A good way to screw up a relationship

[Mightymax2]

I am looking for completely objective advice... so here's my story

almost a year now i started having feelings for a close friend of mine of more than 5 years, we are both in our early twenties. This was an akward situation for me because i didn't want to hurt our friendship in any way... we go to the same church, school.... So i discussed it with a mutual friend. He encouraged me to tell her how i feel. I was leaving to go an internship that would last for three months. So, instead of suffereing for three months thinking i should have told her i decided to tell her about 24 hours before i left. The confrontation was held on nutrual ground, but it still felt like she was completly unprepared for it. She didn't give me much of an immeditate response so i told her she could think about while i was gone. After i left the girl i knew to be the sweetest most caring considerate person in the world told our mutual friend that she didn't really want to talk to me yet. I give her some time, but i get the distinct impression that she is really mad at me and i only remotly know why. i have made several attempts to talk to her in person, email , im, but she refuses to have anything to do with me...
i wish now that i had never said anything and that things could go back to the way they were before.

a few things to comment on... 1) who was in the wrong and why
2)what can i do to try to patch things up

[eightball61]

I can relate to your situation here but i ended up dating that friend and after we found do many things not working we decided to continue the friendship. The problem is that we found it to wierd to continue out of the ual part of things and very hard to turn around the emotions. We both then decided to part ways for a bit but we never spoke again.

On your side of things I will say I see you have done no wrong here. You express what you wanted and took a risk by telling her. You did know that it was a risk but you made the attempt. If you never said anything then this would have been eating you up to say something. Right now she needs sometime to herself because she probably only see this to be a frindship and not talking to you plays in her mind that maybe this will help reverse those feelings.

I can't say for sure what may happen ion the future but dont take it as a lessoned learned yet. I have been against good friends dating since my encounter and now you see why. Its good to have a partner that you know well before you date them but its very hard to tell if you all share the same thing in wanting a relationship.