Why?

[nikol0304]

My boyfriend of a year and a half does not trust me. Period. That's all there is to it. Lately its been really bad. Everytime someone calls my phone hes right there to see who it is and he constantly has to know where I am. The thing is..is that I am SURELY not cheating on him..but better yet I know hes not cheating on me. I know some people say that when your man starts accusing you...it really means hes the one being unfaithful. BUT, we are together every night. We live together..we go to bed together and wake up together. He also has been saying that I don't show him that I love him enough lately. EXCEPT I do!! I'm always the one thats kissing him..or holding his hand and basically just loving him. I even bought him a bunch of lovey dovey stuff for him on V-Day. What gets me is that he says he feels the way I've REALLY been feeling! I've said and done everything I can to prove my love and faithfulness to him, but I just can't understand why its not enough!! What can I say or do to prove my love and devotion to him that I havent already done?!

[eightball61]

He may have this jealousy because he is trying to get you tide down but not in the marriage way. From your other post you mention that he really wants you pregnant. My thoughts are still the same though with the whole thing. You need to discuss with him your thoughts and he has to be adult enough to understand your wishes. If you guys fight way to much about the talking like you have been then just take some time apart so he can realize whats working and whats not.

[Rich]

Your BF is either immature, controlling or insecure. He might even be a combination of the 3.

Sorry to say this because I don't keep track of screen names and posts, but if you're the same one who wrote that your BF wants you pregnant to ensure your togetherness, then I already explained my feelings on that subject.

If you're the same person then you need to move on and leave him. If you don't then you're in for a long line of hurt. Be forewarned. Your BF has issues that he needs talk to a professional about. His actions and thought patterns all didn't come about from his previous relationship. There's some deeper issues there.

It's always so easy to blame or actions, or how we act on somebody else or what someone did to us. That's a cop out and a crock of shit.

Depending on when we start dating, we've typically had anywhere from between 14 and 20 odd years of developing out own beliefs and thoughts. To go out with someone for a few months or even a couple of years and then blame them for the way we act is garbage. We each control our own actions and are responsible for our own actions. To blame someone else is the easy way out so that we don't have to look within, admit our faults and work to correct them.

Just look around at our society and all the stupid decisions that people make and then they try to sue someone else for their stupidity.

IMO, if you're not a glutton for punishment, then move on. If you are and feel like you can change the world, then stay. Only don't complain when times are tough because it's the road you chose.

Rich

[nikol0304]

Rich- I truly appreciate your intentions to help me out. However I don't understand why you go about it the way you do. I am very much in love with my boyfriend as I know he is with me. For me to just say forget it..isnt quite as easy as you make it out to be. This is a relationship forum, correct? It's a place for others to give advice and consolation..not to judge and condemn. I appreciate your concern as I know how you may look at my situation. However its not QUITE as bad as what it may sound. I know he may have some issues that need to be worked out as far as insecurites and what not, but I'm very willing to help him with that - If that means suggesting him to seek counsel, then so be it. But overall, he is my boyfriend and I love him dearly. Obviously, if the day comes where I feel that there is no more that I can do to prove my love and devotion to him..I will have to walk away. I do appreciate your intellect on the situation though because you are absolutely right on everything you said. But right now..like I said before..I just need some advice. Thanks again. :)

[eightball61]

The best advice as been stated in both threads is that you need to communicate with him on this issue and the other. Remember, you both have been fighting a lot and it is to much then you need to seek a break. Sure he has problems and we all do but some of the problems sometimes can;t be worked out that easy. Some people need a relaity check on things. He needs to open up and realize the hurt here.

[Rich]

My apologies for coming across so bluntly.

I often find that people can't, or don't want to see what's right in front of them and circles are repeated over and over again. Then they ask why?

I know that it's human nature to want to believe people, help people out and to not give up, but when situations are repeatedly seen, there are reasons.

I concur that I should temper my views more as advice then I do sometimes.

Good luck,

Rich

[nikol0304]

Thanks for all your guys' help. I really appreciate it. The bf and I are actually going to sit down and have a long talk about what we both want out of this relationship and what we need to work on. So - I guess I'll keep ya updated. ;)

Thanks Again.

[eightball61]

Your welcome and please do keep us posted :D