what to do

[fronkerz]

Okay so me and my girlfriend broke up officially last week, it wasn't anything bad but with out schedules and other stuff going on in our personal lives that we just lost communication. She told me that she didnt love me but cared for me as a person. We were officially together for a year and 2 months. We have had some issues with things that either my old roommate would cause trouble between us or i didnt always have my head on straight during situations to say the least, but we always made it work and it did, and nothing was better. I noticed on her facebook wall that another guy said "the feelings mutual" and she put that she "i love you!" on his wall. We have talked online or a little over the phone but not much, but we stay in contact with each other. This past weekend, i went home from school and she had her parents stay at my house down at school, which i told her wasnt a problem. Honestly she is my first everything, but to me its not about that shes the first its the person she is and what she does for me on a daily basis and the comfort and support. It helps and shes the only person who I have ever opened up to with problems and can trust with what I'm saying, which is big for me. I personally would like to have a good friendship and still be able to hang out and do the same things as we have always done, just without the boyfriend stuff or intimate stuff with her. I've always helped her around her sorority house and helped the other girls with stuff if they needed it. I wanna tell her what I feel about her but I know that I cant go into detail about it cuz I dont wanna always bring up "about us" all the time. I still have love for her and respect her, and I'm just afraid that besides having another bf or watever they are if anything, that we will loose contact with one another because then he will be on her about "why you still talking or hangin out with your ex" stuff and i dont wanna put her thru that. I dont know how to go about saying how I feel without dragging it on, as it may seem. Its really hard not having her around. I rather be single and a great friend to her then have someone and says stop talkin to her? I'm just lost with everything. Anyone been in this situation? Any help would be appreciated!

[Rich]

It's time to move on. Even though she no longer loves you, but still cares about you, doesn't mean a friendship is on the horizon.

One can tell by reading between the lines that YOU still love her and that you would get jealous and cause issues when she starting dating other guys. Deep down inside you know this to be true. You still love her.

Move on and go find another girl to love, open up to and feel close with. There are plenty of girls out there. This relationship is over and all that you can do is to learn from it and move on. Think about what went wrong and where and then make a decision not to let that happen in your next relationship.

I don't see you and this girl becoming friends as a viable option. Also, it seems that you more NEED this girl for your emotional support, self esteem, or whatever, then WANTING her. There's a difference between needing someone and wanting/desiring them.

After awhile needy people get to be a drag. No one should have to NEED someone to make their life complete, or to make you whole somehow.

Every person should be a "whole" person onto themselves before looking for someone to spend the rest of their life with.

Be mature, self-reliant, have confidence and self esteem, be educated and have a career. Be a well rounded and responsible person that can stand on your own to feet and then look for a partner to want to bring into and want to share that life with.

You sound emotionally needy and if you feel that you can't open up to and trust people for whatever reasons, then maybe you should seek counseling to help you through that.

Emotional neediness causes problems in a relationship and marriage because that person become insecure about possibly losing the other and then chokes the life out of the relationship. They smother their partner and don't give freedom.

Find out why you are the way that you are and try to work past it through counseling and not by laying that responsibilty on your partner.

[eightball61]

This happens in relationships and you'll soon realize that you'll lose more than you gain however if you learn to keep your head up you'll find your match. Even if you both continue a friendship it will be hard to maintain as friends only status. Be happy she was apart of your life and within time your mind will allow you to move on.