A little update on me

[Verzen]

Sorry I havn't been around recently. Lost my job to someone who charges less for more professional work then I do in the subject of expertise. (I got in the job to make a flash website, boss decided he wanted an HTML website instead.. that of which I knew nothing about, and charges 1/10th the price I charged him for)

I broke up with my girlfriend for the umpteenth time. Told her I never wanted to date her again.
She cheated on me, I, being the idiot I am, tried to still make it work.
She stole from me, I, being the idiot I am tried trusting her to repay the money she barrowed from me.
She lies to me nonstop, I, being the idiot that I am, thought that there may be some redemption in here and I might be able to change her.
She broke up with me to be with the boyfriend she had 7 years ago.. the one who took her virginity and her first love.. all that crap. So I pretty much did the only smart thing ive done in that relationship. I told her that I never want to date her again. It's one thing to fall prety to cheating on someone. It's another to put your current bf on the back burner while you try to rekindle a long lost love.
I know that sounds weird... But people cheat, aspecially if they have low self esteem like my ex does. So I forgave her for the incident.
The odd thing is, is that shes highly religious. (She refuses to go see the golden compass.) From a psychological point of view, she needs god to guide her, because she knows that she is not a good person.. and she needs to find redemption in a higher being... from what I gathered. I'm not too religious myself. It always seems to get involved in politics one way or another... and I hate politics. =P

So, the general concensus from this situation? I'm an idiot. Love is truly blind. For we cannot see past the things we love. We hate to lose the things we care about. We see only substance within futility.

This experiance has put a damper on my view of women, no offense... But if one person can do this much damage and I did not see it until it was too late... Then what have my other ex's done that I don't know about?
Will I ever trust women again? I don't think i'll ever fully trust another women again... I let my guard down, now im in debt with no job and psychologically scarred from the relationship.

[eightball61]

Will I ever trust women again? I don't think i'll ever fully trust another women again... I let my guard down, now im in debt with no job and psychologically scarred from the relationship.

I feel your fustration with everything and this is the right place to let it all out. Now that you got it all out it's now time to work on you.

Someone who cheats can change a number of things about person that they cheated on. As you see here you have a different view on relationships and doubting that you can trust again however your not alone and many do find ways to trust again. You will have to find it in you to trust. It may take a few sour relationships but you'll find you'll learn to trust again because not everyone is like your ex.

When you are ready to date again you need to be ready for it. What I mean is the new girl isn't your past.....she your present and hopefully future. In other words, it's won't be fair for her to pay for your bad experiences(i.e. not trusting her, questioning everything, sneaking to find things out).

Keep in mind though that you're doing great for yourself overall in trying to move on. The next steps should be on working on you before a relationship comes into play. Look for a new job/client, work on self-esteem, hang out wit the buds more often, and do stuff that you enjoy. Once things are ready another doll willl walk into your life :) It's hard but in relationships there is more downs that ups.

[Howard]

Sorry you feel that way,Verzen.Things will look up for you,don't worry,be happy.:)

[draconis]

I agree with eightball you need to work on you before you go into another destructive relationship.

draconis

[blatio]

I feel ya man. I was talking to a friend of mine this morning about this. I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. She'll admit to this; I treated her like a queen, very supportive of her, was there emotionally, etc etc etc.

Like you, "the idiot I am", I managed to accept this and forgive. Love is blind and we do illogical things. What i was speaking to my friend about was that I laugh at myself for the things I've been putting up with. I just can't seem to let her go and I HATE IT!!!!!

So, in short, we're not idiots, we're just trying to make sense of things that aren't supposed to make sense.

Good luck to you bro!

[eightball61]

So, in short, we're not idiots, we're just trying to make sense of things that aren't supposed to make sense.




I agree and you both could learn a lot from each other since you both have something in common. Take these experiences and talk to each other because it may lead to helping each other out.

[Howard]

Just work on yourself and then see if you want to get into another relationship.