.
Thanks
Nic