girl friend problem

[SLIM05]

ok so ive been with my g/f for like a little under a year. im 21 shes 18, we have alot in common and get along great, when we frist met each other we were all over each other and had great and very often. but now she hardly looks at me. sometimes in the last few months we had only once. now im not concieded but im a good looking guy, in great shape, and have a reat appearance, hygiene etc, so i dont feel theres any reason for her not to be attracted to me. i asked her wuts up and shes jus like i had other boyfriends and had all the time with them, im past that stuff. so i was a little hurt by that. also we hardly even make out if we do its cuz i make the first move. she also never calls me really is very critical of me and is always very hard on me with just about everything. its seems like she doesnt like anyhting about me when she says she loves me. she also has never expressed her feelings to me verbally she refuses to tell me how she feels about me etc, etc, etc. she talks about her ex boy firends alot and seems to throw her ual past in my face which i told her makes me angry but she doesnt see a problem with it. we also see each other almost every day could it be she getting tired of me? im still very much in love with her. does any one have any ideas, am i being over sensitive?

[inquisitive]

I do not think you are being over sensitive. Everyone deserves to have someone that wants to be with them emotionally and physically. I can not say whether or not there is something that happened or is going on in her life to make her not want anymore, but she should be open and honest with you since it seems you are being with her. To me it just seems odd that she all of a sudden decides she doesn't want , or physical closeness.

What happens if you don't call her? Say you never called her again, would she call you?

One of the best things about being in a relationship is loving someone, and in return them loving you and wanting to be with you and support you.

[SLIM05]

What happens if you don't call her? Say you never called her again, would she call you?


she'll eventually call me but at like 10 or 11pm, shes got work and school but a call just to say hi in the middle of the day wouldnt kill her. im not a needy person but i just want to be wanted more and when i tell her that she jus changes the convo. or it turns into an argument. one argument we got into she said " we've been goin for 8 months what do u want" then she told me i need every date to be like a first date. ugh! i jsut dont know what to do i feel like she doenst respect me doesnt see me has having any kind of authority. i've heard second hand through mutual friends that she says she has me wrapped around her finger and that she thinks im afraid of her. which im not but i just dont liek to argue i like to talk things out. i sort of think shes taking me for granted, i just wish she looked at me the way she did when she first met me but i dont think thats gonna happen

[inquisitive]

she'll eventually call me but at like 10 or 11pm, shes got work and school but a call just to say hi in the middle of the day wouldnt kill her. im not a needy person but i just want to be wanted more and when i tell her that she jus changes the convo. or it turns into an argument. one argument we got into she said " we've been goin for 8 months what do u want" then she told me i need every date to be like a first date. ugh! i jsut dont know what to do i feel like she doenst respect me doesnt see me has having any kind of authority.

Pardon me if I interpret this wrong, but what kind of "authority" do you want? A relationship is give and take no one person should have authority over another.
i've heard second hand through mutual friends that she says she has me wrapped around her finger and that she thinks im afraid of her. which im not but i just dont liek to argue i like to talk things out. i sort of think shes taking me for granted, i just wish she looked at me the way she did when she first met me but i dont think thats gonna happen

Do you know why she thinks she has you wrapped around her little finger? That shouldn't be. She shouldn't need, or want, to have you wrapped around her finger. Have you asked her about it?

About her looking at you how she did when you first got together that probably won't happen exactly. It doesn't mean she shouldn't look at you with love and lust but it will be different. Relationships always change and grow. The beginning is always "the best" because you're infatuated and it's a wonderful feeling. When the relationship moves to the next stage it's still a wonderful feeling but different, not as exciting.

[SLIM05]

not that i want authority or need or should have it but its like i feel she doesnt take me seriously. everything i say or do is always wrong im not even allowed to drive to places using streets i always take i have to go her way and to things her way. also is this weird, alot of arguments happen because she says i dont listen to her. one day she left me a voice mail and i called her and and asked her a question and she went off cuz she said she explained her self in the voice mail, well ok i went back rechecked the voice mail and she mentioned nothing of the topic when i confronted her about it she was liek oh wut eva. so its ok for her to flip out on me cuz i dont listen when more then half the stuff she says she tells me she neva does. sorry if im rambling or complaining but these r on goin things that just piss me off.

[beaniesplus]

It sounds to me that she needs some space. She might feel like you are smothering her.

You mentioned that she had a job and goes to school. Maybe she is stressed. Let her call you when she has the time. Going to school, having a job, and being in a relationship is hard to juggle.

[eightball61]

Your not being over sensitive....It most cases its the women looking for affection. You are the passionate one and you like to have more wording from her so you know that she is into you. Her past does hurt you but she feels its ok to express it. You have communicated it and I really dont know what more you can say to change that. She needs to see your side to things but how is the real answer. I wish I can express more.

[inquisitive]

SLIM05, sorry formisunderstanding before, but to me it sounds like shes just not listening to you, and may like to be in control. I don't think you are being overly sensitive it just may be that your personalities clash in certain areas. Such as her dictating which route is better etc. the little things. Some peoples personalities are just like that. Have you tried talking to her about the fact you always do things her way?

I know my SO is like that. I've talked to him about it and hes getting better. He still throws little fits if I want to do something my way but if I just ignore him he stops, and we do it my way because he knows how I feel about it.

[SLIM05]

i think i am going to take a step back. instead of making myself sick over this and spending all my time thinking about it im just going to relax. if its ment to be it will be, the more i try to make things better and make things work the less of the disired result i am seeing. im gonna give her space but not distance myself emotionaly from her because i do love her very much i think she really needs to get intouch with her feelings and figure out what she wants. shes only 18 and she needs to find her place in the world and to grow. when your in a relationship its easy to forget that your SO is a person with their own life and needs.

[Rich]

It seems like she's frustrated with you and or your relationship.

Take a step back, like you had mentioned doing, and reevaluate what you want and what you have here with her.

Go see what else is out there.

Rich

[eightball61]

shes only 18 and she needs to find her place in the world and to grow. .


My GF is 17 and I know what you mean here. I have aloud her to step out any time she wants to. We recently went through a phase of arguing that ending in a breakup but we are back together taking it slowly. She is 18 but she does need the space to grow. She is becoming an adult and needs to know whather place is in this world. Having a boyfriend to her is a bonus but her thoughts are differ from yours because she is not used of the relationship process. Give it time to grow and hopefully the outcome is good.