kukerdan
02-15-2005, 03:35 AM
:(
Ok, I've always considered my self fairly able and competent when it comes to solving relationship problems, but latley i cant seem to help my situation at all..
Heres my story, stick with me through this one, its a whopper.
I have been with my current girlfriend for nearly 4 years. It started out somewhat serious, and quickly was full blown serious relationship, We have been In Love from the start. We have had bad experiances, etc, the usual, but have always been able to work it out. Last december, we broke up, for around 3 months, for reasons i couldnt even comprehend.
I basically felt she was leaving me for another guy(s) and came crawling back when she got in a car accident in february, and we have been togather since. Her reasons for leaving me where 'i cant do this anymore' , when asked do what, she had no answer, she also said 'if we are really in love, than somthing will bring us back togather' ... and it did...
she said i was sufficating her, even though i had been away at college, and barly go to spend any time with her, and all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends, almost all guys, that she met that year, not me, who she had known for 3 before hand.
Than after breaking my heart......... we had , and than she asked me if it felt good to have 'no ties '.. and said not to get the wrong idea about it.
So basically after being completly trashed, i went back to school, and completly ignored her untill she called me crying about the car accident, and how i was the only person she was thinking about, etc. etc.
So, i let it all go, and got back togather with her........
It was amazing from then (march) untill about a month ago.
To make a long story short, when we got back togather in march, we, having been ually involved for 2 years prior to that, had 'got back togather ' all that weekend. She, claiming to know her body, said she wasnt ovulating and just got rid of her period, so we had unprotected . Now, my girlfriend has missed her period for months on end before, and its always been a scare, but this went on and on and on, with her claiming nothing to be wrong, and me at school worrying like crazy... untill, the day i came home after my last final, december 14, and I learned I was a father of a baby girl....
you can imagine the imense shock that settled over me. Im 19, and shes 17....
But, everything has been working out, her parents/family is taking care of the baby, and once she reaches 3 months, my family will help too. We are both going to go to, and finish college... So our major worries were settled.
So, the baby has been living at her house, and i decided to stay home this semester for mine, and her sanity, and so i could be there for her, and im taking local classes and working...
Well, my best friend came into my life when he got himsel kicked out of his house, and moved in with me.
Ever since then, things have gone down hill severly.
After a few weeks of living with me, he inherited $30,000 , bought a car, got an apartment, moved out after living with me for a month and a half.
during this month and a half, he didnt give me a damn minute alone with my girlfriend, and our time is short enough as it is, because she has to take care of the baby when her mother isnt there. (yes i help, but i also do work and school)
Since he got the money, all he wants to do is blow it, its been a month, hes under 10,000 . He takes us out, treats us to dinner, has us help him shopping.. It was ok at first, but now thats all my girlfriend wants to do. she has no interest in spending any time with me, she has chris pick her up from work if im not there, they have gone shopping multiple times without me, shes on the phone with him constantly, if im with them shes a complete and utter snob to me, We went to the mall recently, and she had angered me before i even got in the car, and than ignored me, and stayed withen 2 feet of chris for the next two hours, not even asking me what was wrong. We were supposed to go help him pick out fish, but i was so livid, i had him bring me home....
Now, she called me later that night, and I had thought it was resolved, i brought up a talk we had a week earlier, where We had made it clear that she was my girlfriend, wanted to be my girlfriend, and needed to start acting like my girlfriend,... and that she was going to cut the shit with chris, and she swears there is nothing going on between them.
So every thing was good last night, we had ice cream, had an intimate moment, and than i took her home....Than today, When im almost done with work, chris stops by and pays me the money he owed me, and goes to the pet store where erin (my girlfriend) works, I get off work 15 mins later, and hes still there....
So we pick out fish, and some other stuff.... and than i say i wasnt going to my night class because it was going to be BS today, and she flips on me....
yelling... in her store
'you better go to class, i have things to do I have to get you stuff for valentines day, than im hanging out with my mom' ...... Im like, i dont want to go to this class, the weather is teerrible, and i want to spend today with you '
'i thought we were spending tomarrow togather that was the plan' (insert more yelling)
So, im like, calm down please, ill stay here untill you have to leave in an hour and drive you home,
'No you wont, i dont care if your here, chris is picking me up, '
Im like ... no........................ im picking you up, do not start with this .....
so as chris is leaving, she goes 'your picking me up right chris...'
and he says yes, and leaves...
she then proceeds to scream at me, and tell me im pissing her off... i offer to help her finish her work and take her home, but this just escalades untill im so upset i just left the store shaking.........
i did not understand where that came from.
So i had her on the phone right before she was leaving, ...
chris was there of course
and she, as usual, made our argument public with my friend, letting him know that i had said i was gonna beat his ass if he tried anything, and he needed to give me some time with her and get out of my life for a while, etc.
And saying 'give me some god damn space'
she also said 'this is your option, tomarrow before or after school, you can come to my house'
And with that said she wanted to hang up the phone,
now im upset and i couldnt really say much, so i just said bye.
I dont know what to do.............
She blew up at me from no where,
This is what i was thinking:
totally blowing her off untill she calls me
or
Going to see my kid, and blowing her off there
or
Go up and lay down the line one last time......
basically the line being, im not taking this kind of treatment, cut the chris bullshit, and act like your my girlfriend........
any advice? :confused: :confused:
Ok, I've always considered my self fairly able and competent when it comes to solving relationship problems, but latley i cant seem to help my situation at all..
