Girlfriend broke up with me last night but has already called me just now?

[HunidRacks]

My girlfriend broke up with me last night while she was out of town for a school seminar because she needed space to concentrate on herself. We havent spoken since last night and she just called me with the stupid excuse saying ' I just wanted to let you know that I have your earplugs here in my room....." and I said well I dont need them you can have them. Then she said 'welll... ok I just wanted to let you know Im home and safe'.. I said I'm glad youre ok, bye.
What does this even mean.. I mean cmon did she REALLY call me to tell me about my stupid earplugs?? ok shes back in town and ok thats fine. But doesnt telling me about the earplugs signify that she wants me to come over and get them = see her again?
Is she trying to get back all of a sudden. I mean she just got back and we just broke up and she couldnt even wait a few hours and already calls me. Girls?? Is she rethinking her decision if she called me over some stupid earplugs that quickly after the breakup??
Oh btw she is the type of person who cant ever really swallow their pride. So she wouldnt ever be the type to just straight up call back and want to get together. And more would do something shady like this. That's why I'm asking its hard to decypher what the point of the call was?

And was I right to kind of blow her off with the whole excuse of the earplugs? I do want her back, but not this easy. I don't want her to think she can do this to me and then get me back instantly. Any advice?

[Rich]

Only you know what the deal is with your GF. Trust your gut.

The excuse that she gave to break up is the generic one we all use. If you care and if the opportunity comes up, then ask her what the real reasons are.

Seems she called you to maybe see if you would beg her to reconsider, or to see how bad you miss her.

You never really said how long you were dating or specifically how old you are. Are you both in school? Is she a teacher and went to a seminar.

Maybe she had a fling while at the seminar and broke up with you so as to not have to tell you about it?

Could be all types of things.

I agree with you. She broke up with you and if she wants to get back together, then she needs to say it and initiate things. If you do it, then she'll always have the upper hand on you. Don't let stubborness or pride win here because those personality traits work against a happy relationship.

Might as well start breaking her of the habit of being too proud to admit when she's wrong, or too proud to say I'm sorry.

When she called to say that she was back in town, you should have said I don't give a crap as we're not BF/GF anymore. You don't need to check in with me.

Also, breaking up while away and over the phone is the p*ssy way out. I'd bust her balls over that. She owed you better then to do it like that.

Again, my money is on her somehow hooking up with someone, or meeting someone while away. To just up and do that without some inkling by you that things were that bad, it doesn't smell right.

[HunidRacks]

We have been together for almost 2 years. I'm 21 shes 20. And had a very codepedent relationship, we saw each other every single day. So it was obvious we needed space, and maybe that burst of freedom made her feel less stressed. I told her I could easily give her space.

I am certain she didn't cheat. She is very loyal and honesty with me, always has been for these 2 years. But it feels like she made this decision in a clouded state of mind (i.e being away from town).

This was a school seminar and I saw the schedules for it, it was from 10am to 9pm all day so I'm certain she didn't have time to go out and jock guys. Neither would she ever, she loves and cares for me alot and wouldnt ever do that. I would never doubt her.

But I'm just wondering why she cant just be a grown up person and tell me how she feels. It seems like the earplug excuse is a clear sign she wanted me to come over. I'm just wondering if I did the right thing to not give in so easily just yet.

[Howard]

How did she treat you?

[Diablo]

She's either reconsidering her decision or she was worried about you. People are aware of the fact that some people take breakups hard and she could have called out of worry, but not wanting to reconcile. But calling that quickly is an indication that she regrets that decision. Be polite with her, but she dumped you as Rich said, so she should come out say that she changed her mind. You can't ask a girl to take you back when she dumps you. That being said, don't let this turn into some sort of oneupmanship game. Be nice when she calls, but not too chummy. You did say that her mind was clouded when she dumped you. Word up, don't let her squirm on the hook too long or that regret she has will turn into anger. If she makes it clear that she's had a change of heart without saying it, just ask her if she has. If she says yes, then the ball will be in your court.

