Girlfriend's past relationships

[brokenantimatte]

In September '04 I met a shy girl sitting inside a buggy outside of Walmart reading one of my books. I often find myself badgering people in public when ever I see them reading one and this girl would be no different.

As I approached her, a group of my friends whom were drunk at the time began pointing calling her an akward name of stripper from a local club.

I sat and apologized to the girl and we talked from about 9pm to 7am we continued to go in groups the next few nights.

I did not tell her I was the writer she so dearly loved until she had question about my writing in December when I gave it to her as a gift.

We currently live together and I we deeply adore each other and her family has accepted me and often thinks of us as already married.

But I am filled with such an unsustainable feeling so great I can hardly contain it when I think about her past ual encounters five, before myself, only one encounter completely willing.

She is greatly ashamed of them and finds no comfort in her past actions.

I do not like the idea of not loving or feeling any sort of animosity towards her for any reason, for any amount of time and now this matter is slowly becoming a fixation.

Please Help

Also I do not want to bring the matter up because we try so hard to be perfect for each other.

[Missa]

Alright, I totally relate.

You have to realize that she loves you now, she didn't love you back when this was happening because she didn't know you. She was looking for love in all the wrong places.

As long as she stays faithful to you now, that's all that matters. Everyone has a past.

Good luck,
Missa :)

[brokenantimatte]

She wasn't looking for love then :-p

And I know she loves, but that doesn't make the feeling go away.

[eightball61]

You have to see that we all have a past that we are either proud of or not proud of. The point into a relationship is seeing each other throught the present and the future. You need to try to move on from this because she can't change it. IF you split up with her for that then you may meet someone that may not care to tell you a number from the past or may have more partners.

From what you put together she sounds like a sweet girl and I am sure you see that also. You need to charish what you have now and move on.

[Rich]

So you're the kind of person who only has conditional love to offer this girl?

True love is unconditional. Her past is her past and your past is your past. Either you truly love her or you don't. Sounds like you TRULY don't.

It also sounds like YOU have the issues. You're not prepared to have any long term realtionships because you can't accept people for who they are and what they have done in the past.

And btw...you say five realtionships before you, but 4 unwillingly. That's a crock. Maybe one would be unwillingly but not four! She was very much a willing participant in a few of those.

I think what happend is that she picked up on your negative feelings about her past encounters and is trying to change things around so that you won't think less of her. Which of course, you do. She trying to raise her standings in your eyes by saying that she didn't really want to have those flings and that it wasn't her fault so that you won't look down upon her.

This relationship isn't going to work.

IMO you should end this relationship because you can't get past your hang ups about her ual past and it will always be a cause of concern, worry and fights for both of you. IMO when times get tough, that you'll be the type of person to keep bringing up her past and making her feel bad about it. That you'll always throw it in her face. She's a slut. She'll cheat on you. You can't satisfy her. You can't trust her.

Are those the type of thoughts that will go through your head. I'm thinking yes.

You should get some counseling as to why you feel that the amount of her past flings bothers you so much and why you have that hang up. Most women that you're going to meet will have had multiple partners before you.

Rich