Getting over this girl is impossible, can I get some help? [Archive]

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Breadman

02-06-2004, 03:26 AM

This is the way I see it.
Ok here is the philosophy.

Your girlfriend is your cheese. Just as a mouse has its cheese. When you put cheese at an end of a mouse maze, and put a mouse in the middle of the maze, the first few times you do it, the mouse RUNS to the cheese, following the smell of course. After so many times of doing this, putting the mouse at the same place in the maze everytime, and putting the cheese in the same place as well, the mouse slows down, and takes its time going to its cheese each time. Than, when the cheese doesnt apear there everyday, like it usually did, the mouse has trouble dealing with the fact that the cheese is gone.

So heres your girlfriend. When you first had her, you were running to your cheese (girlfriend), than after awhile, you got so used to her, you were just walking to your cheese (girlfriend). Almost like you took her for granted, just as the mouse took its cheese for granted. Than. your cheese (girlfriend) left to a different state. Now, you have trouble dealing with the absence of your cheese, and things are hard.

So now your cheese is gone, what do you do.

I have been told to not find a new cheese, but to find a new maze. Its really hard when people tell me just to get over it, cause its not that easy. There is no way of me getting in touch with her, and her cell phone number is not working and I don't think she has internet. I have trouble sleeping at night cause this girl was everything I ever wanted. But now my cheese has moved, and I am starting to want a new cheese. But, remember in that movie cast away where that girl loses her cheese because he gets stranded on an island, and than when her cheese comes back, 4 years later, she is married to a new cheese? Well I don't want that to happen to me. I just want my cheese back, but sometimes I would like a different cheese for now...but I have mixed thoughts.

Uncopyrightable

02-08-2004, 04:03 AM

Would you like a little whine with that cheese?

Just a thought. Get in touch with your feelings. Your real feelings. Talking about issues in A the third person, B philosophically and C metaphoric euphemisms will not get you to the place of real identification of feelings and decision-making.

You cheese has gotten away. Maybe you will treat your next cheese as a prize possession. LOVE is a VERB. Love requires action.

Love is a choice. Make it.

When you find true love, don’t be stuck in a maze of cheese fascination.

Breadman

02-08-2004, 04:48 AM

bv3qc

02-28-2004, 07:30 PM

You just got to learn from this experience...

I agree about the "Love requires action / Love is a choice" theory over here. You have the entire control of your life, if you want something to happen, you just have to put the mindset into action.

Now, getting back to the ex-gf is probably not the best thing to do, but if you judge that she is that good... who am i to judge about that...

Personnally, i think you need to stop for a while, maybe try to get to know other ppl, try to go out alone to places that you like or that you always wanted to know about... just do something with you brain that will help you tink about something else... (ex: go to the gym, read a book on a particular topic (not love, plz), learn how to draw, etc.). Any time out of a relationship is a good time to build a new skill that you can show off after that ;)

You'll see at the start that is very very hard but you'll see the result pretty soon... and also, try to stay away from places where you were with her or other nostalgic stuff that can bring you back... you cannot always prevent those flashback but you can take actions to go somewhere else just to think about something else....

good luck..
phil

buster

03-01-2004, 02:10 AM

Time will heal all wounds, i know you have heard that from at least 10 people by now, but it is the truth, keep yourself busy, your mind occupied, hell start a new hobbie or a new sport, do what you have to do instead of sitting around thinking about her, you have started out on the right foot by coming here, let it out, be strong, hold your head high....your day will come, just wait on it!

Breadman

03-01-2004, 03:24 AM

Wow. Last 2 replys realy ment something. Made me think a lot. Thanks for the advice. Yea it seems that when I am with friends or something that is keeping my mind busy and not just me than I am fine. At work I will still think of her because it is not keeping my mind busy but other than that I can do things like play guitar and it will keep my mind busy.

danielle1969

12-29-2004, 11:33 AM

My boy friend (3 year relatioship) and i have just broken up over x-mas. I dunno what to do.... I can't sleep I can't eat... Its really bad... Everyone iss tellin me not to bother with him.. But I can't help it... It goin to take me a long time to get over this.... We had such a routine. Everything reminds me of him. Maybe you can give me advice.

Danielle :(

danielle1969

12-29-2004, 11:33 AM

danielle1969

12-29-2004, 11:33 AM

My boy friend (3 year relationship) and i have just broken up over x-mas. I dunno what to do.... I can't sleep I can't eat... Its really bad... Everyone iss tellin me not to bother with him.. But I can't help it... It goin to take me a long time to get over this.... We had such a routine. Everything reminds me of him. Maybe you can give me advice.

Danielle :(

bv3qc

12-31-2004, 11:41 PM

the best thing to do is to put yourself first. right now your brain is all messed up because you are used to the presence of someone... so the best advice i can give you is to be patient and to try to put yourself first.

it is not going to be easy and you'll have to be patient. you aren't going to get over the person in a certain way because he was involved in your life... but you'll have to think about that and see how you are going to handle it...

lots of fun coming ;)

Rich

01-03-2005, 05:05 PM

Let's get back to the cheese.

You say that your girlfriend moved to another state and there's no way to get in touch with her. What you don't say is why she left or why you guys ended.

I can tell that you've ended because your cheese has NO interest in contacting you. Obviously she wants nothing to do with you anymore or she would be in contact or drop you a line with HER contact info.

From what you've posted one can deduce that you really do take long time girlfriends for granted. Not just this one, but probably all of them. It's your philosophy on life.

When with someone for a long time it IS easy to fall into a routine and to take them for granted. It happens in all relationships and the trick is to keep remembering and NOT LET it happen. You've learned a valuable lesson here. Now you can use it in all your future relationships.

I say future ones because relationships are both people wanting each other and right now it's obvious that your girlfriend doesn't want you or she'd be in touch. Move on. Lesson learned.

Rich

cherklatch

01-07-2005, 01:28 PM

I'm an old fart honey so take some advise from a woman who is sick and tired of mens' bullshit. Do not compare your woman to a friggin piece of cheese. No offense but if this is the way you dealt with your relationship with her - talking in metaphors - I would have moved to another state too. By the way, why did she move - please tell me you weren't stalking her. SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT - WHEN YOU GET OLDER YOU JUST SAY THINGS AS YOU SEE THEM. It sounds to me like you need to stop trying to impress woman and people with your crazy philosophies and just learn to be yourself - unless that is yourself - then you're in trouble. Nothing means more to a woman than talking to her straight from your heart and in straightforward language. Before you look for a new piece of cheese or maze or whatever the frig you think you need, no offense, but you need to get your head on straight. I should know. I'm a retired P.A. (Physician's Assistant) and would highly suggest you get some therapy NOW.