hello

[Mona]

:) Hello, new to this, please work with me LOL

[eightball61]

Welcome :D We all start somewheres :p

[Mona]

I have been in a relationship for 12 years. This last year he has become addicted to the internet. If he wasn't in a relationship, I would say, oh well, it's his business, but hes 54 and we are expecting our first child in October. I am 37, attractive, work, educated and so is he. He started this with his 17 year old last year as a joke, using fake names and going on singles groups. Now he his hooked and admits it. I tell him it isn't nice to play with peoples heads and that they have feelings and what he is doing could be very hurtful to someone. He gets frustrated because he says hes not cheating, but he might as well be with the time and effort he spends doing this crap. Please help. Please bear in mind I am not wanting to gang up on him, or hear negative remarks, I simply want sincere, honest input from the group. Thank you!!! :o

[eightball61]

I am addicted to these boards and internet on my free time because its a good tool for boredem. On the other hand he is doing what a million of others are doing and thats giving sites and the web a bad name. Sure he is addicted to the thrill of it but we both know that his actions are wrong doing.

There are a few things I lke to know about your relationship like why aren't you both married after 12 years of a relationship? What are "both" of your terms?

There isn't really any way of stopping him unless a) he does it for himself or B) you get rid of the computer. He has to see whats more important to him. Its seems he has some control over you if he continues to do this. If you dont like this and for real want him to stop then you need to put your foot down. You need to let him know your expectation of him. You have a child on the way and his thrill should be to that and not getting off to others and playing mind games. Its sad that being pregnant you have to face this kind of stress but he needs a good butt whopping :D

[Mona]

well, we are not married because i have this phobia after the first marriage failing. i took on the moto of dont fix it if its not broke. i have decided to take a time out of our relationship, evaluate whats important to me and whats best for me and my son jordan whos 14. i have very faded trust in my counter part and i beleive if its not going to get better any time soon, i may desolve the relationship for my own mental and physical well being. i am numb to what he does any more, and i know if nothing changes, nothing changes. i have to make the needed changes for me and if he decides what his priorities are is the internet, then i will break it off. i have to do this. the coming baby should have been enough, but if not, then he will have to keep his addiction and i will work on getting me emotionally and mentally healthy for all the other's in my life who do care and matter to me. i dont share my issues with my family, so i dont really have any one to talk this over with. thats why i sought this forum.
thanks and i patiently await your response.
Mona :)

[eightball61]

In your last post you see wveything I see and what you have to do to care for the baby on the way and for yourself. It sucks that you lost trust to a marriage before and now facing somthing again. This makes you as a person lose hope. This is easier to say but dont give up hope though. The are many rotten apples to the pile but you will find a good apple if you dig deep enough. Try to treat every new comer like nothing happened but just take your time with things. every person is different in the dating scene and different in character. Just be yourself and care for you and the new wonderful joy on the way.


PS you have to let us know when you deliver :D

[Mona]

:p I realize people always know what the answer is long before they ask the question, it's just when's it's their own truth to understand, they tend to ignore what is obvious. I think it's called denial. In some circumstances it's a wonderful buffer, but not a buffer meant to live by. I guess , no, I know thats what I have been doing. I realize that even if we can't be honest with others, the worst is to not be honest with one's self. Oh, the baby is due in late September or early October, won't know till they do an visual ultrasound. I could go into details about that uncertain issue, but it's "Woman talk" about the why we sometimes don't know because the montly thing appeared to come the prior month, but I am not sure thats what it was. LOL

[eightball61]

I like thyis saying " A womens gotta do what a womens gotta do". This is the case here and you know that you are pregnant and have to do things for yourself. If he can't be the proper father figure then you dont need it. You are only 37 and still have time to settle with someone that cares. Don't think 37 is old because you are far from it. :p

[Mona]

Actually, I am 37 years young. LOL I forgot to mention that a have a 7 1/2 month old fox squirrel, Mira, I rescued, that keeps me busy and VERY happy. She is not releasable, something is wrong with her back feet, she hops, but other than that she is perfectly healthy, and she takes up a lot of my time, along with work, my 14 year old son, socializing w/friends and family.
:)

[eightball61]

and she takes up a lot of my time, along with work, my 14 year old son, socializing w/friends and family.
:)



& thats all you need if that all makes you happy. Having a man in your life should be considered an asset. Charish what you have now with you son, family, and the fox squirrel. This man is not making you happy at the moment and I dont think he ever will unless he decides to grow up and learn to be a father.........


ps 37 is not old :)

[Mona]

I have many things good and many things to keep me busy. Oh, the due date is 10/10/05.

[missy1985]

hey im new to this, get very bored at work so thought i would set myself up with something to do :p

[eightball61]

Welcome Missy,

Some of us do the same thing durning the work day (like me). :D

[eightball61]

I have many things good and many things to keep me busy. Oh, the due date is 10/10/05.


Just use those thing to keep busy and I look foward in you updating us when you do deliver :)

[radar]

That's so cool. :cool:

[Howard]

Hi Mona.I'm Howard.How are you? ;)