Heres my story, stick with me through this one, its a whopper.
I have been with my current girlfriend for nearly 4 years. It started out somewhat serious, and quickly was full blown serious relationship, We have been In Love from the start. We have had bad experiances, etc, the usual, but have always been able to work it out. Last december, we broke up, for around 3 months, for reasons i couldnt even comprehend.
I basically felt she was leaving me for another guy(s) and came crawling back when she got in a car accident in february, and we have been togather since. Her reasons for leaving me where 'i cant do this anymore' , when asked do what, she had no answer, she also said 'if we are really in love, than somthing will bring us back togather' ... and it did...
she said i was sufficating her, even though i had been away at college, and barly go to spend any time with her, and all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends, almost all guys, that she met that year, not me, who she had known for 3 before hand.
Than after breaking my heart......... we had , and than she asked me if it felt good to have 'no ties '.. and said not to get the wrong idea about it.
So basically after being completly trashed, i went back to school, and completly ignored her untill she called me crying about the car accident, and how i was the only person she was thinking about, etc. etc.
So, i let it all go, and got back togather with her........
It was amazing from then (march) untill about a month ago.
To make a long story short, when we got back togather in march, we, having been ually involved for 2 years prior to that, had 'got back togather ' all that weekend. She, claiming to know her body, said she wasnt ovulating and just got rid of her period, so we had unprotected . Now, my girlfriend has missed her period for months on end before, and its always been a scare, but this went on and on and on, with her claiming nothing to be wrong, and me at school worrying like crazy... untill, the day i came home after my last final, december 14, and I learned I was a father of a baby girl....
you can imagine the imense shock that settled over me. Im 19, and shes 17....
But, everything has been working out, her parents/family is taking care of the baby, and once she reaches 3 months, my family will help too. We are both going to go to, and finish college... So our major worries were settled.
So, the baby has been living at her house, and i decided to stay home this semester for mine, and her sanity, and so i could be there for her, and im taking local classes and working...
Well, my best friend came into my life when he got himsel kicked out of his house, and moved in with me.
Ever since then, things have gone down hill severly.
After a few weeks of living with me, he inherited $30,000 , bought a car, got an apartment, moved out after living with me for a month and a half.
during this month and a half, he didnt give me a damn minute alone with my girlfriend, and our time is short enough as it is, because she has to take care of the baby when her mother isnt there. (yes i help, but i also do work and school)
Since he got the money, all he wants to do is blow it, its been a month, hes under 10,000 . He takes us out, treats us to dinner, has us help him shopping.. It was ok at first, but now thats all my girlfriend wants to do. she has no interest in spending any time with me, she has chris pick her up from work if im not there, they have gone shopping multiple times without me, shes on the phone with him constantly, if im with them shes a complete and utter snob to me, We went to the mall recently, and she had angered me before i even got in the car, and than ignored me, and stayed withen 2 feet of chris for the next two hours, not even asking me what was wrong. We were supposed to go help him pick out fish, but i was so livid, i had him bring me home....
Now, she called me later that night, and I had thought it was resolved, i brought up a talk we had a week earlier, where We had made it clear that she was my girlfriend, wanted to be my girlfriend, and needed to start acting like my girlfriend,... and that she was going to cut the shit with chris, and she swears there is nothing going on between them.
So every thing was good last night, we had ice cream, had an intimate moment, and than i took her home....Than today, When im almost done with work, chris stops by and pays me the money he owed me, and goes to the pet store where erin (my girlfriend) works, I get off work 15 mins later, and hes still there....
So we pick out fish, and some other stuff.... and than i say i wasnt going to my night class because it was going to be BS today, and she flips on me....
yelling... in her store
'you better go to class, i have things to do I have to get you stuff for valentines day, than im hanging out with my mom' ...... Im like, i dont want to go to this class, the weather is teerrible, and i want to spend today with you '
'i thought we were spending tomarrow togather that was the plan' (insert more yelling)
So, im like, calm down please, ill stay here untill you have to leave in an hour and drive you home,
'No you wont, i dont care if your here, chris is picking me up, '
Im like ... no........................ im picking you up, do not start with this .....
so as chris is leaving, she goes 'your picking me up right chris...'
and he says yes, and leaves...
she then proceeds to scream at me, and tell me im pissing her off... i offer to help her finish her work and take her home, but this just escalades untill im so upset i just left the store shaking.........
i did not understand where that came from.
So i had her on the phone right before she was leaving, ...
chris was there of course
and she, as usual, made our argument public with my friend, letting him know that i had said i was gonna beat his ass if he tried anything, and he needed to give me some time with her and get out of my life for a while, etc.
And saying 'give me some god damn space'
she also said 'this is your option, tomarrow before or after school, you can come to my house'
And with that said she wanted to hang up the phone,
now im upset and i couldnt really say much, so i just said bye.
I dont know what to do.............
She blew up at me from no where,
This is what i was thinking:
totally blowing her off untill she calls me
or
Going to see my kid, and blowing her off there
or
Go up and lay down the line one last time......
basically the line being, im not taking this kind of treatment, cut the chris bullshit, and act like your my girlfriend........
any advice? :confused: :confused: