Please help!!!!!!!!

[misskitty]

I am so miserable. Yesterday my boyfriend called me, and right after he called his cell phone rang and he asked me to hang on. Then he talked to his ex-gf (the mother of his kid) for 15 minutes while I waited on the other phone. I could hear their conversation. They were talking about some changes they are making on their court-ordered child custody agreement, but my boyfriend seemed really chatty and they just seemed to be drawing out the conversation. Finally they hung up.

Then he came to the phone and said "I'm so sorry, I forgot you were waiting." I said, "What happened?" He said some people called. I said who? He said his sister, his boss, his cousin. He lied to me! I said "What about your ex?" And he said no, but then he admitted it when I said I heard the whole thing. He said he lied because he knew I would get mad.

I've been sick over this! I've been crying since it happened. First of all, he forgot I was on the phone! Second of all, he talked to her for 15 minutes! Third, he lied to me about it! He says I'm way overreacting and acting crazy, but I can't help it. I just can't believe this. He says he can't stand her, but if that is true, why did he drag out a dumb conversation for 15 minutes? It was a problem that could have been settled in 5!

Am I overreacting? We have been together for 2 1/2 years. I feel so sick over this. I couldn't sleep all night and I couldn't eat all day today and I've been doing nothing but cry.

Please help me!!!!!! :confused:

[Rich]

Sometimes when people get on a subject they forget things. Him forgetting that you were on the phone might have been like that.

It was inconsiderate. But if he apologized and was sincere about it, then forget it. If it happens a few times, then there might be more to it and how he views you. As for right now, forget it and move on.

As for his ex. It's a good thing for the child that they can talk and discuss things. That's a lot better then the alternative where they could both be vindictive, hurtful and petty towards each other. What you need to be comfortable with is why he divorced his ex in the first place. There's always a good reason why two people separate and why 99% of the time that divorced people don't get back together. I wouldn't sweat that.

What you need to work on with your BF is trust, openness, honesty and communication. You need to work out why he feels that you'd get mad if he said to you that he was speaking with his ex? He wasn't HONEST and OPEN with you because he couldn't TRUST your reaction or your relationship.

Those are the areas that you should be fretting over. Take care of those issues and these little things will go away. Treat the cause, not the symptoms.

Rich

[eightball61]

You are not over reacting to a lie. For some reason he is emabarressed or ashamed to let you know that she called. This isn't going to be healthy in the future if he keeps this up. People dont realize that the truth can hurt but its better than lieing about it. They have some things that they gotta work out but the lieing is not helping you out any. I hope he does realize his intention and hopefully will be more honest in the future.