andrewszee
12-20-2007, 08:52 AM
Hi, I am new here but just want to get some opinions to help better my decisions in my relationship with my girlfriend who I love a lot.
Problem #1: I have been going out with her for almost 7 months. She is the type of girl who has more guy friends then girl friends. Now I am completely cool with that, but her best friends are guys who used to like her (my feelings about that is it's very sketchy because I know for a fact that if I was physically attracted to a girl that was a friend once that would never change.) My girlfriend just keeps contradicting herself and confusing me. She says she is against drugs and doesn't drink, then one day she told me she drank with her parents, then another time I went and got high (weed), and she told me she never wants to see my high or drunk. Then I tell her, that I never want her to drink without me around her (because her single guy friends could drink with her and she could cheat on me and not know it because it makes you stupid and have bad judgement). I had her promise that to me, and she was very hardheaded about agreeing but she finally did agree and promised me she wouldn't. Then recently I told her that I am willing to quit drugs for her then she said she never really drank at all and won't ever drink ever again, and today she saw a bottle of vodka on the table and said "we could get drunk off that.." then I said "yeah.." then made a blank face with a mopey attitude and then she told me "..but i'd only drink with you". Now tomorrow I am confused should I be mad at her and let her know that I am not ok with her saying something to me and then switching answers around.
Problem #2: Another thing, I know that woman in relationships take things differently then guys. Today me and my girlfriend were walking out of the mall and I looked over at another girl who was what you could call a hot mom and she watched me do it. I told her that she is the only one I want to be with and that I did not have any ual thoughts about the lady I 'checked out'. I am not sure what to say or do about this, I don't want her to feel like I am always checking out other woman while she isn't around. I am not sure about how to even talk about that with her.
Problem #3: And last problem, my girlfriend wanted to go to a dance then we talked about it and decided not to go to formal and to go to prom. Well about 2 months before formal she informs me she wants to go, and I said I didn't really want to go and then she goes and says if you don't then i'll go with someone else to manipulate me into going. So I went to formal with her I recently graduated and shes about to as well. I never went to dances because I don't like to dance. So we go everything is nice but we get to the dance place and before we go and wait in line she says she was hoping her ex-boyfriend was there so he could see what he messed up on and left her (she was very pretty and knew it, and it was a previous relationship about a 6-7 months before her and I met) so this made me mad but I didn't want to screw up her dance, I didn't say anything and we get to the dance and there was just awkwardness, we got up danced on and off about 6 times for short time. Then one of those times we sat down and her friend came and sat down next to us. The music was really loud so I couldn't hear very much of what either of them were saying. I did hear the sentence "we don't have any chemistry" and that just made me so mad.. then to top it off she saw someone who I was a friend with and said why don't you go say hi to him. So I pull out my phone and type out in text (to avoid embarassing her around her friend) saying "if you want to talk shit about me say it while I'm around you" then she denied that she was going to do that. I am not idiot and know that is way to get rid of me so she can talk about me behind my back. So we get up and dance then I act mad so she understands so we go outside and she asks are you mad at me? Then I reply yes.. "no chemistry huh?" then she said she meant to say "dancing chemistry". So finally we leave about half hour after that then she says she feels bad that she made me go and then it was a bad dance. The problem here is she lied and still probably will not admit the truth about her wanting to talk about me behind my back.
any comments on how I should react/ tell her things she needs to start doing and stop doing?
Problem #1: I have been going out with her for almost 7 months. She is the type of girl who has more guy friends then girl friends. Now I am completely cool with that, but her best friends are guys who used to like her (my feelings about that is it's very sketchy because I know for a fact that if I was physically attracted to a girl that was a friend once that would never change.) My girlfriend just keeps contradicting herself and confusing me. She says she is against drugs and doesn't drink, then one day she told me she drank with her parents, then another time I went and got high (weed), and she told me she never wants to see my high or drunk. Then I tell her, that I never want her to drink without me around her (because her single guy friends could drink with her and she could cheat on me and not know it because it makes you stupid and have bad judgement). I had her promise that to me, and she was very hardheaded about agreeing but she finally did agree and promised me she wouldn't. Then recently I told her that I am willing to quit drugs for her then she said she never really drank at all and won't ever drink ever again, and today she saw a bottle of vodka on the table and said "we could get drunk off that.." then I said "yeah.." then made a blank face with a mopey attitude and then she told me "..but i'd only drink with you". Now tomorrow I am confused should I be mad at her and let her know that I am not ok with her saying something to me and then switching answers around.
Problem #2: Another thing, I know that woman in relationships take things differently then guys. Today me and my girlfriend were walking out of the mall and I looked over at another girl who was what you could call a hot mom and she watched me do it. I told her that she is the only one I want to be with and that I did not have any ual thoughts about the lady I 'checked out'. I am not sure what to say or do about this, I don't want her to feel like I am always checking out other woman while she isn't around. I am not sure about how to even talk about that with her.
Problem #3: And last problem, my girlfriend wanted to go to a dance then we talked about it and decided not to go to formal and to go to prom. Well about 2 months before formal she informs me she wants to go, and I said I didn't really want to go and then she goes and says if you don't then i'll go with someone else to manipulate me into going. So I went to formal with her I recently graduated and shes about to as well. I never went to dances because I don't like to dance. So we go everything is nice but we get to the dance place and before we go and wait in line she says she was hoping her ex-boyfriend was there so he could see what he messed up on and left her (she was very pretty and knew it, and it was a previous relationship about a 6-7 months before her and I met) so this made me mad but I didn't want to screw up her dance, I didn't say anything and we get to the dance and there was just awkwardness, we got up danced on and off about 6 times for short time. Then one of those times we sat down and her friend came and sat down next to us. The music was really loud so I couldn't hear very much of what either of them were saying. I did hear the sentence "we don't have any chemistry" and that just made me so mad.. then to top it off she saw someone who I was a friend with and said why don't you go say hi to him. So I pull out my phone and type out in text (to avoid embarassing her around her friend) saying "if you want to talk shit about me say it while I'm around you" then she denied that she was going to do that. I am not idiot and know that is way to get rid of me so she can talk about me behind my back. So we get up and dance then I act mad so she understands so we go outside and she asks are you mad at me? Then I reply yes.. "no chemistry huh?" then she said she meant to say "dancing chemistry". So finally we leave about half hour after that then she says she feels bad that she made me go and then it was a bad dance. The problem here is she lied and still probably will not admit the truth about her wanting to talk about me behind my back.
any comments on how I should react/ tell her things she needs to start doing and stop doing?