anyone been in my shoes before??

[fronkerz]

Okay so me and my girlfriend broke up about a month or so ago. We ended up on good terms and neither of us did anything wrong to cause the breakup. We ended up breaking up because our communication wasn't the greatest and we didn't really talk that much, especially in the last month together. She still wants to be friends and I'm thankful that we hopefully can still be. She still means the world to me and we do respect and care alot about each other. I'm just curious for guidance because I always hear about you can't be friends with your ex. Not to sure but has anyone been in my shoes and it has worked out and did anyone ever hang out with or did anything with your ex, after breaking up? For me I consider her my best friend because she was my first girlfriend and the only person I ever opened up to. Is it possible to keep the same closeness and relationship just without the intimacy part?

[eightball61]

Is it possible to keep the same closeness and relationship just without the intimacy part?

it's possible however it will be self-control on her part and yours. You both need to be strong to keep this as friends only. Most people can't do it but some can.

[Howard]

Just keep being her friend,intimacy will come later.

[fronkerz]

Thanks for the advice. What do you mean the intimacy will come later? Do you think it's still possible to be with her more than friendship somewhere down the road? Maybe we have to be friends and establish good communication and other things first and build that up. Like she told me that we we're made for each other but I don't know if she was just saying that at that time or she really feels that way. She may have said that because she was starting to get a little annoyed by me saying sorry to her about the breakup and anything I did wrong while being her boyfriend. What do you think?

[Howard]

Thanks for the advice. What do you mean the intimacy will come later? Do you think it's still possible to be with her more than friendship somewhere down the road? Maybe we have to be friends and establish good communication and other things first and build that up. Like she told me that we we're made for each other but I don't know if she was just saying that at that time or she really feels that way. She may have said that because she was starting to get a little annoyed by me saying sorry to her about the breakup and anything I did wrong while being her boyfriend. What do you think?



I'm saying that you could have "feelings" for her and maybe she could feel the same way that you do.

[fronkerz]

Well yea I do and she's told me that she only cares about me a lot and doesn't love me. I just wanna keep close friendship and continue to be there for her if she needs it. Do you think that there might be feelings to maybe someday down the road get back together?

[eightball61]

I'm saying that you could have "feelings" for her and maybe she could feel the same way that you do.

Howard,

They're trying to build a friendship after having the relationship.

[Diablo]

With the ex's can't be friends advice, you should remember the saying, "no generalization is worth a damn; including this one." Ex's can't be friends if either is pining for the relationship back. If neither of them are, there's no reason they can't be friends.

[Howard]

Well yea I do and she's told me that she only cares about me a lot and doesn't love me. I just wanna keep close friendship and continue to be there for her if she needs it. Do you think that there might be feelings to maybe someday down the road get back together?



You would have to establish a bond of trust in the future with her.

[ChristinaMH]

Absolutely, I'm friends with my last two ex's, very good friends with the very last. I know what you mean my the opening up portion, he was the first person I told most everything to.
But yes, be weary of self-control. After we broke up and didn't talk for around 2 months, and decided to see each other again, we hooked up for about a week or so and then it ended up messy again and we didn't talk for another month. Now I know better, and we're keeping each other as exclusively friends.

Good luck.

[Howard]

How's everything with your friend?