View Full Version : Trust Issues
Shorty82
11-19-2007, 10:17 PM
Every guy I have dated has always cheated on me and even my ex husband cheated on me. Well, now I am dating a wonderful person that is just great. He treats me wonderfully, better then I could ever ask for! Anyways, I have been having some trust issues with him, for no reason at all. He has never cheated on me or even shown the signs, but I worry about it. I'm always wondering what hes doin, whos he talking to, when hes on the computer or I'm not around. I have even started some argument over it and I really don't want to be that way. I honestly love him and care about him and I do trust him, but like I said in the back of my mind I wonder. Is there any way I can make these feelings go away? How do I get myself to 100% trust him?
Verzen
11-19-2007, 10:26 PM
Every guy I have dated has always cheated on me and even my ex husband cheated on me. Well, now I am dating a wonderful person that is just great. He treats me wonderfully, better then I could ever ask for! Anyways, I have been having some trust issues with him, for no reason at all. He has never cheated on me or even shown the signs, but I worry about it. I'm always wondering what hes doin, whos he talking to, when hes on the computer or I'm not around. I have even started some argument over it and I really don't want to be that way. I honestly love him and care about him and I do trust him, but like I said in the back of my mind I wonder. Is there any way I can make these feelings go away? How do I get myself to 100% trust him?
"I" dont trust people either. My girlfriends have all either been married or have cheated on me multiple times.
I will probably not trust another girl ever again and I will ask them where they are at all times.
My current gf thinks im too controlling, but when I notice people sending her suggestive emails and when she refuses to tell some of her friends we are together (who always try to hook her up with someone else) I will always wonder and be very very suspicious.. Your not alone in your endeavers.. I wish I could trust her, but all the women ive dated have proven to be untrustworthy.
Shorty82
11-19-2007, 10:30 PM
See now I have met a lot of his friends and we all get a long great. I love his friends! They are really cool. And all of his friends know about me. So, why am I worrying?
Verzen
11-19-2007, 10:35 PM
See now I have met a lot of his friends and we all get a long great. I love his friends! They are really cool. And all of his friends know about me. So, why am I worrying?
You will always worry because you dont want it to happan again. IMO it is best to worry then to stay oblivious to the whole situation.
Shorty82
11-20-2007, 12:19 AM
I get what you are saying, but there has been arguments cause of it and I don't wanna fight about it...I want to be able to trust him, but not sure how...
draconis
11-20-2007, 01:01 AM
A part of love is trust in the other person. If you have 20 relationships all it will ever take is one to find that right person, he deserves that you keep an open mind and give him the benefit of the doubt.
draconis
Shorty82
11-20-2007, 02:14 AM
Very true...I really do need to give him the benefit of the doubt
draconis
11-20-2007, 02:45 AM
I have seen so many people throw away a good thing because they can not believe that they have it and ruin it looking for the flaws. Enjoy and I wish you happiness, I hope he is you one.
draconis
The answer here is simple.
Did you ever get to the true reason why all the men in your life have cheated?
If the answer is no, then of course you're going to worry because you don't know why they cheated and you don't know if the same issues will rear their ugly head.
If you did get to the bottom of why the men in your life cheated, then there should be no worries because you're aware now and won't let the same things happen in this relationship that happened in those.
You're in total control here. If you know, then the same things won't happen. It's all up to you.
Knowledge is king. Always know why things happen in life.
Shorty82
11-21-2007, 09:09 PM
i have no clue why the men cheated on me and i guess you're right...im really scared that the same thing is just going repeat itself...which sucks cause i finally found a great guy and i really don't want to lose him.
draconis
11-21-2007, 09:55 PM
Percentage wise about one in three men cheat (30%)and women about a quarter of the time (23%) but it doesn't mean that all will, In fact a majority never cheat in all their lives.
draconis
Howard
11-22-2007, 01:38 PM
Percentage wise about one in three men cheat (30%)and women about a quarter of the time (23%) but it doesn't mean that all will, In fact a majority never cheat in all their lives.
draconis
But why cheat when you have such a beautiful gorgeous woman? :confused:
Why did you never find out why the men cheated on you???? Wouldn't you want to know?
There are many reasons why people cheat. Too numerous to mention here.
Quite honestly, I would approach your ex's and have a brief conversation with them. Just explain that you're on a road to self discovery and understanding and ask them about your relationships with them and what went wrong. Ask why they cheated.
There's nothing wrong with mature adults having conversations about things. It never hurts to ask.
Don't rehash and get into arguments with them in trying to justify whatever actions took place. Just listen to what they say and take it all in. You're on an information gathering mission, not trying to fix that old relationship.
You might be surprised at what you hear and I'm sure that there was alot of miscommunication that took place.
In order to not repeat history, you need to understand history.
Give it a try and it will help you here.
draconis
11-22-2007, 10:20 PM
But why cheat when you have such a beautiful gorgeous woman? :confused:
Why cheat on a partner period if you want someone else leave who you are with and then go after the other person.
draconis
eightball61
11-23-2007, 01:31 PM
As you know these issues have stemed from your past relationships. Now that you have a great guy in hand these issues are coming forth which cause you to belief there has to be something wrong with him(i.e he may cheat like the others).
You have to remember it will take many wrong to find the right one. You past relationships have not helped anythingthing out but based on experience you CAN get over these insecurities. I will say they will be with you but you as a couple will work a way through it.
What you should do is talk to him about your past and why you feel the way you do. Explain to him how you feel about him and where you'd like to see the relationship go. Make it a strong point that you want to be with him and work with him through this. If he has a full understanding of you and how you feel he will work things out with you.
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