[HunidRacks]

So I decided to stop playing games and just be out with it. I texted her just now asking her if the earplugs where REALLY the reason she called. (cuz its just too ridiculous to not ask) and just texted back Yes. And I said ok well how did you think i was gonna get them. She said oh I was going out and I was gonna drop them off. And I just ok thats fine.
What bullshit. First of all, I've mentioned that she lost all her friends because of how dependent she became and she would always complain of having nowhere to go and noone to go out with, besides me, and now she's going out? First day being back? BS! I know its not another guy for sure so thats not a problem. She has one friend whos parents kick out visitors at midnight and this was already at 11pm. So most likely trying to make me jealous.
And it maddens me that even when I give her a chance to say if she really wanted to say anything she is still being stubborn about it.
I mean I dont know if I can really expect her to just fess up and be like OK NO I REALLY WANTED TO SAY SO AND SO over texting on the phone but still.
Is she just being stubborn?

[eightball61]

But I'm just wondering why she cant just be a grown up person and tell me how she feels.

If she can't be grown up enough to tell you how she feels that what makes you so positive that she would tell you if she had a fling?

She may have had a busy schedule however there is always time to meet someone.....breaks, lunch's, class, study's, ect. As Rich pointed it out, it is very odd that she breaks up out of the blue. You both may spend a lot of time together however you both weren't together at this seminar so she had her space....What's the excuse now?

How are you taking the breakup? After 2 years are you more like "like whatever", sad, and/or happy? How do you feel?

Has she even given any reason to why she wanted a breakup?

[Howard]

Do you feel you want to look for someone else?

[HunidRacks]

Well that's the strange part. I've shed many tears in our relationship in the last few months, all the stress about it. When the breakup happened it was devastating but at the same time I felt this relief of stress that I had before it happened. I havent shed a single tear over it yet and it's been 3 days. I've been hanging out with all my friends everynight, laughing my ass off and they all told me that even though I've been talking about it alot (been only a few days duh) that I dont look devastated at all.
Which worries me as I dont know whether it was the dependency I had on her that kept me with her and that I really wasnt that happy, or was it real love. I mean I do love her for sure, but I'm just worried now that it might have been more dependency than love. And maybe thats why I'm not as devastated as I'd thought I'd be.
I find it most depressing now that I dont know what to do with myself and my free time as opposed to her not being around. But I do still want her back. But I dont know, all my female friends told me that it's only been a few days of course she will be stubborn and strong at first and to give it ATLEAST a week of no calling. So I guess I'll have to see.

[HunidRacks]

Also, we saw each other every single day for 2 years. It was smothering to both of us I know, hense the codependency we built. I suppose she felt like even tho I was willing to give her more space, that she felt she couldnt force herself to do anything with it unless we werent together. That's why I feel like breaking up isnt the answer and she might rethink her decision now but I dont know.

[eightball61]

Well that's the strange part. I've shed many tears in our relationship in the last few months, all the stress about it. When the breakup happened it was devastating but at the same time I felt this relief of stress that I had before it happened. I havent shed a single tear over it yet and it's been 3 days. I've been hanging out with all my friends everynight, laughing my ass off and they all told me that even though I've been talking about it alot (been only a few days duh) that I dont look devastated at all.
Which worries me as I dont know whether it was the dependency I had on her that kept me with her and that I really wasnt that happy, or was it real love. I mean I do love her for sure, but I'm just worried now that it might have been more dependency than love. And maybe thats why I'm not as devastated as I'd thought I'd be.
I find it most depressing now that I dont know what to do with myself and my free time as opposed to her not being around. But I do still want her back. But I dont know, all my female friends told me that it's only been a few days of course she will be stubborn and strong at first and to give it ATLEAST a week of no calling. So I guess I'll have to see.

Your emotions/feelings are what they are and you shouldn't bang yourself too hard feeling the way you do now. If you feel relieved then you need to look more deeply into yourself for what this is worth.

What I'm trying to say here is that you've been having a good time with friends, sharing laughs, going out, having a good time, ect. When they are not around that's when you miss her right? If so, well that's a natural feeling that will pass.

Remember, she is the one that broke up with you for no reason. I;m sure there is a reason but that won't come out unless she does herself. You can't force her for the closer. Your best bet would be to listen to your friends and give her the space. She is the one that broke it off so this is the route that you should continue in. Continue to go out with friends and have fun. She may or may not call. If she wants to talk then here her out but if you still feel they way you do now getting back together will not be the side. You need a new start for yourself and now is the time.

