Need advice!

[dylan191]

I have been with my GF for over 8 months. She was recently out for her b-day and gave a guy her number. When her phone rang with a number she didn't recognize she confessed and apologized explaining she was drunk and not thinking. He called again three days later. I am fairly mad and think she gave him a reason to call twice, I could use some advice on how to handle this?

[eightball61]

She did a stupid thing and now regrets it. This guy is trying because she is being to nice rather than telling him not to call again. I too would be floored but she was drunk and we all have done stupid things being drunk. It could have been worse but it isn't. I am wondering though where her friends were the time this happened.

Now does this ruin the trust on her going out in the future? Sure it does....I mean she didn't go home with this guy but gave her number. I am sure she didn''t just give it and I am willing to bet they flirted throughout the night. If she was to ask how she can take it all back she has to live by your rules(not being a total jerk though).,,,like if she wanted to go out again then you have to go with her. Her group of friends have proven not to be trustworthy with so if she hangs out with them then you should have the right to check up on her. She did this to herself and now has to own up to it. We all learn from mistakes and lets prey she learns from this.

Alcohol can be very evil but can be a fun thing. She has proven not ready to be mature enough to go out with friends and have a good time just with them. Even if she did it as a joke, its not...Its seems so minor but the impact that this has can be crucial to the relationship because everytime this guy now calls it just creates a bigger mess.

[dylan191]

Thanks for the feedback. I saw the number, when he called and I am tempted to take a look at her cell in the next couple of days to see if he called again or is she called him. However, I feel weird doing that and don't know what to say if I see that happened.

[eightball61]

Don't look into her cell unless you need to. Every month she gets a bill with all the numbers listed you both can go over together if she wishes. IF you feel she is sneaking around and you need to play detective then you can but if she find out your being sneaky then it can cause a huge fight. If she was being sneaky and smart then she could just erase the number the phone but then again will stil show up on the bill.

I have a few questions though:

Has she told him not to call anymore? Did she do it around you? What does she say and feel toward this whole thing? I know you said she feels bad and wiered out but what is she willing to do for you to change the mistake?

[Rich]

Have an honest, mature and non threatening talk with your GF. Tell her that you just want to make sure that she is happy with you and your relationship.

Ask her feelings on where you guys stand and if she's truly happy. Explain...in a nice way....that sometimes the subconscious mind does things for a reason.

Just tell her that you love her and that you want to make sure that she's happy or if there's anything that she'd like to change about the relationship.

If, during the talk, she says that she's happy and it was just a drunk thing. Then forget about it. But if you see her acting wierd when her phone rings or if she starts doing wierd things, then there might be more going on.

Just like with cars, there's nothing wrong with two people sitting down and doing a relationship inspection. Take care of little issues before they grow into bigger ones.

There was something inside of your GF for her to give her number out to another guy. You might want to see what that is and nip it in the bud.

Rich

[dylan191]

Thanks for all the replys. Well she has never answered the phone when he calls. We did have a serious talk about things and she tells me everything is great between us. It is just a hard time right now because my father passed away last month and I'm not myself so I am just worried that she did this because she doesn't love me enough to be with me through this time and she wants to be with someone who isn't a wreck right now. We'll see what happens, but thanks again...

[eightball61]

Step 1: Dont make excuses to why she done this. She was at the bar with a few to many in her and she gave a number out to a guy. This is the situation that needs to be looked at. He is now calling and lets trust her on her word that it was a mistake and she is not picking up the phone. If he does continue to call though then she needs to tell him the trueth so he stops. He may continue to call because with her her not answering he will try until he gets a hold of her. Some people like that just dont get the hint.

Keep the communication going though with her and focus on the relationship rather than fighting about what happened. There will be fustrating moments to what she has done but she expressed her feelings of sorry to you about this and now its time to make the step foward into the relationship in trying to move on from this. Its going to stick on your mind and will be hard for you and its her fault for breaking that trust but if you still want to move foward with her then thats what you gonna have to do.