CalistaClap
02-10-2005, 12:32 PM
I think that I've been doing fairly good without him. I haven't cried over him since the last time we talked on the phone (the day he ended it and blamed it on me).
I have been thinking about it, but most of that was anger for all the nasty things he's done to me in the past, and then the grande finale of nastiness at the end of it. More or less when I thought about it I would just get so mad, and that's the way it has been for the past 2 weeks.
I didn't find myself missing him or crying over him, basically because I was so mad. I didn't even dream about him....until lastnight.
I woke up after this dream, almost stunned at how real it was. In the dream I went to his house to get my cats, and my fish. He came home, and I was crying and telling him how much I loved him, and wanted him back. At first (in the dream) he was normal telling me that he missed me so much too, Then he got cold telling me he didn't want to be with me, and was telling me things he's done since we've been apart. I was crying and begging him to tell me he loved me. Then all of a sudden I snapped awake, and was stunned. Then I was back to being angry when I thought of him. (Which I try to aviod doing).
I thought I was getting through it fairly well without going through the missing and "withdrawl" stage. I wonder if this was a sign to myself telling me how much I really do miss him and still love him, or if it was simply just a dream.
Oh and another update, he's been down my way alot! Her (his new super young jailbait g/f) parents live down the road from me. A few people has told me that they've seen him. Funny, when he was with me for 2 years, he never had any gas $ to come down even when I offered to give him some, now he is down all the time, sort of rubbing it in my face. To get to her parents house, there is another road which saves alot of time coming from his house. In order to go by my house, and all my friends houses, he has to take the long way, and that's just what he does. Then he goes to her grandmothers which is only like 5 houses over from mine. Does he really feel it necessairy to rub salt in the wounds?? I'm not sure what I ever did to him that made me is #1 enemy, and he purposly goes out of his way to hurt me. Because it's obvious that's what he's doing, Seems to me all I did was forgive him for his cheating , lying and sneaking around, and being there for him whenever he was down, and support him on top of it. My logics must be backwards, because I thought they were all kind acts towards him.
I have been thinking about it, but most of that was anger for all the nasty things he's done to me in the past, and then the grande finale of nastiness at the end of it. More or less when I thought about it I would just get so mad, and that's the way it has been for the past 2 weeks.
I didn't find myself missing him or crying over him, basically because I was so mad. I didn't even dream about him....until lastnight.
I woke up after this dream, almost stunned at how real it was. In the dream I went to his house to get my cats, and my fish. He came home, and I was crying and telling him how much I loved him, and wanted him back. At first (in the dream) he was normal telling me that he missed me so much too, Then he got cold telling me he didn't want to be with me, and was telling me things he's done since we've been apart. I was crying and begging him to tell me he loved me. Then all of a sudden I snapped awake, and was stunned. Then I was back to being angry when I thought of him. (Which I try to aviod doing).
I thought I was getting through it fairly well without going through the missing and "withdrawl" stage. I wonder if this was a sign to myself telling me how much I really do miss him and still love him, or if it was simply just a dream.
Oh and another update, he's been down my way alot! Her (his new super young jailbait g/f) parents live down the road from me. A few people has told me that they've seen him. Funny, when he was with me for 2 years, he never had any gas $ to come down even when I offered to give him some, now he is down all the time, sort of rubbing it in my face. To get to her parents house, there is another road which saves alot of time coming from his house. In order to go by my house, and all my friends houses, he has to take the long way, and that's just what he does. Then he goes to her grandmothers which is only like 5 houses over from mine. Does he really feel it necessairy to rub salt in the wounds?? I'm not sure what I ever did to him that made me is #1 enemy, and he purposly goes out of his way to hurt me. Because it's obvious that's what he's doing, Seems to me all I did was forgive him for his cheating , lying and sneaking around, and being there for him whenever he was down, and support him on top of it. My logics must be backwards, because I thought they were all kind acts towards him.