need help getting over an ex

[NeedToGetOverIt]

hi. i wanted to know what kind of advice i could get for my issue. my ex-boyfriend and i had been going out for more than 5 years. in year 3 of your relationship, i found out he had been cheating on me with multiple girls here and there throughtout our relationship. of course being the naive and stupid girl that i was, i believed him when he said he would change and would never do it again. but of course, that didn't happen and he continued it, but i didn't find out until 5 months ago when i finally got the courage to break up with him and leave him for good. i thought i was doing a good job of getting over it but i recently found out that he already has a new girlfriend. i am having such a hard time dealing with this. why is it when i thought i was being so strong, am i all of a sudden depressed? how do i deal with trying to get over this? i keep thinking about it. i know time will heal but it's so hard right now. any words of advice??

[eightball61]

I want to start off with congratulating you for leaving him. It did take some time but you did good for yourself and left. Now I know it hurts and you can't get over him that easy but you done a lot of good by breaking things off. If you stayed with him then there would have been more hurt and lieing going on and you dont need that. You saw that you wanted someone to share your life with that would trustful and faithful. You will soon find that person but like with anything it will take time. You are not ready to date at this moment because you are still stuck on your ex and thats fine.

Healing will always take time and I wish I could help you rush through it but when your mind is ready to let go then you will be ready. In the meantime though just try to stay busy and try some new things. Your thoughts are still to him because being with someone for 5 years your thinking turns to that person and loses the touch that you once were. Your mind has to adjust to single life and also not being with him. Things will get on the uprise though and just give it some time and things will change. I do wish the best for you. ;)

[lostandconfused]

First i'd like to say some things about co-dependant personality. Ask your self is it missing him or the coming to the everyday routine with him. He has cheated on you many times so, certainly he already has a girlfriend. the vision of him being intimate or happy with another could be your depressed thoughts. Well, be glad he's not intimate with you any longer. STD"S other partners....etc. You may even ask or wonder to yourself? How can he just move on to someone else? These are your issues because you were committed to him and not one to cheat. Thinking he is happy or over you in your thought procise doesnt mean all two people think the same. Honestly people that cheat and move on too quickly will find themselves back in the same position every time. To me these type people are the ones with serious issues. Having a meaningful lasting true defined relationship will probably never happen for him. He is searching for that never going to find something? He doesnt even know what it is! I would say there will be a time he will come back to you and you will need to be in a state of NO! Period. If you let him back in it will only destroy you that much more again.
Work on the issues you have about your self. What ever they may be. Change your patterns of life. The things you want to change. So when he does or if he does come back, you will be able to say NO. Ill assure you then you will have control over your life. It may hurt and be the hardest thing to say but you will then have a whole new sense about yourself.
my2cents

[Diablo]

Okay; how to deal with the pain. Get your mind off of it. Read, learn how to play the guitar, write poetry and fiction, take up painting, etc... It doesn't matter what the activity is as long as it's something positive and gets your mind off of him.

[Rich]

You need to get to the bottom of why you think so little of yourself that you're missing being with someone who disrespected you and treated you like crap?

Are you insecure or lack confidence in who you are and what you have to offer to this world?

If the answer is yes, then work on those aspects of yourself and you'll take your mind off of missing him.

If you are a confident person and sure of yourself, then KNOW that you did the right thing. Maybe actually be pissed at yourself a bit for staying so long and trusting him. That will help you get over him.

Make a conscious decision to not be that way again and make a vow to find someone new and do it the right way. Pick yourself up and feel proud.

Move on with no regrets. As to why you're having regrets, lord knows. Don't feel that way.

Rich
www.awesomerelationships.com

[icanhelp]

well just because you needed to break up with him doesnt mean you dont still have fealings for him.now first of all, if a guy has cheated ...ever... then hes not worth your time and shouldnt put your self through it.
now ways to cope, you only need to relize that he treeted you the way he did and that you deserve a man who will give you the respect and devotion that a women deserves.
hope i could help.