A Bit Confused

[Ula]

To make a long story shorter...I started in this relationship 4 months ago. He's a Navy guy, but not an average one. He's smart, considerate, and overall a really great guy... at least when we were in the same town. We knew that he was to be sent to San Diego, but it came all too fast. Our relationship before the day he left was going perfectly. No huge arguments, we got along well and talked about maybe moving in together one day. He got to San Diego and didn't call for 3 days. Then he started calling every other day. We both got web cams and talked. It was great to see each other on the cam. Well...he mentioned that once he gets really busy that he may forget to call or email. I haven't heard from him in 4 days. His cell phone doesn't get reception and he's not answering any emails. All his previous emails were kind and loving. We've even mentioned getting married in the future (after living together for awhile). What I'm getting at is that the military life is new to me. I've never been close to anyone in the service. Is it normal for someone in the navy not to contact you? I just figured that if he cared so much for me that he would try to call. He's an E5, so it's not like he's in bootcamp. Shouls I be worried at all? I've never felt this much for someone before. Never worried so much about someone like I'm worrying about him. It would be great if other people has had experience with this. Let me know! He didn't seem the type at all to just dump me. He's been gone for 3 weeks now. I guess I just want to have someone to talk to about this situation. : ) My friends tell me that men are much different about contacting loved ones. I find this hard to believe. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[eightball61]

Where he's stationed may require some adjustments to what he's used of doing. What puzzles me though is that he stated he may forget to call or email you??How can he forget?

Next time you both talk find out what his stationed hours are to work. during his off time he should have time to talk to you infact should be excited to talk to you. Play this out a little while to see what happens. If it feels like he's putting in no effort then you shouldn't either.

[Ula]

Before coming to FL for a few months, he was on a ship for 4 years. His only other serious relationship ended by him being cheated on. I don't think he's used to having someone care about him as much as I do. He said that on the ship, he lived at work, and work was all he did. He lost track of time. He seems to really care about me still. He was finally able to email me yesterday. He should be getting a new phone that works where he's stationed. I'll just have to be patient and see how it goes.

[Rich]

Two sides of the coin to consider.

When you're truly in love with someone and you miss them, then you find the time to call, see, or write (email too). Does he truly love you???

I was in the Air Force and you work. I worked the flight line and worked 10 - 14 hour days. When you get off work, you eat and most often crash (sleep). I know that with Navy guys when they're on deployment for 6 months, that they hot bunk. This means that they share bunks. While one guy is working the other is sleeping. Then vice versa.

If he's on base right now, then he should find time to call you if he really did love you and miss you. It seems though that he was laying the ground work for a brush off by saying that he might forget to call or write.

My advice is to take it slow.

Also, don't take his words of loving you and missing you as gospel when he goes on deployment. I say this because loneliness while at sea is magnified tenfold. You can get all wrapped up in planning to be together and planning a wedding, but those feelings disappear somewhat when he's back on sure.

I'm just saying to measure and see how he treats you from when he's shorebound versus when he's ship bound as there will be a difference.