So what do you do when...?

[dumbfounded]

I opted to start a new thread as opposed to adding on to the already lengthy "11 year relationship...." thread.

A quick update, things haven't changed really in fact, financially, it got bad. Not only are we dealing with alot of confusion on "Chevy's" part but a storm came thru and knocked out our air conditioner and water heater. To make it worse the fuel pump went out on our vehicle so although things haven't changed, its because we haven't taken any time to sit down and discuss them either for obvious reasons.

Anyways, to get to the point of this new thread, there are a few questions I have. What does it mean when the woman says she doesn't know how she feels, what she wants to do, and doesn't want to talk about it? How should I proceed? What few times we've tried talking, I end up doing most of the talking and she has this look on her face like I'm wasting her time. When I ask her if she'd like to share any thoughts, I get the above response. Do I just leave her alone for now? I'm concerned about not at least talking about our problems because I feel if they go unchecked, things will worsen but, I also know that by talking to her when she's not ready to will have the same affect. I'm so hurt by all of this and its proven to be very difficult to deal with, knowing your other half for 11 years doesn't look at you the same as they used to. I've thought of just packing a bag and moving out for a week or so just to give her space to think. Would that be a good idea? Just looking for suggestions...

[coach]

You seem to be right back where you were last week?

Did things not go as planned Wednesday night?

[dumbfounded]

No and here's why. Instead of taking the evening to go out and dine somewhere, just the 2 of us. We opted to go to the club that she works at. So any chance of chatting or anything of the sort went out the window because she was preoccupied with her friendscoworkers. I should've known that was going to happen. That would be like me asking her if she wanted to go out and then taking her to a concert I want to go see and where all of my friends would be ya know?

I know the best thing I can do is to just let her go and have her fun and be as supportive as possible while I take care of the child and house. Its just hard to deal with when I've been with her for so long and not getting the affection I used to from her.

[coach]

It sounds very difficult.

It takes two to work things out, and it sounds as if she's not in to that, at least at the moment.

All I can suggest, if you want to give the relationship every chance, is that you make the most of the present with her, maybe take her out, make a fuss of her, etc, in the hope that she will realise she has something to lose by not making an effort to save the relationship.

I don't think it's a good idea to leave - that may give her the excuse she needs to opt out completely.

Sorry I can't be of more help in a positive way.