[HunidRacks]

Yeah I think Imma give it till next weekend, about a week. It's only been like 2 days since this happened so I shouldnt be drawing conclusions just yet just because I'm not getting much interaction just yet. (just much? lol) My buddy said him and his gf had 2 breakups and they didnt talk for atleast a week so Ill give it that much time and if nothing then, then I'll holler one more time and nada then I'll forget about this and move on)

[Howard]

Good Luck and hopefully everything works out well,if not it wasn't meant to be.

[eightball61]

then I'll forget about this and move on)


Again, she's the one that ended relationship and ended it for no reason so why not start moving on now? Do what you want but if she comes crawling back I'd suggest you both have a good long talk before taking the relationship back on like nothing happened. If you both didn't talk or even take things slow then it will still leave your mind wondering and insecure which will lead to fights and another breakup.

[HunidRacks]

So I called her last night. It's been since Wednesday, about 4-5 days. I called her to tell her that I have some of her personal belongings so we can exchange that. And that I wanted to see her to talk. I want to straight up ask her, now that it's been about a week, if she feels exactly the same. I will tell her how I feel about this, and I will ask her to be completely honest and tell me what she has been thinking about since this happened and how she feels now. And that if she still feels that this is the right decision and has no regrets that I'm ready to move on. But that a phone call break up just doesn't do it for this long of a relationship. I want complete closure in one direction or another, and I think if she confirms thats its what she wants again that I'll be able to fully move on. If not, then we will have to have a long talk why she regrets it.
Either way, I don't want to be stuck in this break up limbo right now.

[Howard]

But that a phone call break up just doesn't do it for this long of a relationship.

Then she's a stupid coward for not wanting to break up in person and not wanting to see you,she's a fool on her part.

[HunidRacks]

Yeah I don't know if I want to meet with her one more time to get 'closure' anymore. I think I'm just gonna say **** it and move on. I've got a couple coffee dates with girls I used to know this week, it'll probably get my mind off of her.
Now that I look at it and think about it more I wasn't very happy in the relationship, especially the last 3-5 months. But I was too depedent on just being around her to even see that.
There's always someone hotter, nicer, smarter, funnier and more compatible to meet right? :)

[Howard]

Yeah I don't know if I want to meet with her one more time to get 'closure' anymore. I think I'm just gonna say **** it and move on. I've got a couple coffee dates with girls I used to know this week, it'll probably get my mind off of her.
Now that I look at it and think about it more I wasn't very happy in the relationship, especially the last 3-5 months. But I was too depedent on just being around her to even see that.
There's always someone hotter, nicer, smarter, funnier and more compatible to meet right? :)




Yeah of course Hunid,I'm moving on myself after 3 1/2 years with being with my special someone since October 2004 but she became a stupid coward and broke up with me over the damn phone.

[Rich]

Cut the cord. This relationship wasn't going to last and turn into a marriage anyway. Well, it might have turned into a marriage, but it wouldn't have been a marriage that lasted.

People who date the same person from a very young age, those relationships don't work out long term.

Check this site. Your story is one seen here quite often. Move on

[Howard]

People who date the same person from a very young age, those relationships don't work out long term.


Why is that,Rich?

[HunidRacks]

Rich is right, it's mostly because when you're that young (20 or 21) your life is at such a milestone point that everything is changing - your beliefs, your desires, your goals and you as a person in general are all changing. So during this time it's hard for two people to overcome such drastic changes in lifestyle. My ex (this girl I just split with lol) was all into the marriage thing and talked about moving in just 1 year ago, now she wants to travel and study abroad lol. That's why I need me a 22 or so year old, cuz by then atleast they've already figured out a path for themselves hah.
But yeah with everyday it goes on I realize how unhappy I really was with her and I'm relieved now. And excited for the future! :D

[Rich]

They still don't know at 22. Try 26-30.

Men and women want to sow their oats, especially since they're working, making money and not being dictated to by mommy and daddy.

Early to mid twenties is the best time of life! Who the heck wants to be tied down at that time of life?

[Howard]

Men and women want to sow their oats, especially since they're working, making money and not being dictated to by mommy and daddy.

I'm working,making money but at my age I feel I'm being dictated by my Mother/Father most of the time. :(